Read Online Selby Screams by Duncan Ball - Free Book Online Page A

wears off.”
    “Have you taken some yourself?”
    “I would have taken some myself but I only ever tell the truth anyway. So it wouldn’t be much good, would it?” Dr Trifle said, blushing from ear to ear. “I’m sure it’ll work. I’ve given some to the police to use on their next suspect.”
    Suddenly the telephone rang.
    Mrs Trifle picked it up. “Yes? Yes? Yes? No. Yes. No!” she said, the way people do when they talk on the phone. “I’ll be there in a jiffy,” she added, putting down the receiver.
    “What is it, dear?” Dr Trifle asked. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
    “That was Sergeant Short. It seems that my sister, Jetty, has just been caught sneaking into the council chambers with a ladder under one arm.”
    “You mean —?”
    “Yes. He thinks she’s the globe grabber. Hurry! We’ve got to go to the town hall straight away. I can’t believe it! My own sister, a criminal! The family honour will be in tatters! I’ll never be able to show my face again.”
    “Don’t jump to conclusions. She could be completely innocent,” said Dr Trifle, also jumping to the conclusion that Aunt Jetty was guilty and jumping into the car with Mrs Trifle and Selby. “The police will try out my Blabbo. We should know if she’s guilty soon.”
    “Are you sure your Blabbo is safe?” Mrs Trifle asked as they tore through the darkened town.
    “When scientists think a new medicine is safe,” Dr Trifle said, “they try it out on animals just to be sure. So that’s what I did and so far it’s okay.”
    “You mean you gave some to a poor unsuspecting animal?”
    “Yes, so your poor unsuspecting sister should be quite okay.”
    “Hmmmmmmmm,” Selby thought as he munched on a bit of dog biscuit that had been stuck in his teeth. “I wonder what sort of poor unsuspecting animal Dr Trifle tried it out on.”
    “What sort of poor unsuspecting animal did you try it out on?” Mrs Trifle asked.
    “I put some on Selby’s dog biscuits,” Dr Trifle said, “and he seems to be okay — well at least so far.”
    “Oh, no!” Selby thought, suddenly noticing the warm feeling of the truth serum in his stomach. “Dr Trifle’s tricked me into testing his Blabbo! It’s not fair! He’s turned me into his guinea pig!”
    The car skidded to a stop in front of the town hall and the Trifles dashed inside. There, lying on the floor of the council chambers,was the whole of Bogusville’s police force, Sergeant Short and Constable Long. Standing over them with her arms folded was Aunt Jetty.
    “Jetty! What have you done to these poor men?” Mrs Trifle shrieked at her sister.
    “I didn’t lay a hand on them!” Aunt Jetty protested. “They wanted me to take some truth serum and I said no way, not till
they
took some first. So they did, and that’s when the fighting began.”
    Sergeant Short staggered to his feet and pulled Constable Long up by his shirt.
    “What did you say about my haircut, you big-nosed beanpole?” he demanded.
    “I said you looked like you lost a fight with a lawn-mower,” Constable Long answered. “You asked for the truth and you got it!”
    “That’s the last time you’ll make a nasty crack about my hair!” Sergeant Short said, giving the constable a good shake. “I’ll have you fired for insulting a superior officer.”
    “Hah! Talk about insults! What did you say about my nose?”
    “I only said it was big. Big is big, there’s nogetting around it. You asked a question and I gave a truthful answer.”
    “Gentlemen! Stop it!” Mrs Trifle said. “Stop telling the truth about each other this instant. It’s only causing problems.”
    “But we can’t help it,” Constable Long said. “That beryl-meryl-whatsis won’t let us tell even the most innocent lies.”
    “All right, sister,” Mrs Trifle said, turning to Jetty, “did you or did you not steal those light globes?”
    “Me? Steal?” Aunt Jetty said innocently. “I’m as honest as the day is long.”
    “If