Read Online Mourning Glory by Warren Adler - Free Book Online

the case with Jason. The dentist, who had not been Jewish, was
circumcised. As for her penile preference, it was a toss-up, although she did
have a brief experience with a bent erection, which had been a definite
turnoff. But that would be the luck of the draw.
    A healthy interest in sex, of course, feigned or real,
would be an essential part of the package she would bring with her, aside from
companionship, devotion and faithfulness, a sense of humor and, of course,
keeping herself as attractive, well-groomed and as interesting as possible,
presenting herself in a way that would make the man proud of her. She would be
cooperative but not servile. Above all, her dignity must remain intact. In
every way, she would try to remake herself into a trophy wife. In public she
would present herself as an elegant, enviable asset. In private a great lay.
    She would subscribe to the daily New York Times and
the news magazines, become conversant with the computer and the Internet, watch Lehrer and PBS, keep up with politics, read all the best-sellers, see
all the latest plays, concerts and movies and generally enhance her knowledge
of the world around her and thereby increase her ability to discuss things of
importance. She would learn how to be a great hostess, take courses in art,
learn French, take up golf or tennis, support every appropriate philanthropy
and participate in all activities in which her mate required her presence.
    She was surprised at the absolute candor and raw honesty of
her thoughts. There was no point in self-delusion. If she were to take this
road, she had to be fully provisioned for the journey, without cant or wishful
distortion. Was she ready for such a commitment? And if so, did she have the courage
and equipment to pursue it?
    When she returned to her sense of place, the coffin was
being wheeled down the aisle toward the exit, followed by the grieving
relatives. She realized that in reading the obituary notices she would have to
pay particular attention to the age of the spouse. Eighties and nineties would
have to be screened out, even if it required some telephone calls or advance
visits to the funeral parlors.
    "What a wonderful person," the woman next to her
said as Grace filed out and followed the flow of the crowd to the back of the
chapel.
    As research, Grace decided, this was a very profitable
experience. Not that she had fully decided to pursue this course of action. She
would hate to be beholden to Mrs. Burns on any matter. Besides, such a course
would take a massive effort of time, total focus and commitment. And if she put
all her energy and resources behind the process there would be no assurance of
success. In fact, this would have to be her full-time job.
    The check that Mrs. Burns had given her coupled with the
unemployment proceeds would barely be enough to carry her forward for more than
a few months. She would come up short week after week, which would mean she
would be under the pressure of time, under the gun. It might mean, too, that
she would have to take a job and pursue this enterprise on the side.
    The prospect was certainly daunting. Did she have what it
took? She went over in her mind the qualities that she would have to muster:
cunning, courage, restraint and discipline. Then there was the matter of
hypocrisy, craft and the various arts of dissimulation and the telling of
outright lies, which might be required to present a proper facade and inspire
an emotional connection in the man.
    These later qualities were those that she had never
considered possessing or even developing. They were not part of her frame of
reference. She had never been a good liar. Ironically, she was encouraged by
this new way of thinking. For the first time in her life, she was actually
setting goals for herself, plotting the tactics and strategies to reach them,
like a general preparing to make the crucial assault and take the objective.
    She waited in the shade of the building while the men with
the armbands