Read Online Selby's Shemozzle by Duncan Ball - Free Book Online Page B

and I’ll pull you.’
    â€˜What was that?’ Bertha spluttered.
    â€˜Don’t let go of the leash!’ Selby cried. ‘Hang on tight! Can you do that?’
    â€˜Yes, I think I can!’ she yelled back.
    Selby crept across the log, pulling the woman alongside till she finally crawled ashore on the muddy bank.
    â€˜You’re going to be okay,’ Selby said. ‘Just rest for a minute and everything’s going to be all right.’
    It was a tired and wet dog that finally made his way home, leading a big woman behind him.

    â€˜This is it,’ Selby thought. ‘Now she knows my secret and everyone’s going to find out. Oh, well, it’s my own fault. I never should have tried to be a guide dog.’
    â€˜Bertha!’ Mrs Trifle cried. ‘What happened? You’re all muddy and wet! Your clothes are all torn! What did Selby do to you?’
    â€˜I don’t know,’ the woman said, heaving a sigh. ‘To be honest it was quite a shemozzle. He was hopeless. He almost killed me.’
    â€˜I did,’ Selby thought. ‘I guess I did. And now she’s going to reveal my secret. Maybe I should say something first.’
    Selby was just about to say, ‘Okay, so I’m a hopeless guide dog and I’m sorry about that but at least I saved her life', when suddenly Bertha spoke.
    â€˜Of course, it was all my fault,’ the woman said. ‘Fortunately a very kind man helped me to safety and, to tell the truth, I had the best adventure I’ve had for years!’
    â€˜And so did I,’ Selby thought, sighing with relief that his secret was still safe. ‘So did I.’
    Paw note: See the story ‘Selby Snowbound’ in the book
Selby Snowbound
.
    S

Dry-Mouth Drama
    â€˜Stop! Don’t eat that!’ Mrs Trifle said as she took a biscuit out of Dr Trifle’s hand.
    â€˜What’s wrong?’ Dr Trifle asked. ‘It’s just a Heavenly Munch Suga-Kreem Caramel Biscuit.’
    â€˜And it’s the very worst thing you could eat!’
    â€˜But I love Heavenly Munch Biscuits. They taste great. You make it sound like they’ve been poisoned.’
    â€˜They might as well have been. Do you know how much fat is in them?’
    Dr Trifle looked at the packet.
    â€˜It says “Fifty per cent fat-free",’ he said. ‘That means that only half of them have fat in them and the other half don’t. I’ll just pick outthe fat-free ones and throw the other ones away. Now, how can I tell which is which?’
    â€˜It doesn’t mean that at all. Fifty per cent fat-free means that half of each and every biscuit is fat. And that’s really bad for you.’
    â€˜But they’re yummy.’
    â€˜Well, you’re not having any!’ Mrs Trifle threw the packet in the rubbish and took something from the cupboard. ‘You can have one of these Nature-Good Ultra-Thin No-Fat Dry Rice Wafers — but only one.’
    â€˜But those things are terrible. They disappear when they touch your tongue. And they taste like sawdust.’
    â€˜They’re good for you. Eat one and then let’s go for a good, long power walk to burn off the calories.’
    â€˜Dr Trifle has nothing to complain about,’ Selby thought after the Trifles had gone out. ‘They’re just lucky they don’t have to eat what they feed me. Those Dry-Mouth Dog Biscuits are disgusting!’
    Selby looked at the label on a new packet of Dry-Mouth Dog Biscuits.
    â€˜â€œTen per cent sawdust-free.” I guess that’s not too bad,’ Selby thought. ‘Now hang on a tick! Ten per cent sawdust-
free
means that it’s
ninety per cent
sawdust! I might as well eat a log! What am I, a termite? I’m sure they never used to have this much sawdust in them.’
    Selby grabbed the old packet of Dry-Mouth Dog Biscuits.
    â€˜Just as I thought! This packet says that it’s
twenty per