Read Online Sexual Perversity in Chicago and the Duck Variations by David Mamet - Free Book Online
Authors: David Mamet
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that.
GEORGE :
It's all right.
EMIL :
What were you gonna say?
GEORGE :
About the balance of nature.
EMIL :
Yes?
GEORGE :
Being dependent on one of the Professional Spectator Sports.
EMIL :
You're fulla shit.
GEORGE :
For its continuation.
EMIL :
What made you think of that?
GEORGE :
I'm not sure.
EMIL :
Some sport?
GEORGE :
I don't know.
EMIL :
Nature?
GEORGE :
Perhaps.
EMIL :
Do you remember which sport?
GEORGE :
I . . . no, I wouldn't want to go on record as remembering. One of the Major League sports.
EMIL :
Where did you read it?
GEORGE :
I don't know. The Reader's Digest . . .
EMIL :
Eh?
GEORGE :
Also they've found a use for cancer.
EMIL :
Knock wood.
GEORGE :
It's about time. All the millions we spend on research, cigarettes . . .
EMIL :
Wildlife.
GEORGE :
Nothing wrong with spending money on Wildlife.
EMIL :
It's all take, take, take.
GEORGE :
Nature gives it back many times over.
EMIL :
Yeah?
GEORGE :
A blue heron at sunset.
EMIL :
They're all dead . . .
GEORGE :
A whiff of breeze from the lake . . .
EMIL :
. . . or hiding.
GEORGE :
A flight of Ducks.
EMIL :
The duck is, after all, only a bird.
GEORGE :
But what a bird.
EMIL :
A pigeon, too, is a bird.
GEORGE :
There's no comparison.
EMIL :
What is the difference between a duck and a pigeon?
GEORGE :
Basically, a lack of comparison.
EMIL :
Aside from that?
GEORGE :
It is a difference of . . . self-respect. You can't argue with that.
EMIL :
I won't begin.
GEORGE :
It wouldn't get you anywhere.
EMIL :
Ha. Ha.
GEORGE :
Big talk.
EMIL :
I'm ready to back it up.
GEORGE :
Oh yeah?
EMIL :
Yeah.
GEORGE :
All right.
EMIL :
. . . anytime you're ready.
GEORGE :
I'm ready.
EMIL :
All right, then.
GEORGE :
Are you ready?
EMIL :
You betcha, Red Ryder.
GEORGE :
Good.
EMIL :
. . . Hey! What? Grownups squabbling about birds?
GEORGE :
You started it.
EMIL :
I beg to differ.
GEORGE :
Go right ahead.
EMIL :
All right, I do differ.
GEORGE :
It makes no difference. I was holding an intelligent conversation and then you came along . . .
EMIL :
And simply pointed out that you were turning something into a thing which it is not.
GEORGE :
What is more noble than a duck.
EMIL :
Depends on the duck.
GEORGE :
Is a pigeon more noble than a duck.
EMIL :
Are you saying that just because the duck is wild and has no rules . . .
GEORGE :
No rules? No rules? No rules but the sun and the moon! No rules but the law of the seasons and when to go where at what specific time? No rules but to find a mate and cleave into her until death does him part?
EMIL :
Is that true?
GEORCE :
It surely is.
EMIL :
That I didn't know.
GEORGE :
Well, learn from your mistakes.
EMIL :
I will.
GEORGE :
No rules!
EMIL :
All right.
GEORGE :
One of the most rigid creatures.
EMIL :
I'm sorry.
GEORGE :
Did you know that many human societies are modeled on those of our animal friends?
EMIL :
Pish.
GEORGE :
I beg to differ about it.
EMIL :
Pish foo.
GEORGE :
The French, for example.
EMIL :
Are modeled on animals?
GEORGE :
Historically, yes.
EMIL :
Where did you get that?
GEORGE :
Some guide to France.
EMIL :
I don't believe it.
GEORGE :
I got it somewhere, I'll show you.
EMIL :
You do that.
GEORGE :
I will.
EMIL :
You just do that.
GEORGE :
Don't push me.
EMIL :
I won't.
GEORGE :
All right.
EMIL :
Darn tootin’.
TWELFTH VARIATION
“Whenever I Think Of Wild Flying Things”
EMIL :
Whenever I think of wild flying things I wonder.
GEORGE :
Yes?
EMIL :
If, in the City, as we are . . .
GEORGE :
Yes?
EMIL :
We maybe . . .
GEORGE :
Yes?
EMIL :
Forget it.
GEORGE :
Ducks.
EMIL :
Ducks.
GEORGE :
Ducks. Flying wild.
EMIL :
Wild over boundaries.
GEORGE :
Lakes, rivers.
EMIL :
Imaginary lines . . .
GEORGE :
The Equator.
EMIL :
Never minding . . . Never stopping . . .
GEORGE :
Stopping for no man.
EMIL :
High above unmanned terrain.
GEORGE :
Barren.
EMIL :
Unexplored North Country.
GEORGE :
Naked. Strange.
EMIL :
Here and there a Mountie.
GEORGE :
Cold.
EMIL :
Nowhere to rest.
GEORGE :
What a life.
