does it?” When she narrowed her eyes, he continued. “But
if you’d rather it was, there’s an office in the back that we can lock
ourselves into…” She kicked him under the table to cut him off and he flashed
her another grin. Wow, two in one night. And he was being playful. Was he in a
good mood or something?
She eyed him speculatively for a minute then thought, eh,
what the hell? Maybe he could help her. Getting a male’s perspective
certainly couldn’t hurt. “Okay, so here’s the problem I’m having. My critique
partner read through my manuscript and came back with the comment that my
characters, specifically my hero, don’t have any flaws. They’re too perfect and
that makes them un-relatable.”
And as Emma had read back through her manuscript, she’d had
to admit that Jessica was right. Charles was way too cookie cutter to be
interesting. As much as she longed for a perfect, flawless man in real life,
that kind of a thing just didn’t hold up in a novel. Conflict was the key to an
intriguing plot and cast of characters, and that was what her book had sorely
been lacking between her hero and heroine. While she didn’t want them to argue
all the time—because that could be annoying as hell—they did have to have some
tension or else it would be a boring read.
Ben huffed as bitterness twisted his lips. “Character flaws,
huh? Yeah, I’m pretty sure I can help you develop some of those.”
Okaaay, that had been a loaded comment and she ached to dig
deeper into it but she knew that now was not the time. He would just shut down.
So despite her continual burning curiosity, she forged on with the topic at
hand.
“Good, because that’s what I need at the moment.” Absently
she started twirling her empty glass on the table. “My story is about a weary
vampire named Charles who had served as the hunter and executioner of criminals
of his race for centuries. He has just, for all intents and purposes, retired
from this role, done with the killing and feeling burnt-out when he moves into
a small town to get some peace and quiet.” Before she could continue, Ben
snorted and cut her off.
Being an interrupter. Definitely not a quality on her
“Charming List”.
“First off, if he’s a badass vampire don’t call him Charles.
It sounds too much like he has a stick shoved up his ass. If you’re gonna stick
with a variation on that name call him Charlie or something. Second of all,
there’s no peace in small town life. Everybody knows everybody else’s shit and
that can get real old real fast, Sugar. Especially if you’re someone like him
trying to hide your past.”
“Well, that’s what Charles, er Charlie,” she waved her hand
in the air, “comes to find out after he moves in. That maybe this move wasn’t
the smartest idea he’s ever had. He doesn’t like being around people and
because he’s the new guy he gets bombarded with curious townies that want to
know his story. He starts to get annoyed and thinks about moving again when he
meets Natalie, his neighbor. He’s drawn to her and wants to get to know her.”
And this was where her story began to get a little stale. It
was love at first sight for Charles and Natalie and without explanation or
reason, Charles dotes on her. For a—as Ben put it—badass vampire Emma had to
admit it didn’t make much sense. But she wasn’t sure what aspects to change
about him without making him and the romance between them sound corny.
As if he could read her thoughts, Ben asked her a few
unexpected yet poignant questions. “Okay, it sounds like Charlie’s kind of a
loner when the book starts. Why is that? What makes him feel more comfortable
being by himself than in the company of other people? And what is it about
Natalie that makes her the exception to that rule?”
Impressed by his intuitiveness, she leaned forward and
braced her elbows on the table. “I don’t know. You tell me.”
Again he shrugged. “If his job before this was to go
if you’d rather it was, there’s an office in the back that we can lock
ourselves into…” She kicked him under the table to cut him off and he flashed
her another grin. Wow, two in one night. And he was being playful. Was he in a
good mood or something?
She eyed him speculatively for a minute then thought, eh,
what the hell? Maybe he could help her. Getting a male’s perspective
certainly couldn’t hurt. “Okay, so here’s the problem I’m having. My critique
partner read through my manuscript and came back with the comment that my
characters, specifically my hero, don’t have any flaws. They’re too perfect and
that makes them un-relatable.”
And as Emma had read back through her manuscript, she’d had
to admit that Jessica was right. Charles was way too cookie cutter to be
interesting. As much as she longed for a perfect, flawless man in real life,
that kind of a thing just didn’t hold up in a novel. Conflict was the key to an
intriguing plot and cast of characters, and that was what her book had sorely
been lacking between her hero and heroine. While she didn’t want them to argue
all the time—because that could be annoying as hell—they did have to have some
tension or else it would be a boring read.
Ben huffed as bitterness twisted his lips. “Character flaws,
huh? Yeah, I’m pretty sure I can help you develop some of those.”
Okaaay, that had been a loaded comment and she ached to dig
deeper into it but she knew that now was not the time. He would just shut down.
So despite her continual burning curiosity, she forged on with the topic at
hand.
“Good, because that’s what I need at the moment.” Absently
she started twirling her empty glass on the table. “My story is about a weary
vampire named Charles who had served as the hunter and executioner of criminals
of his race for centuries. He has just, for all intents and purposes, retired
from this role, done with the killing and feeling burnt-out when he moves into
a small town to get some peace and quiet.” Before she could continue, Ben
snorted and cut her off.
Being an interrupter. Definitely not a quality on her
“Charming List”.
“First off, if he’s a badass vampire don’t call him Charles.
It sounds too much like he has a stick shoved up his ass. If you’re gonna stick
with a variation on that name call him Charlie or something. Second of all,
there’s no peace in small town life. Everybody knows everybody else’s shit and
that can get real old real fast, Sugar. Especially if you’re someone like him
trying to hide your past.”
“Well, that’s what Charles, er Charlie,” she waved her hand
in the air, “comes to find out after he moves in. That maybe this move wasn’t
the smartest idea he’s ever had. He doesn’t like being around people and
because he’s the new guy he gets bombarded with curious townies that want to
know his story. He starts to get annoyed and thinks about moving again when he
meets Natalie, his neighbor. He’s drawn to her and wants to get to know her.”
And this was where her story began to get a little stale. It
was love at first sight for Charles and Natalie and without explanation or
reason, Charles dotes on her. For a—as Ben put it—badass vampire Emma had to
admit it didn’t make much sense. But she wasn’t sure what aspects to change
about him without making him and the romance between them sound corny.
As if he could read her thoughts, Ben asked her a few
unexpected yet poignant questions. “Okay, it sounds like Charlie’s kind of a
loner when the book starts. Why is that? What makes him feel more comfortable
being by himself than in the company of other people? And what is it about
Natalie that makes her the exception to that rule?”
Impressed by his intuitiveness, she leaned forward and
braced her elbows on the table. “I don’t know. You tell me.”
Again he shrugged. “If his job before this was to go
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