yet shifted, I shouldâve soon after I was found.â
âYes.â Bastien frowned. âHow did you lose your parents?â
âIn a fire.â She didnât know much more than the basic details of that fire, her anger at her unknown parents for abandoning her a raw wound that had never healed. âI was found on the street dressed in one-piece pajamas covered in soot, the bottoms of my feet burned and bloody.
âIt was clear Iâd come from a nearby house that had gone up in flames, but while the police did discover the remains of an adult male and female who mustâve been my parentsââshe swallowedââfor some reason, those remains were never identified.â
âAh, hell.â Bastienâs exclamation was rough. âYou experienced a severely traumatic event around the same time that you were meant to complete your first shift,â he said, tucking her close. âIt mustâve fundamentally altered your development.â
It sounded right . . . yet wrong. âNo,â she whispered, a cold chill in her blood. âWhat if I
did
shift for the first time that day? So happy, so excited. Then . . . then a bad thing happened.â
Bastien stepped back, took her face in his hands again. âDo you remember?â
âNo.â All she had were lingering echoes of emotion. âBut I know thatâs what happened.â Could almost see it. âWouldnât a baby think the two events were connectedâthe shift and the fire?â Pain twisted her heart. âThe human half blamed the animal, and the animal blamed itself.â
âAnd,â Bastien said harshly, âyou had no one who understood what was going on inside you. No packmate to comfort you, reassure you it wasnât your fault.â He kissed her cheeks, her jaw, her lips.
Finding strength in the affection, she told him the rest. âThe only reason anyone knew my first name was that it was stitched into my pajamas.â Her last name, Rosario, had apparently been the name of the street where sheâd been found. âThatâs the only other piece of information I have.â
âYour adoptive parents mightââ
âI was raised in care.â Kirby didnât like to think of the seventeen long, agonizingly lonely years sheâd spent in the system, but if the truth to her present lay in her past, then she had to find the will. âI had terrible, screaming nightmares as a child.â A sympathetic social worker had given her that information after she grew old enough to wonder why she didnât have a family when other infants and toddlers were quickly adopted.
âI kept being chosen for adoption, then returned.â Like a broken machine being sent back to the warehouse for a refund. âThey finally stopped trying to place me when I was six and I spent three years in state institutions for troubled children before the nightmares fadedââas far as the world was concerned at leastââand I was cleared for the foster care system.â
Bastienâs claws threatened to release. He wanted to break something, shred those who had wounded his mate when sheâd been a small, vulnerable cub unable to fight for herself.
âI remember, you know,â she said quietly, her eyes on theground. âBeing taken by people who said they wanted me, feeling happy and hopeful, and then being brought back because I wasnât good enough.â
âBastards.â So angry he was trembling, he closed his hand around the side of her neck and pressed his lips to her temple.
Kirby lifted her hand to his hair, petting him in gentle strokes. âIt wasnât so bad, being in care. I wasnât abused or anything.â
Bastienâs leopard growled within at that unwitting indictment on her childhood. âYouâre fucking amazing, you know that?â He pressed his forehead to hers, his rage cut
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