wand and fix someone else’s problems I’d do it. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way. I know first -hand the only person that can really change you is yourself.” Other people helped. Mum found me a good bereavement counsellor when she was training but I was the one that had to do the hard, painful work.
“You really have grown, Kai.”
“Does this mean you’ll back off a bit?”
She pursed her lips. “Umm, probably not. You’re my little brother , and I love you.”
“I love you , too, but I’m twenty-one now. You need to trust that I know what I’m doing, in my life and with Tegan.”
“I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“Not lookin’ to get hurt. We’re friends, Elle, that’s all she can do right now anyway.” Fuck trying to have a relationship and thinking about another person when you could barely get up out of bed. Factoring someone else into your life when you were barely living was never a good idea. I could handle it now, Tegan couldn’t.
“ So, what are you doing with her?” Elle asked.
Sex. Bike sex. Bed sex. Car sex. Bathroom stall sex. Table sex. Shower sex.
I shrugged. “Just hangin’ out.”
She arched her eyebrow, completely unconvinced. I grinned.
“Oh, come on, you expect me to believe you’re just friends?”
“Elle, I don’t expect you to believe anything. I’ve got to be somewhere in half an hour, did you want something else?”
“Where do you have to be?”
Nosey bitch.
“Gettin’ a new tattoo.”
“Another one? You barely have any room left as it is.”
I had most of my chest, my right forearm and legs left. Plenty of room. “Havin’ some birds put on Isaac’s arm.”
My upper right arm was all about the little brother I adored. Things that reminded me of him were right there, clocks with the time he was born and morbidly, the time he died, dog tags that matched the ones hanging around my neck, and his name hidden in there, all blended together with waves of the ocean and clouds of the sky. The whole thing was black and grey and I knew he’d love it. But it needed birds. There weren’t many mornings that I didn’t wake up to a foam gliding bird flying across my room or littered on my floor.
“I hated those bloody things.”
So did I. He refused the plane ones unless they were army planes, which they often weren’t. Birds were cool though, apparently.
“Okay, I’ll let you get on then,” she said, standing up. “If you ever need anything…”
“Yeah, you, too.”
Time to add to Isaac’s little mural on my arm. I missed him so much I felt sick, but the tattoos made me feel close to him. I needed that.
Chapter Thirteen
Lucas
I watched as she left me as fast as she could again, slamming the car door hard behind her. I didn’t know what to do, she was a complete head-fuck and I was losing my mind trying to figure her out. I made her feel something but she wanted nothing to do with me.
It made no sense at all.
I think I’d prefer her to not like me and not want to be with me. I stormed off back in the house, in the pissiest mood I’d been in in a long time, and went up to my room. Fuck sake, what the fuck was going on? Gritting my teeth, I saw red and slammed my fist into the wall. For the first time I wished my dad would’ve cut corners when he had the house made seven years ago and put up plasterboard instead of using concrete blocks. My hand throbbed and blood seeped from the knuckles. Perfect.
Shaking it off, I sat on the end of the bed and tried to flex my fingers. Thank God , I could, nothing was broken. I hadn’t punched a wall since… Actually, I’d never punched a wall before. Good to know she brought out my violent side.
My hand stung and I watched it swell before my eyes. I really shouldn’t have punched the wall. The door opened and Mum and Grace walked in, I dropped my hand beside my leg.
“You okay , Lucas?” Mum asked.
“Ye ah,” I replied, hoping I sounded convincing.
She gasped,
“You really have grown, Kai.”
“Does this mean you’ll back off a bit?”
She pursed her lips. “Umm, probably not. You’re my little brother , and I love you.”
“I love you , too, but I’m twenty-one now. You need to trust that I know what I’m doing, in my life and with Tegan.”
“I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“Not lookin’ to get hurt. We’re friends, Elle, that’s all she can do right now anyway.” Fuck trying to have a relationship and thinking about another person when you could barely get up out of bed. Factoring someone else into your life when you were barely living was never a good idea. I could handle it now, Tegan couldn’t.
“ So, what are you doing with her?” Elle asked.
Sex. Bike sex. Bed sex. Car sex. Bathroom stall sex. Table sex. Shower sex.
I shrugged. “Just hangin’ out.”
She arched her eyebrow, completely unconvinced. I grinned.
“Oh, come on, you expect me to believe you’re just friends?”
“Elle, I don’t expect you to believe anything. I’ve got to be somewhere in half an hour, did you want something else?”
“Where do you have to be?”
Nosey bitch.
“Gettin’ a new tattoo.”
“Another one? You barely have any room left as it is.”
I had most of my chest, my right forearm and legs left. Plenty of room. “Havin’ some birds put on Isaac’s arm.”
My upper right arm was all about the little brother I adored. Things that reminded me of him were right there, clocks with the time he was born and morbidly, the time he died, dog tags that matched the ones hanging around my neck, and his name hidden in there, all blended together with waves of the ocean and clouds of the sky. The whole thing was black and grey and I knew he’d love it. But it needed birds. There weren’t many mornings that I didn’t wake up to a foam gliding bird flying across my room or littered on my floor.
“I hated those bloody things.”
So did I. He refused the plane ones unless they were army planes, which they often weren’t. Birds were cool though, apparently.
“Okay, I’ll let you get on then,” she said, standing up. “If you ever need anything…”
“Yeah, you, too.”
Time to add to Isaac’s little mural on my arm. I missed him so much I felt sick, but the tattoos made me feel close to him. I needed that.
Chapter Thirteen
Lucas
I watched as she left me as fast as she could again, slamming the car door hard behind her. I didn’t know what to do, she was a complete head-fuck and I was losing my mind trying to figure her out. I made her feel something but she wanted nothing to do with me.
It made no sense at all.
I think I’d prefer her to not like me and not want to be with me. I stormed off back in the house, in the pissiest mood I’d been in in a long time, and went up to my room. Fuck sake, what the fuck was going on? Gritting my teeth, I saw red and slammed my fist into the wall. For the first time I wished my dad would’ve cut corners when he had the house made seven years ago and put up plasterboard instead of using concrete blocks. My hand throbbed and blood seeped from the knuckles. Perfect.
Shaking it off, I sat on the end of the bed and tried to flex my fingers. Thank God , I could, nothing was broken. I hadn’t punched a wall since… Actually, I’d never punched a wall before. Good to know she brought out my violent side.
My hand stung and I watched it swell before my eyes. I really shouldn’t have punched the wall. The door opened and Mum and Grace walked in, I dropped my hand beside my leg.
“You okay , Lucas?” Mum asked.
“Ye ah,” I replied, hoping I sounded convincing.
She gasped,
Similar Books
