Read Online Settling the Account by Shayne Parkinson - Free Book Online

them.
    ‘Well, just try and stop it, then. You won’t
do yourself any good like that.’
    ‘I didn’t want to give her away. I thought
it was for the best. I couldn’t have given her all the things she
deserves like they can. I would have loved her, though. I would
have loved her just as much as they do.’
    ‘Stop it, Amy,’ said Lizzie. ‘You’re being
silly now. Of course you couldn’t keep her. You weren’t even
married—how could you have brought up a child with no husband? It
wouldn’t have been right.’
    The note of censure that Lizzie did not
quite manage to keep out of her voice jarred on Amy. She looked at
Lizzie, a picture of matronly dignity and secure in the knowledge
that she had never done anything remotely improper in her life;
never even been tempted towards any man but her husband. Instead of
the warmth she usually felt at being near Lizzie, a surge of
resentment went through her.
    ‘I know,’ she snapped. ‘I know I wasn’t good
enough to keep her. I don’t need you telling me right from wrong.
Why don’t you just call me a whore to my face like Charlie
does?’
    ‘Amy!’ Lizzie said, visibly shocked. ‘I
didn’t mean anything like that! I was just trying to tell you that
you did the right thing by the baby.’ She put her hand on Amy’s
arm. ‘You know I’ve never thought badly of you because of what
happened. How could anyone with any sense blame you? But it would
have been wrong for you to keep the baby, you know that really. It
wouldn’t have been fair on her. You know what people are like for
talking.’
    Lizzie meant it, Amy knew; and yet she could
see that her cousin was embarrassed by the subject. There was an
innocence about Lizzie that marriage and bearing five children had
done nothing to taint.
    ‘You’re right, Lizzie. I’m sorry I bit your
head off. I suppose it’s because I’ve been worrying about Ann so
much lately, I’m not being very sensible. I appreciate all the
trouble you’ve gone to over this, really I do.’
    She rubbed her hand over her dress until she
could feel the stiffness of the folded letter through the cloth.
‘It’s hard to take it in, finding out so much about Ann after just
wondering and wondering all these years. I’ve no right to want
more, I know. I should be grateful just to know she’s safe and
happy.’
    ‘That’s right,’ Lizzie said. ‘You just think
about that, and you’ll be all right.’
    ‘But I can’t help wondering about her,’ Amy
said dreamily. ‘Especially now—I won’t keep thinking about her as a
little baby now. I can’t help wondering what it would be like to
meet her.’
    ‘Amy, you know you can’t do that,’ Lizzie
said, the sharpness in her voice snapping Amy’s attention back to
her. ‘You mustn’t even think of such a thing.’ She studied Amy
anxiously. ‘Maybe I did the wrong thing, writing to that woman. I
didn’t think you’d go getting ideas like that in your head.’
    Amy took her hand and gave it a grateful
squeeze. ‘Don’t worry, I know I can’t meet her. It’s just something
to dream about.’ She pulled out the folded sheet and studied it. ‘I
shouldn’t take this home with me. If Charlie ever found it… well,
it wouldn’t bear thinking about. He’d take it off me, too.’ She
held the letter out to Lizzie. ‘Will you look after it for me?’
    ‘If that’s what you want.’ Lizzie tucked it
into her apron pocket. ‘I’ll put it away somewhere safe, don’t you
worry.’
    ‘And I’ll be able to read it sometimes, when
I come and see you. It’s almost like having a little bit of Ann,
see? Something to hold when I want to dream about her.’ She gave
herself a little shake. ‘Dreams don’t really come true, do they?
I’m old enough to know that.’
    ‘Frank thinks they do,’ said Lizzie. ‘Of
course, Frank can be pretty silly sometimes,’ she added with a fond
smile. ‘Him and his handsome princes, and fancy dresses and
jewellery! As if I need anything more