Read Online Savage by Michelle St. James - Free Book Online

since I had Lily.” She hated how prim she sounded.
    Kate burst into laughter. Jenna looked at her sharply, watching as she fell back on the floor, holding her stomach the way she had when they were kids and Jenna tickled her mercilessly. Jenna leaned back on her elbows, waiting for Kate’s hysteria to subside.
    “I’m happy I can still amuse you, Kate,” she finally said.
    “I’m sorry,” Kate said, still catching her breath. “It’s just that you’re the only person I know who would leave a man, then hold a torch for him for five bloody years. And you’re definitely the only person I know who can go five years without a shag.”
    Jenna’s face flushed with embarrassment. “It’s been a choice. I wanted to focus on Lily. On making a good life for her.”
    Liar, a voice whispered in her head. You didn’t want anyone else to touch you. As if that would somehow make him farther away. As if it would make your separation more permanent.
    More real.
    “That’s all well and good, Jenna, but your fanny is going to grow over if you don’t get a pecker in there soon.”
    “Kate!” Jenna admonished. “Must you be so crass?”
    She regretted the question as soon as she asked it. How was it that Kate could still make her feel like the boring, uptight older sister?
    “The truth isn’t crass,” Kate said, standing and brushing the dust off her bum. “It’s simply the truth.”
    “Well, I don’t need commentary on my love life,” Jenna said. “Live your life and let me live mine.”
    Kate bent to pick up the box. “Whatever you say. I just hope you know what you’re doing.”
    So do I, Jenna thought as Kate left the room. So do I.

10
    “ M ummy , what’s wrong with Gran?”
    Jenna knocked on Mrs. Hodges' door, then looked down at her daughter. “She’s eaten something bad, something that made her sick.”
    Jenna hated herself for lying, but she hated her mother more for making her feel like she had no choice.
    They’d had a good day. She’d taken Lily to the movies, wanting to escape the house and the memories, and most of all, the thoughts that ran in circles between Farrell Black and the strangeness of the passport and key card that had been sewn into her father’s jacket. After the movie, Jenna had taken Lily on the Eye, then to the Stamford Larder for cupcakes and hot cocoa. Lily had been tired and happy on the tube home, leaning on Jenna’s shoulder, her hands still a little sticky and smelling of sugar.
    But Jenna had known things were about to go off the rails as soon as they stepped into the house. Her mother was sprawled on the couch, an empty bottle of gin on the table next to her. Their entry into the house had jolted her out of her stupor, and she stood quickly, trying to maintain a look of control before she dashed for the bathroom. Jenna knew from the sound of things that she hadn’t quite made the toilet. She’d turned around right then and come to Mrs. Hodges' flat.
    The door opened and Mrs. Hodges’ face broke into an easy smile. “Well, if it isn’t my two favorite girls!” She took a step back and opened the door wider. “I’ve just put the kettle on. Come in.”
    She was a small woman, somewhere between the age of fifty-five and seventy, with bright brown eyes and a still-lithe frame that she draped in loose trousers and patterned tunics. She smelled like tea and patchouli, a combination that was almost as calming to Jenna as Mrs. Hodges' quiet wisdom and capable hands. Her husband had died when Jenna and Kate were small. Jenna didn’t remember him, but she had a sense of him, of bushy eyebrows over warm eyes, a jacket with patched elbows, and a soft, deep laugh that made Mrs. Hodges smile.
    Jenna led Lily into the flat, hyper aware of Lily’s tiny hand in hers. It was her job to shield Lily from the ugliness of the world, a job that only seemed to get harder since she’d come back to London. “I’m afraid I can’t stay, but would it be okay if I leave Lily here for