Read Online Saving Nathaniel by Jillian Brookes-Ward - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Jillian Brookes-Ward
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his senses. He sagged against the worktop and looked around the empty room as it screamed her absence.
' Oh shit, what have I done? She's gone! Meg's gone! Shit...shit…! Get her back you bloody fool! Get her back!'
He yanked open the door and as fast as the deep gravel and his stockinged feet would allow, ran along the path to find her. 'Meg!' he yelled. 'STOP!'
She was already standing by her car, rooting in her bag for her keys. He reached her and grabbed her by her arm. 'Please, Meg, don't go. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry.'
'It's too late for being sorry, Nat. You've gone too far this time.' She shrugged his hand away and pulled the keys from her bag, tears of frustration perilously close.
'Come back inside, Meg.'
'No.'
'Please…don't go,' he said. 'Come back inside, let's talk about this.'
'There's no point, you won't listen. You never listen.'
'I will, I promise. Please, Meg?'
'You've made a lot of promises, Nat, but you don't keep any of them. I don't think you know how.'
'I will this time, you have my word.'
'I don't believe you.'
She selected a key and offered it to the lock. It slid home and she turned it. As she withdrew it, the tremor in her hand caused the keyring to slip from her grip and fall into the gravel. He quickly bent and picked it up. 'Please, come back inside with me,' he said.
'Give me the keys, please.'
'Not until you agree to come back inside with me.'
'No.'
'Why, Meg?'
'Because I've had enough. I was wrong. I made a mistake. I thought I could handle being here, handle you. I thought I was strong enough, but I'm not. You've beaten me. You win.'
'Don't say that…I don't want you to leave…I'm really sorry.'
For a brief moment, she thought he meant it. When it passed, she held out her hand for the keys. 'Don't say what you don't mean, Nat. Please give me the keys.'
He cupped her open hand with his and dropped the keys onto her palm, closing her fingers over them and holding her hand tightly enclosed within his own. The warmth of his skin against hers ruptured her resolve and it crumbled. Still, she let her eyes wander anywhere except his face.
'I don't want you to go, Meg. I was wrong and I am sorry. Please…won't you even look at me?' His voice had taken on a softer note and touched her with its sensitivity.
Finally, she forced herself to look at him and could see, this time, he was telling the truth.
'Please, Meg, let's go inside. It's cold out here...' He looked down at his feet, wiggling his toes. 'And I haven't got any shoes on.'
He had already put his arm around her shoulder and was slowly, step by step, leading her back to the house. Against her better judgement, she allowed him to do it.
He led her into the kitchen and sat her at the table. Their rôles were now reversed and he found himself making the comforting cup of tea.
She sat with her head bowed. 'I've been worried sick these last few weeks,' she said. 'You've been driving yourself into the ground and I've not been able to do a damned thing about it.' Her voice cracked and she put her hand to her mouth to cover her distress. Over it, her large, moist eyes gave her away. Nat tore a piece of kitchen towel from a roll on the wall and handed it to her. She dabbed her leaking eyes with it.
'Every morning I've been coming in here with my heart in my mouth,' she said. 'I was dreading what I might find, always afraid that something might have happened to you. I was scared, Nat.'
He remembered what she had told him about her father; 'I found him in his bed one morning… he'd died in the night…in his sleep… we didn't even get to say goodbye...'
'I had no idea I'd made things so dreadful for you, Meg,' he said, gently. 'I didn't mean to.'
She slapped her palms flat on the tabletop, needing to emphasise her point. 'It's not about me , Nat, it's about you . You're making yourself ill, but you just won't see it.'
He laid his hands over hers. 'I can't believe I've been so selfish. I'm so sorry.'
She fell back
' Oh shit, what have I done? She's gone! Meg's gone! Shit...shit…! Get her back you bloody fool! Get her back!'
He yanked open the door and as fast as the deep gravel and his stockinged feet would allow, ran along the path to find her. 'Meg!' he yelled. 'STOP!'
She was already standing by her car, rooting in her bag for her keys. He reached her and grabbed her by her arm. 'Please, Meg, don't go. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry.'
'It's too late for being sorry, Nat. You've gone too far this time.' She shrugged his hand away and pulled the keys from her bag, tears of frustration perilously close.
'Come back inside, Meg.'
'No.'
'Please…don't go,' he said. 'Come back inside, let's talk about this.'
'There's no point, you won't listen. You never listen.'
'I will, I promise. Please, Meg?'
'You've made a lot of promises, Nat, but you don't keep any of them. I don't think you know how.'
'I will this time, you have my word.'
'I don't believe you.'
She selected a key and offered it to the lock. It slid home and she turned it. As she withdrew it, the tremor in her hand caused the keyring to slip from her grip and fall into the gravel. He quickly bent and picked it up. 'Please, come back inside with me,' he said.
'Give me the keys, please.'
'Not until you agree to come back inside with me.'
'No.'
'Why, Meg?'
'Because I've had enough. I was wrong. I made a mistake. I thought I could handle being here, handle you. I thought I was strong enough, but I'm not. You've beaten me. You win.'
'Don't say that…I don't want you to leave…I'm really sorry.'
For a brief moment, she thought he meant it. When it passed, she held out her hand for the keys. 'Don't say what you don't mean, Nat. Please give me the keys.'
He cupped her open hand with his and dropped the keys onto her palm, closing her fingers over them and holding her hand tightly enclosed within his own. The warmth of his skin against hers ruptured her resolve and it crumbled. Still, she let her eyes wander anywhere except his face.
'I don't want you to go, Meg. I was wrong and I am sorry. Please…won't you even look at me?' His voice had taken on a softer note and touched her with its sensitivity.
Finally, she forced herself to look at him and could see, this time, he was telling the truth.
'Please, Meg, let's go inside. It's cold out here...' He looked down at his feet, wiggling his toes. 'And I haven't got any shoes on.'
He had already put his arm around her shoulder and was slowly, step by step, leading her back to the house. Against her better judgement, she allowed him to do it.
He led her into the kitchen and sat her at the table. Their rôles were now reversed and he found himself making the comforting cup of tea.
She sat with her head bowed. 'I've been worried sick these last few weeks,' she said. 'You've been driving yourself into the ground and I've not been able to do a damned thing about it.' Her voice cracked and she put her hand to her mouth to cover her distress. Over it, her large, moist eyes gave her away. Nat tore a piece of kitchen towel from a roll on the wall and handed it to her. She dabbed her leaking eyes with it.
'Every morning I've been coming in here with my heart in my mouth,' she said. 'I was dreading what I might find, always afraid that something might have happened to you. I was scared, Nat.'
He remembered what she had told him about her father; 'I found him in his bed one morning… he'd died in the night…in his sleep… we didn't even get to say goodbye...'
'I had no idea I'd made things so dreadful for you, Meg,' he said, gently. 'I didn't mean to.'
She slapped her palms flat on the tabletop, needing to emphasise her point. 'It's not about me , Nat, it's about you . You're making yourself ill, but you just won't see it.'
He laid his hands over hers. 'I can't believe I've been so selfish. I'm so sorry.'
She fell back
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