rolled out of bed and came straight to school. After going on a days-long bender. Where’s the perpetually smiling, sparkly-eyed Rob Falls? The guy who passes me by is a veritable stranger.
So lost in the guilt I feel about what this has done to Rob, I barely notice the candy bar with a sticky note attached sitting atop my locker. Tears well in my eyes when I read the few words he wrote for me.
Proud of you.
I stare at the bar of chocolate until my vision swims. I always thought earning this reward would be a much happier occasion. Of course, I also thought I could handle being friends with Rob. That idea has backfired on so many levels it’s damn near tragic.
Jess puts a careful arm around my shoulders, eliciting a flinch that I can’t suppress. If she notices, she doesn’t say a word. She also doesn’t let go. I didn’t even register her presence at her own locker beside me. Her eyes are just as wet and full of tears as mine, her lips forming a soft, but sad smile.
“Well, I hope you’re happy with yourself, Eva. You’ve gone and ruined the most eligible bachelor in school. If he can’t get over this shit and get back on the field, we might not even make the playoffs this year.” Kerri’s voice on my other side is quiet and low, but there’s no mistaking the venom in them.
“I swear to God, one more word, and I will bitch-slap you into next week.” Jess moves around me, getting in Kerri’s face in my quick defense.
I’ve never been so grateful for her as I am in this moment. But I can’t deny the truth of Kerri’s words. I just don’t know what to do about it.
“Don’t you listen to her, Evie. She’s just jealous because no one could ever possibly love her that much.”
Kerri storms off down the hall without another word. Jess turns around to face me, wearing that guilty expression she gets when she’s done something wrong.
“Uh, sorry. I just meant, you know, since he cares about you so much that it’s harder for him.” She scrunches her face up and moves quickly back to her locker to finish packing. “Shit. I mean, because you’re friends. It’s hard on him.”
She sighs and gives up whatever it is she’s trying to say.
“It’s okay, Jess. I get it.”
She turns to look at me with wide, worried eyes. “You do?”
“Yeah. Kerri’s right. He looks terrible. I guess it’s harder for him because he remembers everything, and I don’t. It had to be traumatic for him. And I mean, Christ, he almost killed a man. Who bounces back from something like that?”
Jess gives me a weird look, then glances over my shoulder. “Uh, apparently you do.”
I jump when a slender arm wraps around my shoulders. Why is everyone fucking touching me today?
“No, she doesn’t. She’s just better at hiding it than Rob is.” Alyssa shoots me a pointed look.
I turn to meet her eyes with a carefully controlled expression that doesn’t convey the discomfort currently rolling through me . Swallowing down the panic at her touch, I forcefully remind myself that none of them know how bad it actually was. None of them know about what Jackson really did to me. Alyssa can’t possibly know all I’m hiding.
Only Rob has seen what’s under my clothes.
It’s no wonder he’s so fucked up.
***
Band practice is good. Great even. It’s a relief to get back to doing something I love, something that feels so...normal. That is until people crowd around me to welcome me back and ask me questions. Every time someone’s skin makes contact with my own, I miss Rob. Sitting next to him in Bio was better than I even imagined it would be. I could breathe easily and not be tense with the constant fear that I’m battling against.
But he’s at football practice, and I’m here. As soon as we’re done with drills, I bail to the safety of the band room. There’s only so much faking even I can do for one day.
So lost in the guilt I feel about what this has done to Rob, I barely notice the candy bar with a sticky note attached sitting atop my locker. Tears well in my eyes when I read the few words he wrote for me.
Proud of you.
I stare at the bar of chocolate until my vision swims. I always thought earning this reward would be a much happier occasion. Of course, I also thought I could handle being friends with Rob. That idea has backfired on so many levels it’s damn near tragic.
Jess puts a careful arm around my shoulders, eliciting a flinch that I can’t suppress. If she notices, she doesn’t say a word. She also doesn’t let go. I didn’t even register her presence at her own locker beside me. Her eyes are just as wet and full of tears as mine, her lips forming a soft, but sad smile.
“Well, I hope you’re happy with yourself, Eva. You’ve gone and ruined the most eligible bachelor in school. If he can’t get over this shit and get back on the field, we might not even make the playoffs this year.” Kerri’s voice on my other side is quiet and low, but there’s no mistaking the venom in them.
“I swear to God, one more word, and I will bitch-slap you into next week.” Jess moves around me, getting in Kerri’s face in my quick defense.
I’ve never been so grateful for her as I am in this moment. But I can’t deny the truth of Kerri’s words. I just don’t know what to do about it.
“Don’t you listen to her, Evie. She’s just jealous because no one could ever possibly love her that much.”
Kerri storms off down the hall without another word. Jess turns around to face me, wearing that guilty expression she gets when she’s done something wrong.
“Uh, sorry. I just meant, you know, since he cares about you so much that it’s harder for him.” She scrunches her face up and moves quickly back to her locker to finish packing. “Shit. I mean, because you’re friends. It’s hard on him.”
She sighs and gives up whatever it is she’s trying to say.
“It’s okay, Jess. I get it.”
She turns to look at me with wide, worried eyes. “You do?”
“Yeah. Kerri’s right. He looks terrible. I guess it’s harder for him because he remembers everything, and I don’t. It had to be traumatic for him. And I mean, Christ, he almost killed a man. Who bounces back from something like that?”
Jess gives me a weird look, then glances over my shoulder. “Uh, apparently you do.”
I jump when a slender arm wraps around my shoulders. Why is everyone fucking touching me today?
“No, she doesn’t. She’s just better at hiding it than Rob is.” Alyssa shoots me a pointed look.
I turn to meet her eyes with a carefully controlled expression that doesn’t convey the discomfort currently rolling through me . Swallowing down the panic at her touch, I forcefully remind myself that none of them know how bad it actually was. None of them know about what Jackson really did to me. Alyssa can’t possibly know all I’m hiding.
Only Rob has seen what’s under my clothes.
It’s no wonder he’s so fucked up.
***
Band practice is good. Great even. It’s a relief to get back to doing something I love, something that feels so...normal. That is until people crowd around me to welcome me back and ask me questions. Every time someone’s skin makes contact with my own, I miss Rob. Sitting next to him in Bio was better than I even imagined it would be. I could breathe easily and not be tense with the constant fear that I’m battling against.
But he’s at football practice, and I’m here. As soon as we’re done with drills, I bail to the safety of the band room. There’s only so much faking even I can do for one day.
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