EMIL :
Sleeping on the fly.
GEORGE
GEORGE :
It's all right.
EMIL :
What were you gonna say?
GEORGE :
About the balance of nature.
EMIL :
Yes?
GEORGE :
Being dependent on one of the Professional Spectator Sports.
EMIL :
You're fulla shit.
GEORGE :
For its continuation.
EMIL :
What made you think of that?
GEORGE :
I'm not sure.
EMIL :
Some sport?
GEORGE :
I don't know.
EMIL :
Nature?
GEORGE :
Perhaps.
EMIL :
Do you remember which sport?
GEORGE :
I . . . no, I wouldn't want to go on record as remembering. One of the Major League sports.
EMIL :
Where did you read it?
GEORGE :
I don't know. The Reader's Digest . . .
EMIL :
Eh?
GEORGE :
Also they've found a use for cancer.
EMIL :
Knock wood.
GEORGE :
It's about time. All the millions we spend on research, cigarettes . . .
EMIL :
Wildlife.
GEORGE :
Nothing wrong with spending money on Wildlife.
EMIL :
It's all take, take, take.
GEORGE :
Nature gives it back many times over.
EMIL :
Yeah?
GEORGE :
A blue heron at sunset.
EMIL :
They're all dead . . .
GEORGE :
A whiff of breeze from the lake . . .
EMIL :
. . . or hiding.
GEORGE :
A flight of Ducks.
EMIL :
The duck is, after all, only a bird.
GEORGE :
But what a bird.
EMIL :
A pigeon, too, is a bird.
GEORGE :
There's no comparison.
EMIL :
What is the difference between a duck and a pigeon?
GEORGE :
Basically, a lack of comparison.
EMIL :
Aside from that?
GEORGE :
It is a difference of . . . self-respect. You can't argue with that.
EMIL :
I won't begin.
GEORGE :
It wouldn't get you anywhere.
EMIL :
Ha. Ha.
GEORGE :
Big talk.
EMIL :
I'm ready to back it up.
GEORGE :
Oh yeah?
EMIL :
Yeah.
GEORGE :
All right.
EMIL :
. . . anytime you're ready.
GEORGE :
I'm ready.
EMIL :
All right, then.
GEORGE :
Are you ready?
EMIL :
You betcha, Red Ryder.
GEORGE :
Good.
EMIL :
. . . Hey! What? Grownups squabbling about birds?
GEORGE :
You started it.
EMIL :
I beg to differ.
GEORGE :
Go right ahead.
EMIL :
All right, I do differ.
GEORGE :
It makes no difference. I was holding an intelligent conversation and then you came along . . .
EMIL :
And simply pointed out that you were turning something into a thing which it is not.
GEORGE :
What is more noble than a duck.
EMIL :
Depends on the duck.
GEORGE :
Is a pigeon more noble than a duck.
EMIL :
Are you saying that just because the duck is wild and has no rules . . .
GEORGE :
No rules? No rules? No rules but the sun and the moon! No rules but the law of the seasons and when to go where at what specific time? No rules but to find a mate and cleave into her until death does him part?
EMIL :
Is that true?
GEORCE :
It surely is.
EMIL :
That I didn't know.
GEORGE :
Well, learn from your mistakes.
EMIL :
I will.
GEORGE :
No rules!
EMIL :
All right.
GEORGE :
One of the most rigid creatures.
EMIL :
I'm sorry.
GEORGE :
Did you know that many human societies are modeled on those of our animal friends?
EMIL :
Pish.
GEORGE :
I beg to differ about it.
EMIL :
Pish foo.
GEORGE :
The French, for example.
EMIL :
Are modeled on animals?
GEORGE :
Historically, yes.
EMIL :
Where did you get that?
GEORGE :
Some guide to France.
EMIL :
I don't believe it.
GEORGE :
I got it somewhere, I'll show you.
EMIL :
You do that.
GEORGE :
I will.
EMIL :
You just do that.
GEORGE :
Don't push me.
EMIL :
I won't.
GEORGE :
All right.
EMIL :
Darn tootin’.
TWELFTH VARIATION
“Whenever I Think Of Wild Flying Things”
EMIL :
Whenever I think of wild flying things I wonder.
GEORGE :
Yes?
EMIL :
If, in the City, as we are . . .
GEORGE :
Yes?
EMIL :
We maybe . . .
GEORGE :
Yes?
EMIL :
Forget it.
GEORGE :
Ducks.
EMIL :
Ducks.
GEORGE :
Ducks. Flying wild.
EMIL :
Wild over boundaries.
GEORGE :
Lakes, rivers.
EMIL :
Imaginary lines . . .
GEORGE :
The Equator.
EMIL :
Never minding . . . Never stopping . . .
GEORGE :
Stopping for no man.
EMIL :
High above unmanned terrain.
GEORGE :
Barren.
EMIL :
Unexplored North Country.
GEORGE :
Naked. Strange.
EMIL :
Here and there a Mountie.
GEORGE :
Cold.
EMIL :
Nowhere to rest.
GEORGE :
What a life.
EMIL :
Sleeping on the fly.
GEORGE
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