Read Online Searching for Beautiful by Nyrae Dawn - Free Book Online

something that holds a special memory from the past. Mom’s parents are super wealthy, which is cool and all, but they’re the type who try to buy your love rather than earn it. They didn’t help her find “her thing” the way she was determined to help me find pottery. Didn’t dance with her or watch her make pottery for hours, like she did with me. Dad said a couple years after I was adopted, Mom made the memory gift rule because she always wanted to make sure gifts were about love and not just materialistic things.
    “Well, it is my fault you had to get rid of the first pair.” She chuckles. “Let’s try not to carry these around with you this time.”
    I swat her arm when she sits beside me. “I was four. ”
    “When you got them. Not when I finally made you toss them, even though you said you’d never forgive me.”
    A smile spreads across my lips. “Well, I guess I’ll forgive you now.”
    When I was four, I got my first pair of bunny slippers and I loved them. Some kids carry a blanket or a stuffed animal. Me, I carried my bunnies. I’d been brokenhearted when she finally told me I was too old to carry around slippers I’d outgrown.
    “You better.” Mom stands. “Now hurry up. I can only hold off your father for so long. He’s going to jump into the rest of the gifts without us.”
    She gets to the door before I speak. “Thank you. This is my favorite memory gift I’ve ever gotten.”
    Mom blows a kiss. “And getting you was the best gift your father and I will ever have.”
    Me. I’m special to someone as cool as her. It makes me the luckiest girl in the world.

Chapter Fourteen
    Now
    I flip through the channels, not really paying much attention to what flashes across the screen. I’ve never been much of a TV person, but now, at least it’s something to do. Doesn’t seem to make it more interesting, so I just keep going through the stations, over and over like I actually care what pops up on the screen.
    Depression sucks. I want it to be over already.
    I wiggle my toes in my bunny slippers. This time, I’ll never get rid of them. It’s so funny how I hadn’t thought about my slippers in so many years, until she gave me the memory gift again. She just seemed to know stuff like that. That’s how Mom was. Dad called her beautiful, but he always said he loved her for her heart. Because of how beautiful she was inside.
    I can’t imagine what that feels like. To be loved by a boy with the devotion that he loved her.
    “Ugh!” I punch a couch pillow a couple times before throwing it to the floor. I’m driving myself crazy. Mom wouldn’t have folded as easily as I am. As easily as Dad is, because though he’s still here and hasn’t done anything as stupid as I did, I’m pretty sure he’s broken now, too.
    Glancing at the clock, I see it’s about five. I know Dad will be home soon and I also know I’m supposed to be at the stupid community center today. A teen outreach program. When did that ever become me? I was the normal girl, the happy one with the awesome parents. I’m not supposed to need any kind of outreach.
    But I do.
    I kick off my slippers and push my feet into my shoes. It’s a quick drive to the community center. The whole time, my stomach hurts. I wish I was one of those girls who could just say screw it. That I was tough and didn’t give a crap about anyone or what they thought. That I could say no without worrying about getting in trouble over it, but I’m not that girl.
    I’m not saying I’m perfect, but I’m definitely not used to getting into trouble, either. The only time I did what I wanted was with Jason, and look how that turned out.
    I bite my fingernails as I walk in the door. It’s a huge room with a few people my age in it. There are chairs around the walls and a few long tables. A couch and TV. Even a pool table and air hockey.
    I see a couple hallways and rooms. Posters and pictures of kids I assume come here are plastered to the wall.
    It’s