Read Online Sex in a Coffin (Kismet Knight, Vampire Psychologist) by Lynda Hilburn - Free Book Online
Authors: Lynda Hilburn
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a young-sounding voice said in the background.
“No. I’m good, thanks.”
“Would you like a coffee refill?”
“Sure. Why not?”
“Alan?”
“Yeah, I’m here – looking like I wet myself – but I’m here.” His mouth shifted away from the phone. “Thanks, I’ll try to hang on to this one.” He cleared his throat. “So, like I said, I left Sedona. A few days ago I started hearing rumblings about activities in San Francisco that sounded like our repulsive, bald, toothsome friend so I hit the road. I’m now staring out across the water at the notorious Alcatraz, and thinking life doesn’t get much better than this.”
“San Francisco? I just saw something about serial killers there. Are you involved with that, too?”
“No. I heard about it, but nobody’s said anything. I’ve got my hands full with Stink Vamp and the six deaths I’m sure he’s involved with, and as psychologically interesting as it would be to chase some version of Hannibal Lecter, I can only handle one fiend at a time. Of course none of the locals have put the pieces together about the six drained bodies yet, so I’m the only one who knows that there’s a supernatural angle.”
“Well, as awful as this sounds, if you have to track him somewhere, I can’t imagine a more beautiful city.”
“Yeah, it’s great. I’ve spent a lot of time here over the years. And let me remind you that you have a standing invitation to come and visit, wherever I am. I’d be glad to show you the town.” He laughed. “And the inside of my comfortable hotel room. We could tour this side of the bed, then that side, then the table in the corner...”
Nope. Let’s not go there.
“Gee, thanks.”
He didn’t say anything for a few seconds. “Okay. What’s up? You didn’t give me any grief for the hotel room remark. Is something wrong? What was your message about?”
“I saw Lucifer.”
“What do you mean?” The easy banter ended. His voice acquired a serious edge. “Where did you see him? My undead intel is pretty solid that he’s primarily killing on the West Coast.”
I took a sip of my coffee to give myself time to decide what I wanted to say.
“I’m sure you’re right. We both know vampires can be on the other side of the world or in another century from one moment to the next. There’s really no way for humans to track them.”
“So, where was he?”
“In Aspen. I went to a vampire wedding with Devereux last night, and Lucifer showed up in time to ruin the nuptials. It was bad enough that he was even there. But he seemed to focus on me. He stared and pointed before Devereux took off after him and both of them disappeared. Of course, he stank – engulfed in his usual horrible rotting-corpse, sewer-from-hell odor. I smelled him a few nanoseconds before I saw him. But just because he was there doesn’t tell us anything about where he is now.”
It felt so good to be able to talk to someone who knew.
“Yeah, you’re right about that. You said the last time we talked that you’re still getting voice mail messages from the Brother Luther part of the maniac’s personality. Is he still calling?” Another crash. “Turds! What the hell is up with me today? I just dropped my bagel plate. Damn tiny tables. I’m going to gather my stuff and walk back to the hotel room. Don’t hang up. So, about the messages...”
“Uh, huh. He calls at least once per day. Same tirades as before. I’m going to burn in hell, satan’s whore, I’ll be punished, washed in the blood – same demented song. Sometimes he just sobs and says help me, help me, over and over. But I guess that’s the child part. I wonder if there are only three personalities, or if we’re in for additional surprises?”
A door slammed.
“All right. I’m back in my room. With my luck an earthquake will shove California into the ocean today, and I can’t swim. Hey, do you know what Skype is?”
“Sure. I use it to meet with clients who can’t come to
“No. I’m good, thanks.”
“Would you like a coffee refill?”
“Sure. Why not?”
“Alan?”
“Yeah, I’m here – looking like I wet myself – but I’m here.” His mouth shifted away from the phone. “Thanks, I’ll try to hang on to this one.” He cleared his throat. “So, like I said, I left Sedona. A few days ago I started hearing rumblings about activities in San Francisco that sounded like our repulsive, bald, toothsome friend so I hit the road. I’m now staring out across the water at the notorious Alcatraz, and thinking life doesn’t get much better than this.”
“San Francisco? I just saw something about serial killers there. Are you involved with that, too?”
“No. I heard about it, but nobody’s said anything. I’ve got my hands full with Stink Vamp and the six deaths I’m sure he’s involved with, and as psychologically interesting as it would be to chase some version of Hannibal Lecter, I can only handle one fiend at a time. Of course none of the locals have put the pieces together about the six drained bodies yet, so I’m the only one who knows that there’s a supernatural angle.”
“Well, as awful as this sounds, if you have to track him somewhere, I can’t imagine a more beautiful city.”
“Yeah, it’s great. I’ve spent a lot of time here over the years. And let me remind you that you have a standing invitation to come and visit, wherever I am. I’d be glad to show you the town.” He laughed. “And the inside of my comfortable hotel room. We could tour this side of the bed, then that side, then the table in the corner...”
Nope. Let’s not go there.
“Gee, thanks.”
He didn’t say anything for a few seconds. “Okay. What’s up? You didn’t give me any grief for the hotel room remark. Is something wrong? What was your message about?”
“I saw Lucifer.”
“What do you mean?” The easy banter ended. His voice acquired a serious edge. “Where did you see him? My undead intel is pretty solid that he’s primarily killing on the West Coast.”
I took a sip of my coffee to give myself time to decide what I wanted to say.
“I’m sure you’re right. We both know vampires can be on the other side of the world or in another century from one moment to the next. There’s really no way for humans to track them.”
“So, where was he?”
“In Aspen. I went to a vampire wedding with Devereux last night, and Lucifer showed up in time to ruin the nuptials. It was bad enough that he was even there. But he seemed to focus on me. He stared and pointed before Devereux took off after him and both of them disappeared. Of course, he stank – engulfed in his usual horrible rotting-corpse, sewer-from-hell odor. I smelled him a few nanoseconds before I saw him. But just because he was there doesn’t tell us anything about where he is now.”
It felt so good to be able to talk to someone who knew.
“Yeah, you’re right about that. You said the last time we talked that you’re still getting voice mail messages from the Brother Luther part of the maniac’s personality. Is he still calling?” Another crash. “Turds! What the hell is up with me today? I just dropped my bagel plate. Damn tiny tables. I’m going to gather my stuff and walk back to the hotel room. Don’t hang up. So, about the messages...”
“Uh, huh. He calls at least once per day. Same tirades as before. I’m going to burn in hell, satan’s whore, I’ll be punished, washed in the blood – same demented song. Sometimes he just sobs and says help me, help me, over and over. But I guess that’s the child part. I wonder if there are only three personalities, or if we’re in for additional surprises?”
A door slammed.
“All right. I’m back in my room. With my luck an earthquake will shove California into the ocean today, and I can’t swim. Hey, do you know what Skype is?”
“Sure. I use it to meet with clients who can’t come to
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