Read Online Shadow Reaper (Shadowlands Series) by Amos Cassidy - Free Book Online
Authors: Amos Cassidy
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you’re caught, they’ll kill you.”
“I’d rather die on my own terms then be a slave to fate.”
There was silence and I could practically see the gears in Blake’s head turning.
“Clay will never forgive me.”
I relaxed. I had him. “Clay doesn’t have to know. Listen, I’m always going off by myself, he knows that, so we’ll just let him think I’m on one of my sneaky runs. I’ll be back before he suspects.”
Blake’s eyes darkened. “And what if you’re not?”
What if you don’t come back? That’s what he meant. In all honesty, it was probably the most likely scenario, so why the hell did I have a bubble of excitement in my chest? There was something seriously wrong with me.
“She’ll be back. I’ll make sure of it,” Bernadette said.
“What?” I shook my head. “No. You’re not coming.”
She chuffed. “And you’re going to stop me how?”
She had a point, but it wouldn’t matter, us against them. “If I don’t come back, you let Clay believe I died in the Under. I’m sure the council can come up with some kind of cover—a body that looks like me. From what you say, there’re plenty out there. Just don’t . . . don’t let him lose hope. If I don’t come back, let him believe in the future for as long as he can.”
Blake ducked his head and swiped at his eyes. “There’s a rotation change at midnight. A ten minute window when the Eye won’t be manned.” He turned away and fixed his eyes on the monitors again.
We were done.
So done.
***
I couldn’t face the pretence of a normal conversation with Clay. He knew me too well, and I wasn’t that good a liar. I was sure he would read my intentions on my face, that he would try to stop me, and that he would succeed. I told myself I was the strong one, the fighter, the brave one for going into the Shadowlands time and time again, but was it bravery when I ached to go? Surely bravely was conquering a fear, something Clay had done when he’d come to get me two weeks ago, getting so close to the Horizon that he could have touched it. Yeah, he thought I didn’t know about his fear, but I could read him just as well as he could read me.
He’d come to find me even though he was afraid. Clay was the brave one, not me, and if he decided to convince me to stay, I would buckle. The bravado would dissolve, and I would be the young girl who hid while her parents breathed their last, too afraid to watch them die.
I couldn’t face pretending that everything was normal, so I decided to bail on our meeting. I left him a note in his room saying I had a splitting headache and was getting an early night. It wasn’t his room, though. It was Blake’s room, although I could see traces of Clay everywhere. The socks kicked under the bed, the shirt draped over the chair, the hair clippings in the sink. Clay was such a slob. I chuckled to myself and then pressed my lips together as my chest filled with a strange, empty ache.
What if I never saw him again? What if I never got to hear him laugh or hold him? We’d been inseparable for nineteen years. He was the light to my shadow . . . what if I never made it back?
The door opened behind me and I jumped, swirling round to find Clay in the doorway.
“Hi.” Clay’s frown turned into a smile. “Ash, you’re early.”
I glanced at the note on his nightstand and he tracked my gaze, reached around me, and picked up the piece of paper.
I quickly painted a pained expression on my face as he scanned the note. His eyes darkened with concern and he shook his head.
“Of course. Go get some sleep.”
I nodded and moved toward the door, wanting to get away before my façade cracked, but my heart was in my mouth, and I needed to hug him, so I swerved and leaned in for what I planned to be a quick hug. But Clay wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me tight. I inhaled deeply, relaxing as his scent enveloped me.
“I love you, Clay.”
He tensed a fraction. “You all right, Ash?”
I
“I’d rather die on my own terms then be a slave to fate.”
There was silence and I could practically see the gears in Blake’s head turning.
“Clay will never forgive me.”
I relaxed. I had him. “Clay doesn’t have to know. Listen, I’m always going off by myself, he knows that, so we’ll just let him think I’m on one of my sneaky runs. I’ll be back before he suspects.”
Blake’s eyes darkened. “And what if you’re not?”
What if you don’t come back? That’s what he meant. In all honesty, it was probably the most likely scenario, so why the hell did I have a bubble of excitement in my chest? There was something seriously wrong with me.
“She’ll be back. I’ll make sure of it,” Bernadette said.
“What?” I shook my head. “No. You’re not coming.”
She chuffed. “And you’re going to stop me how?”
She had a point, but it wouldn’t matter, us against them. “If I don’t come back, you let Clay believe I died in the Under. I’m sure the council can come up with some kind of cover—a body that looks like me. From what you say, there’re plenty out there. Just don’t . . . don’t let him lose hope. If I don’t come back, let him believe in the future for as long as he can.”
Blake ducked his head and swiped at his eyes. “There’s a rotation change at midnight. A ten minute window when the Eye won’t be manned.” He turned away and fixed his eyes on the monitors again.
We were done.
So done.
***
I couldn’t face the pretence of a normal conversation with Clay. He knew me too well, and I wasn’t that good a liar. I was sure he would read my intentions on my face, that he would try to stop me, and that he would succeed. I told myself I was the strong one, the fighter, the brave one for going into the Shadowlands time and time again, but was it bravery when I ached to go? Surely bravely was conquering a fear, something Clay had done when he’d come to get me two weeks ago, getting so close to the Horizon that he could have touched it. Yeah, he thought I didn’t know about his fear, but I could read him just as well as he could read me.
He’d come to find me even though he was afraid. Clay was the brave one, not me, and if he decided to convince me to stay, I would buckle. The bravado would dissolve, and I would be the young girl who hid while her parents breathed their last, too afraid to watch them die.
I couldn’t face pretending that everything was normal, so I decided to bail on our meeting. I left him a note in his room saying I had a splitting headache and was getting an early night. It wasn’t his room, though. It was Blake’s room, although I could see traces of Clay everywhere. The socks kicked under the bed, the shirt draped over the chair, the hair clippings in the sink. Clay was such a slob. I chuckled to myself and then pressed my lips together as my chest filled with a strange, empty ache.
What if I never saw him again? What if I never got to hear him laugh or hold him? We’d been inseparable for nineteen years. He was the light to my shadow . . . what if I never made it back?
The door opened behind me and I jumped, swirling round to find Clay in the doorway.
“Hi.” Clay’s frown turned into a smile. “Ash, you’re early.”
I glanced at the note on his nightstand and he tracked my gaze, reached around me, and picked up the piece of paper.
I quickly painted a pained expression on my face as he scanned the note. His eyes darkened with concern and he shook his head.
“Of course. Go get some sleep.”
I nodded and moved toward the door, wanting to get away before my façade cracked, but my heart was in my mouth, and I needed to hug him, so I swerved and leaned in for what I planned to be a quick hug. But Clay wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me tight. I inhaled deeply, relaxing as his scent enveloped me.
“I love you, Clay.”
He tensed a fraction. “You all right, Ash?”
I
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