Read Online Screw Loose by Chris Wheat - Free Book Online Page A

was taut.
    â€˜He warns me when I’m doing dingo stuff to act human.
    But he’s proud I’m the Dingo Girl. Only one of my breed in Australia.’ She was getting excited. ‘He’s got reddish-brown hair like an Irish setter.’
    Beer spurted out of his father’s mouth.
    â€˜This girl at my school wants him to be her boyfriend, but I got him first.’
    â€˜Chelsea!’ Khiem laughed.
    Matilda was smiling broadly. ‘His name’s Craig,’ she announced to Australia, ‘and he’s got a gi-normous tongue.’
    Craig’s father howled. Craig curled himself into the foetal position.
    â€˜It’s okay,’ he could hear Khiem saying.
    But it really wasn’t.

JUST LIKE
THE PERSON
SITTING
NEXT TO YOU
    I T WAS A COLD July morning and Georgia Delahunty was sitting with all the other Vistaview students waiting for Darryl Dunn to address the school assembly. This was held on the first Monday of each month. Chelsea Dean, abhorrent little style empress, was fidgeting beside her.
    Georgia’s eyes wandered to the school’s crest suspended above the stage. Vistaview Secondary College was written in large blue lettering, and below it was a shield divided by a river.
    A computer sat on one bank and a stop sign on the other, symbolising information technology and driver education.
    Below the crest, in an undulating banner, was the school’s motto: Strive, thrive and get ahead .
    The best way for Georgia to embrace the school’s creed would be to leave it. She couldn’t wait for her Mary Magdalene interview next week.
    â€˜Complete shoosh, Vistaviewers! Quiet now!’
    She sighed. Here we go. With a bit of luck, this would be her last assembly at Vistaview.
    Darryl Dunn stood at the microphone dressed in a darkblue suit, his thinning hair in a gelled comb-over, the stage lights reflected in his glasses. He peered down at his school benevolently as the babble subsided to one isolated explosion of Year 10 laughter, which faded swiftly to a self-conscious silence. Around the walls, the staff stood like chained Rottweilers, ready to attack.
    Georgia shut her eyes. Of course she could still fulfil her parents’ pleas: choose India over Mary Magdalene. All she’d need to do was hop on a plane, and in no time she’d be in New Delhi. From there they’d motor to the Fort. There would be servants, a swimming pool and her own elephant. It was tempting. Might she just leave her aunt and uncle to their prayers, wrap herself in a sari and become a Hindu? Or should she stay here in Australia, play hockey and look for a girlfriend at Mary Magdalene?
    Darryl cleared his throat. ‘A breathless hush in the close tonight, ten to make and the last man in.’ His eyes moved slowly around the assembly hall. ‘Sir Henry Newbolt!’ There were quiet groans from some Year 12 students, and some of the Rottweilers stirred. ‘I’m sure your English teachers will explain the significance of that quotation.’
    Georgia shot a look at her English teacher, Phillip Ireland, a middle-aged man with an Afro, who was leaning against the wall. He looked confused.
    â€˜It’s a fine morning, and our school motto tells us to thrive, strive and get ahead . I hope this is what is uppermost in your minds right now.’
    Silence.
    â€˜This morning I have an unpleasantness, a celebration, some good news from the SRC , and I want to tell you about a very special week we have coming up.’
    â€˜Get on with it!’ Chelsea whispered.
    â€˜The unpleasantness first. What is black? Some boys and some girls have been wearing trousers that are not true black!
    To rectify this, I have issued all staff with a black card. If your trousers do not match the black on this card, you will be sent home. We will not truck with shades of black! When I was your age, the Rolling Stones used to say that black was black and they wanted their baby back. In this