sad-eyed one. Obviously if Madge had to feel lovelorn, so did the animal kingdom.
Thoughtfully, I drummed the sides of the laptop to the beat of âBlack Socks.â Couldnât figure out who or what the eighty-thousand-dollar king was, but a blazingly bright idea was occurring to me about what I could do for Madge. A Good Samaritan act, you might say.
I called up Gmail.
[email protected] , I typed in.
I knew my future brother-in-lawâs password, not through any sneaky means, but because Jack himself had given it to me. Earlier in the summer, Mother had banned me from using my own e-mail address,
[email protected]. Too many complaints from neighbors about the helpful hints Iâd been sending on theft and fire prevention, recycling dos and donâts, emotional health and well-beingâyou name it, Iâd probably covered it.
One day, when I was hanging out at the Spotted Owl Advocacy Committee office, Iâd informed Jack that I was in utter agony from e-mail deprivation. I had, I absolutely had , to let Talbot and Pantelli know Iâd found the newest Deathstalkers comic at our favorite store, Komix R Us.
âYou could phone Talbot and Pantelli,â Jack sugâgested.
âPhone?! Please. Thatâs so-o-o-o last century.â
Jack, busy photocopying some rally notices, told me to use his e-mail. âMy passwordâs âMadge,ââ he flung over his shoulder.
Madge . How drearily predictable for a lovebird, I thought at the time and again now, typing it in on the Gold-and-Blue.
My plan? A sickly sweet love message from Jack to Madge. Just the ticket to cheer Madge up, I decided.
Hmmm. Treacly. I wasnât really into that. But wait, there was that Elton John love song. I could borrow liberally from that:
I hope you donât mind that I put down in words How wonderful life is while youâre in the world.
Pretty sickening. Yup, Madge would love that.
Quoted adoringly for my true love, Madge Galloway, by her heartâs desire, Jack French , I finished off and pressed Send .
I then took a minute to scan Jackâs in-box. Curiosity was healthy, in my view. A true sign of an optimist, eager to find out whatâs around lifeâs next corner.
I recognized all the sender names: mostly Madge, and Jackâs colleagues on the Spotted Owl Advocacy Committee. I was preparing to exit when my gaze fell on a non-colleague name.
Veronica LaFlamme.
LaFlamme, I thought. The person whoâd prevented Jack from coming to see Madge the other day.
The subject line beside Veronicaâs name read Tried calling you today, butâ¦
I never could resist a but . Pushing aside what shreds of conscience I had about trespassing, I clicked on the message.
â¦some kidlet answered. I remembered your warning about an inquisitive redhead, so I hung up. I didnât want her to alert Madge to my existence.
I glared at the screen. Veronica LaFlamme was Peanut-Butter Voice! I knew that was a voice not to be trusted.
With growing horror, I read on.
I understand that youâd want to keep things between us a secret until you break the news to Madge .
Just as Iâd feared. Jack was two-timing Madge!
Now that I had confirmation, I almost couldnât believe it. I sat and stewed, muttering out plans to draw and quarter Jack, among other slow-death punishments, until Madge glanced up from her elk sketch. âWhy the scowl, Dinah?â
âIâ¦umâ¦â I could hardly admit to my sister that Iâd been snooping in her fiancéâs e-mail. However, I might as well start conditioning her to the single life right now.
âEmily Carr,â I blurted. âNow thereâs an artist who never married, never had kids. She threw herself body and soul into her work.â
âI suppose.â Madge regarded me doubtfully.
âIth not body and thoul Iâm worried about. Ith teeth,â announced a somewhat indistinct voice.
The