close family. She’s so stinking cute in her little pink and purple tutu. I’ll have to show you pictures tomorrow. She’s three and a half and you can only imagine what watching a group of little girls that age trying to dance around on a stage looks like.” She giggles.
Peyton.
Peyton would be three and a half.
I’ll never see her in a pink and purple tutu.
I’ll never see her dance on a stage.
“Savannah, are you okay? I lost you.”
“I…I’m sorry. I guess I just stared off for a minute.” I force my face to smile so that I don’t worry Rachel, and so that I don’t have to have a conversation that I desperately want to avoid at this very moment. “Sure, I’ll close up. No problem. That sounds cute. I can’t wait to see pictures tomorrow.”
“Great. Thanks so much. I really appreciate it.”
“No problem.” I walk quietly back to the bathroom and take a quick look at myself in the mirror. My face is ashen and my eyes look tired. My stomach turns slightly and I think for a minute that perhaps I’ll regret eating that French Pig panini for lunch. I take a minute to splash some water on my face and just focus on breathing in and out instead of on losing my lunch.
I make it through the end of the day and close up the salon, saying my goodbyes to Audrey and Heather, who had come in for the afternoon. I can’t get back to my apartment fast enough. My blanket is calling my name, as are my favorite oversized sweatshirt, and my thickest socks. Damn if I’m not freezing my ass off right now, which I see as a bad sign. There’s no way I don’t have a fever.
I don’t bother to stop anywhere on the way home. I just drive quickly the few blocks it takes to get there. When I enter my apartment I throw my keys on the table and head for the kitchen where I remember seeing the bottle of Advil. I grab three pills and a tall glass of water before heading to my bedroom. Grabbing a fresh towel from the pantry, I slip around the corner to the master bathroom. I always get a shower after a day at the salon. Undoubtedly, I have hair, other people’s hair, all over me, and I feel nasty if I don’t get it off of me before getting into my bed. Tonight, I’m happy to be able to stand under a scalding hot shower in hopes that something, anything, warms me up.
Unfortunately, it’s not quite the heavenly escape I was hoping for. My body aches and I’m exhausted. I’m obviously coming down with something but I can’t figure out yet what it is. Something just isn’t right, but I just want to go to sleep. I’m sure I’ll feel better in the morning. I pull on my pajamas and my thickest socks. Mom always told me when you’re cold at night, socks do the trick and she was right. I roll into bed. deciding to not watch Boston Legal . I know I’ll just sleep through it anyway, and I don’t want to miss anything. It’s lame that I’m going to bed with no supper at seven-thirty on a Wednesday night, but with any luck I’ll feel much better in the morning.
I miss Shawn.
He always took care of me when I was sick.
He would be keeping me warm right now.
Why do men always feel so warm and comfortable?
I dream of him, of his arms wrapped around me, of his kisses running down my neck that make me shiver slightly. He lies behind me, my back to his chest, holding me in his arms, gently stroking my hair as I drift in and out of sleep. The sound of his voice humming to me soothes the ache in my body as I lay happily in his arms. I’ve missed this feeling, being held by a man. He makes me feel safe and loved and cherished.
His hand moves to my stomach and gently glides under my t-shirt. I know where he’s headed and I smile to myself as I lay there with my eyes closed until he reaches his destination. The moment his hand brushes over my breast I feel the spark of electricity shoot through my entire body, like he’s just flipped a switch inside of me. My breath hitches and I moan softly. I can feel his excited body
Peyton.
Peyton would be three and a half.
I’ll never see her in a pink and purple tutu.
I’ll never see her dance on a stage.
“Savannah, are you okay? I lost you.”
“I…I’m sorry. I guess I just stared off for a minute.” I force my face to smile so that I don’t worry Rachel, and so that I don’t have to have a conversation that I desperately want to avoid at this very moment. “Sure, I’ll close up. No problem. That sounds cute. I can’t wait to see pictures tomorrow.”
“Great. Thanks so much. I really appreciate it.”
“No problem.” I walk quietly back to the bathroom and take a quick look at myself in the mirror. My face is ashen and my eyes look tired. My stomach turns slightly and I think for a minute that perhaps I’ll regret eating that French Pig panini for lunch. I take a minute to splash some water on my face and just focus on breathing in and out instead of on losing my lunch.
I make it through the end of the day and close up the salon, saying my goodbyes to Audrey and Heather, who had come in for the afternoon. I can’t get back to my apartment fast enough. My blanket is calling my name, as are my favorite oversized sweatshirt, and my thickest socks. Damn if I’m not freezing my ass off right now, which I see as a bad sign. There’s no way I don’t have a fever.
I don’t bother to stop anywhere on the way home. I just drive quickly the few blocks it takes to get there. When I enter my apartment I throw my keys on the table and head for the kitchen where I remember seeing the bottle of Advil. I grab three pills and a tall glass of water before heading to my bedroom. Grabbing a fresh towel from the pantry, I slip around the corner to the master bathroom. I always get a shower after a day at the salon. Undoubtedly, I have hair, other people’s hair, all over me, and I feel nasty if I don’t get it off of me before getting into my bed. Tonight, I’m happy to be able to stand under a scalding hot shower in hopes that something, anything, warms me up.
Unfortunately, it’s not quite the heavenly escape I was hoping for. My body aches and I’m exhausted. I’m obviously coming down with something but I can’t figure out yet what it is. Something just isn’t right, but I just want to go to sleep. I’m sure I’ll feel better in the morning. I pull on my pajamas and my thickest socks. Mom always told me when you’re cold at night, socks do the trick and she was right. I roll into bed. deciding to not watch Boston Legal . I know I’ll just sleep through it anyway, and I don’t want to miss anything. It’s lame that I’m going to bed with no supper at seven-thirty on a Wednesday night, but with any luck I’ll feel much better in the morning.
I miss Shawn.
He always took care of me when I was sick.
He would be keeping me warm right now.
Why do men always feel so warm and comfortable?
I dream of him, of his arms wrapped around me, of his kisses running down my neck that make me shiver slightly. He lies behind me, my back to his chest, holding me in his arms, gently stroking my hair as I drift in and out of sleep. The sound of his voice humming to me soothes the ache in my body as I lay happily in his arms. I’ve missed this feeling, being held by a man. He makes me feel safe and loved and cherished.
His hand moves to my stomach and gently glides under my t-shirt. I know where he’s headed and I smile to myself as I lay there with my eyes closed until he reaches his destination. The moment his hand brushes over my breast I feel the spark of electricity shoot through my entire body, like he’s just flipped a switch inside of me. My breath hitches and I moan softly. I can feel his excited body
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