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Authors: Shari J. Ryan
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them.”
My mind is twisting into knots. Why don’t I remember this? Him? Her?
I press him for more. “What else?”
“You and I spent time together every day one summer until your mom took you to a special doctor. You never came to visit again after that.” He looks away from me and out into the water. I see pain in his eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Alex,” I say. My hand moves to his shoulder. It looks so small on him.
He turns to face me and takes both of my hands in his. “I waited for you day after day, but you never came back. I even went looking for you…I found you once. But when we saw each other, you didn’t recognize me.” His hands squeeze mine. “My only guess was that your doctor did something to make you forget.”
I can’t bring myself to look at the pain in his eyes—the pain that I caused and was completely unaware of. I keep my eyes focused on his knuckles. “I don’t remember any special doctor, either.”
He releases one of my hands and cups his hand under my chin, lifting my face to look at him. The delicious smell of sunscreen and salt waft from his skin. His scent makes me weak. “Chloe, I lost my best friend that day. I never forgot about you or our friendship. I just never expected it would be twelve years before I would get to talk to you again.” The pain in his voice fades as he continues talking. “When you started to reappear on this beach, I didn’t know how you would react to me making contact with you after such a long time. I didn’t even know if you would remember me.”
How could I have just forgotten about him when all I want to do is be near him?
“I would never purposely forget about you,” I say.
He nods. “I know. I tested the waters a few times and walked right by you. I even tried to get in your way on purpose, so you’d have no choice but to look at me. The only thing I accomplished was making an idiot out of myself. You never looked at me.” He laughs.
“I didn’t look…at you ?” I look him up and down. “Clearly, I didn’t see you.”
His cheeks redden and he drops his gaze. “After trying and failing more than a few times, I made the decision it would be best if I kept my distance and didn’t complicate your life further.” He looks back at me with a determined glint in his eyes. “That was only until I saw you drowning.”
“Wait, so you didn’t really save me because I was an attractive girl like you told me?” I ask, knocking my elbow against his. “I’m crushed, Alex.”
He laughs. “Oh please.” His fingertips brush over my cheek. “I looked at the attractive girl before I realized it was you. Once I saw it was you, I panicked and dove into the water to save you.”
I want to laugh, but I still have so many unanswered questions that are eating away at me. “I don’t understand how I could just forget about our entire friendship…it seems too important to just lose.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t know how you forgot about me so easily, Chloe. All I know is that it hurt like hell.” The pain appears in his eyes again. My head is spinning, trying to work this all out and make sense of it.
“Honestly, it’s a little unsettling you’ve been watching me all this time. I had a stalker and I never even knew it.” I meant for this to sound more like a joke than it came out. But I need to know what I’m dealing with here. My heart is already involved in this, and I don’t want to get hurt any more than I want to hurt him. But I also can’t just accept that a random guy has told me my memory of him—of us —has been erased.
He stands up and brushes the sand from his wetsuit. I’ve upset him…I can tell. If he’s speaking the truth and I just questioned it, then I can’t blame him. But how am I supposed to know what’s true and what isn’t anymore? “I have no way to prove anything to you right now,” he says curtly, his voice sounding brittle. “I just need you to believe me, I guess.”
This is killing
My mind is twisting into knots. Why don’t I remember this? Him? Her?
I press him for more. “What else?”
“You and I spent time together every day one summer until your mom took you to a special doctor. You never came to visit again after that.” He looks away from me and out into the water. I see pain in his eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Alex,” I say. My hand moves to his shoulder. It looks so small on him.
He turns to face me and takes both of my hands in his. “I waited for you day after day, but you never came back. I even went looking for you…I found you once. But when we saw each other, you didn’t recognize me.” His hands squeeze mine. “My only guess was that your doctor did something to make you forget.”
I can’t bring myself to look at the pain in his eyes—the pain that I caused and was completely unaware of. I keep my eyes focused on his knuckles. “I don’t remember any special doctor, either.”
He releases one of my hands and cups his hand under my chin, lifting my face to look at him. The delicious smell of sunscreen and salt waft from his skin. His scent makes me weak. “Chloe, I lost my best friend that day. I never forgot about you or our friendship. I just never expected it would be twelve years before I would get to talk to you again.” The pain in his voice fades as he continues talking. “When you started to reappear on this beach, I didn’t know how you would react to me making contact with you after such a long time. I didn’t even know if you would remember me.”
How could I have just forgotten about him when all I want to do is be near him?
“I would never purposely forget about you,” I say.
He nods. “I know. I tested the waters a few times and walked right by you. I even tried to get in your way on purpose, so you’d have no choice but to look at me. The only thing I accomplished was making an idiot out of myself. You never looked at me.” He laughs.
“I didn’t look…at you ?” I look him up and down. “Clearly, I didn’t see you.”
His cheeks redden and he drops his gaze. “After trying and failing more than a few times, I made the decision it would be best if I kept my distance and didn’t complicate your life further.” He looks back at me with a determined glint in his eyes. “That was only until I saw you drowning.”
“Wait, so you didn’t really save me because I was an attractive girl like you told me?” I ask, knocking my elbow against his. “I’m crushed, Alex.”
He laughs. “Oh please.” His fingertips brush over my cheek. “I looked at the attractive girl before I realized it was you. Once I saw it was you, I panicked and dove into the water to save you.”
I want to laugh, but I still have so many unanswered questions that are eating away at me. “I don’t understand how I could just forget about our entire friendship…it seems too important to just lose.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t know how you forgot about me so easily, Chloe. All I know is that it hurt like hell.” The pain appears in his eyes again. My head is spinning, trying to work this all out and make sense of it.
“Honestly, it’s a little unsettling you’ve been watching me all this time. I had a stalker and I never even knew it.” I meant for this to sound more like a joke than it came out. But I need to know what I’m dealing with here. My heart is already involved in this, and I don’t want to get hurt any more than I want to hurt him. But I also can’t just accept that a random guy has told me my memory of him—of us —has been erased.
He stands up and brushes the sand from his wetsuit. I’ve upset him…I can tell. If he’s speaking the truth and I just questioned it, then I can’t blame him. But how am I supposed to know what’s true and what isn’t anymore? “I have no way to prove anything to you right now,” he says curtly, his voice sounding brittle. “I just need you to believe me, I guess.”
This is killing
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