Read Online Searching for Home (Spies of Chicago Book 1) by Jessica Keller - Free Book Online

onto her shoulders.
    James swallowed hard. In a quiet voice he added, “I’m just as lost as you are.”
    She looked at him. Her hip leaned on the side of the ship. “But you’re a man. You can travel anywhere you like alone and walk into parties without an escort. No one will think anything of you purchasing a home and living there, or going about town alone. You’re free to remain as you are.” She took a deep breath. “I am not.”
    James took her shoulders again and gave her a small shake. “Listen to you. Do you think those things make a true home? Because they don’t, not even close.”
    Ellen’s eyes narrowed. “Okay, o-great-wise-one, since you’re such the expert. What makes a home a home?”
    He ran his hands down her arms and took hold of her hands. “A home isn’t a building or a place to store your treasured goods. It’s wherever someone cares about you and will miss you if you’re away.”
    She released his hands and looked back at the black, churning water. “I’ll settle for a roof over my head.”
    “No. You’re worth more than that. Don’t you see?” James reached for her again, but she held up a hand to stop him.
    “Can you leave me alone, just for a moment?”
    “I don’t think that’s the best idea.” He pulled out his handkerchief and gave it to her, closing her fingers around the fabric. His heart pounded like a hyper hummingbird, but she needed to hear what he was thinking. “I believe you deserve to be treasured.”
    “Please, James. I just want to be alone. I’ll wander back to the front deck in a minute. I promise.”
    Her eyes pleaded with him to understand. Full of moisture, they sparkled in the moonlight. James chided himself for speaking such harsh words to her. He had accused and disturbed her.
    The least he could do was leave her in peace when she asked.
    ***
    Ellen took four deep breaths to keep the tears at bay. James walked away with his hands tucked in his pockets. He kept looking back at her like she might break and need him so she bit her lip against the tremor of tears. When he disappeared she palmed her face.
    “Stupid, stupid.” She dabbed with his handkerchief, pressed it to her nose, and closed her eyes. The smell of Clubman aftershave lotion with its sweet hints of citrus, jasmine, and heady musk mixed with a strong cedar scent from the chest he stored his traveling clothes in. James . Dependable. Always there for her, James.
    I believe you deserve to be treasured .
    Tears clouded her vision again.
    When she married, she’d have to leave him. Their friendship wouldn’t continue. She wouldn’t tease him and trounce him at chess every morning. He wouldn’t be able yank her away alone, escort her, or set her straight ever again.
    But no other choice remained. She and James could never live together. The impropriety made heat rise up her neck, battling the chill in the air. She once hoped Lewis might set up house and invite her to live with him. But Lewis didn’t want her. He’d left her.
    And James would, too. He’d fall for a girl one day and she’d love all his weird quirks, brooding moods, and the long mulling he took making any sort of decision. She wouldn’t vex him or cause him worry as Ellen often did. She wouldn’t ever shame him.
    I’m just as lost as you are.
    Quick footfalls behind her made her skin prickle. She spun around. “I told you I’d come back in a min—”
    But the hooded figure charging toward her wasn’t James. The person’s hands clamped around her upper arms. A smell of fish and cigar smoke rolled off their cloak, turning Ellen’s stomach and stifling the scream upon her lips. In the moon shadows and with the hood yanked to the person’s nose, she couldn’t discern who it was.
    A hand fastened hard over her mouth. “Who thought you’d be so easy to get rid of? You won’t ever thwart our plans again.”
    With a firm shove and brute-like strength, the figure tipped her over the edge of the boat. Like Alice in