Read Online Secrets of a D-List Supervillain by Jim Bernheimer - Free Book Online Page B

them as I was going to get. However, there was still a way forward.
    He did say that anyone could do magic. Augments? They sound like a way to cheat the system. That sounded right up my alley!
    I’d found a new hobby.
    • • •
    “I got it, but this is seriously one of your stupider ideas,” the man said, and handed me the package.
    Between the hours of making my new ManaCALes outfit, I’d spent my downtime watching video clips online about the wonderful world of beginner’s magic. Most of the video-sharing sites kept the violent and dangerous stuff to a minimum. It was the greatest hits of “watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat” and “Little Rachel performs her first spell for the coven.”
    It was a unique combination of interesting and lame at the same time. I’d printed some of the pages from spellbooks uploaded to the Internet. Almost universally, the first step was to determine your magical potential. For that, there were official testing centers, but everyone who did it at the authorized locations ended up in a database. Even though I was currently on Uncle Sam’s and Promethia’s payroll, I didn’t trust them one bit.
    There was a home testing kit you could order, but that probably ended up flagging the same database. Good thing I am well acquainted with the wrong side of the law.
    “Thanks, Bobby,” I said, and looked around the Alabama base. He’d settled in again... and it showed. “I appreciate you snagging this for me. You didn’t have any problems with the Wireless Wizard hooking you back up to VillainNet?”
    “Nah, I’m good at lying. Everyone thinks you’re down playing goody two shoes in New Orleans. So what’s this about you and Aphrodite?”
    “We’ve broken up,” I said, flatly. “It’s all, quite literally, downhill from there.”
    “But you still hit that right?”
    I sighed under his questioning and the way he broke my relationship with Stacy down to that one sentence. On one hand, it was refreshing to have someone actually interested in my comings and goings. My team, with the exception of the Six Pack and the Bugler, couldn’t really give a rat’s ass what I was up to. Mom was still the same disgruntled woman when I called her, and Dad had to walk the fine line between being proud his son is finally “doing right by the name” and not pissing his wife off. José and his clones were cool, but usually tied up with his family or one of his get rich schemes, and Bo had only put in occasional appearances while using a wheelchair until his legs healed. I did offer to trick it out for him and maybe turn him into the sonic equivalent of General Devious and her hover throne—he declined.
    “Yup,” I admitted. “Twice.”
    Hillbilly Bobby seemed very pleased with my answer. “Well, all right, then! And that thing with you and the Tornado Girl?”
    “Mind control. I killed the guy who made us do that.”
    “Shit, I woulda shook his hand,” Bobby said, clearing away the trash on the table so I could start laying out the crystals in the kit.
    “He was going to make her kill me at the end,” I said, but at the same time, I think I still would have killed Mather, even if he hadn’t mentioned it.
    The man scratched his scruffy beard and considered what I’d said. “Well, when you put it like that I guess you did the right thing. I hope you brought something to eat. I’m about sick and tired of waffles and frozen dinners!”
    “Groceries are in the van,” I said. “Mind grabbing them?”
    Part of keeping a low profile had my friend staying out of sight. It wasn’t sitting well with him.
    As I looked at the hand drawn diagrams depicting the order the crystals needed to be placed, Bobby got right to the heart of the matter.
    “Cal, I need to start going out and doing some jobs. This place is almost worse than being in prison.”
    “What? You don’t like my redecorations?” I asked, and gestured around the place.
    “I’m serious, Cal. I’m bored