prune,
unwilling to face whatever would come next. I kept expecting him to bark an
order at me to get out, but he didn’t. He stayed quiet.
Finally
I shut off the water, reluctant to turn and face him. Then the towel was
placed over my shoulders, and I took it from him, pulling it around me and
rubbing it against my skin. “Thanks,” came out of my mouth without even
thinking about it. I silently cursed myself. I didn’t want to thank him for
anything.
“You’re
welcome.” Then, “Are you hungry?”
I
shook my head which was still hanging down, staring at the floor. That hunger from
earlier was gone, much like the girl from earlier who fought. She was gone as
well. I hung the towel on the rail, knowing that he wouldn’t let me take it
with me. Though I needed it, I needed something to protect me. I longed for the
blanket on the bed, and that’s where I headed when he moved out of the doorway.
I
crawled under that hideous blanket like it was the most-coveted thing in the
world, and I hugged it to my body like it was a teddy bear as I lay on my side
facing the wall. All of me was sore, but my mind was too numb to register
anything properly. I waited there, waiting for the light to go out and door to
close, but neither happened. I felt a dip on the bed as he sat beside me, then
something cold was pressed against my eye. I flinched, turning onto my back in
surprise.
“It’s
ice. It’ll help with the swelling.”
I
lifted my hands to hold the ice pack in place as he released it and leaned back
slightly. We both stayed like that in silence before he asked, “Is your body
sore?”
I
nodded.
His
hand reached out and touched my breast. “Here?”
I
squeezed my eyes shut, and nodded again. He started to rub across my flesh that
was striped from his belt. To my surprise, it felt good and soothing, and the
pain subsided with the rubbing motion. Part of me wanted to look at him, but
the more sane part of me didn’t dare interrupt this bit of kindness.
“Is
that better?” he asked softly. Eyes still shut, I nodded. The soothing motion
on my breast continued while I gently felt the softness of his tongue on my
other nipple. My eyes opened in surprise and I watched him wordlessly, barely
daring to breathe, as he gently licked at my nipple. The soreness subsided
under the pressure. He went on like that, alternating between breasts and
always gently rubbing the one neglected by his tongue.
Then
he raised his head and looked at me. “Here too?” His hand had moved down to the
sensitive flesh between my legs that had been abused by his belt. Wide eyed, I
nodded. He rubbed down there, his eyes firmly entrained on me. I felt myself
blush under his gaze and shifted my eyes toward the ceiling. And when he moved
down my body, I bit the side of my lip that hadn’t been mangled by my teeth
earlier. The first swipe of his tongue made me gasp and bite my lip harder.
When he lifted my leg over his shoulder, I didn’t protest. I squeezed my eyes
shut again and hated the unevenness of my breathing as the licking turned into
sucking, and he drew me into his mouth. A whimper escaped me before I firmly
clamped my mouth shut. I shook my head violently in denial as I felt myself
building up, but it didn’t stop me coming. I was silent, but he knew, how could
he not?
He
removed his mouth from me, and I turned to my side, away from him. Hot, silent
tears streamed down my face in disbelief. I brought my hands up to my face to
hide in them. I waited for terrible words to spew from his mouth. I waited for
him to call me the whore that he knew that I was.
But
all he said was, “Goodnight, Rachel.” There was movement on the bed and then
the light was flicked off, and the door shut. The bolt slammed into place.
Chapter Twelve
“ The
religious crap that my parents spouted and beat me with is haunting me. My
whole life I rebelled and ran from it, despising their ignorance and cruelty
that they justified through their
unwilling to face whatever would come next. I kept expecting him to bark an
order at me to get out, but he didn’t. He stayed quiet.
Finally
I shut off the water, reluctant to turn and face him. Then the towel was
placed over my shoulders, and I took it from him, pulling it around me and
rubbing it against my skin. “Thanks,” came out of my mouth without even
thinking about it. I silently cursed myself. I didn’t want to thank him for
anything.
“You’re
welcome.” Then, “Are you hungry?”
I
shook my head which was still hanging down, staring at the floor. That hunger from
earlier was gone, much like the girl from earlier who fought. She was gone as
well. I hung the towel on the rail, knowing that he wouldn’t let me take it
with me. Though I needed it, I needed something to protect me. I longed for the
blanket on the bed, and that’s where I headed when he moved out of the doorway.
I
crawled under that hideous blanket like it was the most-coveted thing in the
world, and I hugged it to my body like it was a teddy bear as I lay on my side
facing the wall. All of me was sore, but my mind was too numb to register
anything properly. I waited there, waiting for the light to go out and door to
close, but neither happened. I felt a dip on the bed as he sat beside me, then
something cold was pressed against my eye. I flinched, turning onto my back in
surprise.
“It’s
ice. It’ll help with the swelling.”
I
lifted my hands to hold the ice pack in place as he released it and leaned back
slightly. We both stayed like that in silence before he asked, “Is your body
sore?”
I
nodded.
His
hand reached out and touched my breast. “Here?”
I
squeezed my eyes shut, and nodded again. He started to rub across my flesh that
was striped from his belt. To my surprise, it felt good and soothing, and the
pain subsided with the rubbing motion. Part of me wanted to look at him, but
the more sane part of me didn’t dare interrupt this bit of kindness.
“Is
that better?” he asked softly. Eyes still shut, I nodded. The soothing motion
on my breast continued while I gently felt the softness of his tongue on my
other nipple. My eyes opened in surprise and I watched him wordlessly, barely
daring to breathe, as he gently licked at my nipple. The soreness subsided
under the pressure. He went on like that, alternating between breasts and
always gently rubbing the one neglected by his tongue.
Then
he raised his head and looked at me. “Here too?” His hand had moved down to the
sensitive flesh between my legs that had been abused by his belt. Wide eyed, I
nodded. He rubbed down there, his eyes firmly entrained on me. I felt myself
blush under his gaze and shifted my eyes toward the ceiling. And when he moved
down my body, I bit the side of my lip that hadn’t been mangled by my teeth
earlier. The first swipe of his tongue made me gasp and bite my lip harder.
When he lifted my leg over his shoulder, I didn’t protest. I squeezed my eyes
shut again and hated the unevenness of my breathing as the licking turned into
sucking, and he drew me into his mouth. A whimper escaped me before I firmly
clamped my mouth shut. I shook my head violently in denial as I felt myself
building up, but it didn’t stop me coming. I was silent, but he knew, how could
he not?
He
removed his mouth from me, and I turned to my side, away from him. Hot, silent
tears streamed down my face in disbelief. I brought my hands up to my face to
hide in them. I waited for terrible words to spew from his mouth. I waited for
him to call me the whore that he knew that I was.
But
all he said was, “Goodnight, Rachel.” There was movement on the bed and then
the light was flicked off, and the door shut. The bolt slammed into place.
Chapter Twelve
“ The
religious crap that my parents spouted and beat me with is haunting me. My
whole life I rebelled and ran from it, despising their ignorance and cruelty
that they justified through their
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