were shut, and the beach bum music they usually played in the halls had been turned off for the night. If not for the harsh echoes of Crystal’s footsteps, these halls would be completely silent.
He’s reconsidering, though. He might decide to keep me, and our baby.
But Cole’s demand had cast her entire relationship with him into doubt in her mind. It’s not all my fault , she realized for the first time.
Whenever Cole’s mood was bad, Crystal wondered what she’d done to upset him. Whenever he was especially quiet, she worried he might have discovered what Brandon was doing to her. Even when Brandon violated her, she’d felt on some level that she’d caused it to happen. She used to think it happened because she’d been a bad girlfriend to Cole, or because she didn’t work hard enough to go to school and get a better job, or because she disappointed her mother, whom she loved dearly in spite of their disagreements. Crystal had been obsessed with her own shortcomings and her penance for those shortcomings, as if she deserved nothing good in life just because she’d been born as a piss-poor nobody. She’d shrugged away Heather’s concerns earlier, but now, when she visualized herself from Heather’s perspective, she saw that her own insecurities were all bullshit. Why had she blamed herself when it was Cole who was disregarding Brandon’s depravity? Even if Cole didn’t know the full extent of it, he knew enough, and he could have gotten rid of Brandon any time he wanted. But Cole was so compliant, so indifferent. She’d always assumed that Brandon had made him that way, but now she wondered if Cole had always been like that.
What did Cole want her for, anyway? Now that she thought about it, all they ever did together was go out to clubs, go out to eat, go out to social functions, nap, and have sex, with Brandon usually present for all but the last two. Crystal wanted a soulmate, but all Cole seemed to want was someone to pass time with. Was she just arm candy to him?
But I am the one who chose to stay with him , Crystal tried to tell herself. To stay in the same living space as Brandon. But her choice had been between this and abject poverty. She’d choose the poverty if she could go back and decide again, but she was stuck in the here and now, where the men in her life had made her fragile, and had taken advantage of that fragility. All that will change now. Now I’ll—
Her thoughts scattered when she realized that someone else was with her in the hallway. She thought she’d heard a door open a minute ago, and had assumed it was another resident. Now she realized that whoever it was, they were trying to be stealthy. The footsteps were softer than Crystal’s. Their volume didn’t fade over time, though; they were following her. As she turned a corner, she casually peered into a reflective picture frame to see who was behind her.
Brandon! And he had something in his hands, hidden behind his back.
Crystal quickened her pace, leading Brandon past the lounge where they’d filmed earlier tonight. It’s nothing , she told herself. He’s just coming to check if the guard found out anything about those markings. Brandon would never attack her here, in the open, in public.
But it wasn’t so public—the halls were empty, the condo sleeping, and no one lived on the ground floor anyway. They have security cameras! Or maybe Brandon knew how to turn them off?
Would the security guard be able to hear if she called for help? She could run, but then Brandon would know she was on to him and he’d chase her. I’m so stupid! How could I let myself fall into this situation?
He was getting closer. Way too close! He was only feet behind her, and now she knew he was here for her. Okay, then. Okay…
She tried to steady her breathing as she inconspicuously reached a hand into her purse, withdrew the kitchen knife she’d stashed there, then hid it in front of her body, its razor edge ready to strike. When she
He’s reconsidering, though. He might decide to keep me, and our baby.
But Cole’s demand had cast her entire relationship with him into doubt in her mind. It’s not all my fault , she realized for the first time.
Whenever Cole’s mood was bad, Crystal wondered what she’d done to upset him. Whenever he was especially quiet, she worried he might have discovered what Brandon was doing to her. Even when Brandon violated her, she’d felt on some level that she’d caused it to happen. She used to think it happened because she’d been a bad girlfriend to Cole, or because she didn’t work hard enough to go to school and get a better job, or because she disappointed her mother, whom she loved dearly in spite of their disagreements. Crystal had been obsessed with her own shortcomings and her penance for those shortcomings, as if she deserved nothing good in life just because she’d been born as a piss-poor nobody. She’d shrugged away Heather’s concerns earlier, but now, when she visualized herself from Heather’s perspective, she saw that her own insecurities were all bullshit. Why had she blamed herself when it was Cole who was disregarding Brandon’s depravity? Even if Cole didn’t know the full extent of it, he knew enough, and he could have gotten rid of Brandon any time he wanted. But Cole was so compliant, so indifferent. She’d always assumed that Brandon had made him that way, but now she wondered if Cole had always been like that.
What did Cole want her for, anyway? Now that she thought about it, all they ever did together was go out to clubs, go out to eat, go out to social functions, nap, and have sex, with Brandon usually present for all but the last two. Crystal wanted a soulmate, but all Cole seemed to want was someone to pass time with. Was she just arm candy to him?
But I am the one who chose to stay with him , Crystal tried to tell herself. To stay in the same living space as Brandon. But her choice had been between this and abject poverty. She’d choose the poverty if she could go back and decide again, but she was stuck in the here and now, where the men in her life had made her fragile, and had taken advantage of that fragility. All that will change now. Now I’ll—
Her thoughts scattered when she realized that someone else was with her in the hallway. She thought she’d heard a door open a minute ago, and had assumed it was another resident. Now she realized that whoever it was, they were trying to be stealthy. The footsteps were softer than Crystal’s. Their volume didn’t fade over time, though; they were following her. As she turned a corner, she casually peered into a reflective picture frame to see who was behind her.
Brandon! And he had something in his hands, hidden behind his back.
Crystal quickened her pace, leading Brandon past the lounge where they’d filmed earlier tonight. It’s nothing , she told herself. He’s just coming to check if the guard found out anything about those markings. Brandon would never attack her here, in the open, in public.
But it wasn’t so public—the halls were empty, the condo sleeping, and no one lived on the ground floor anyway. They have security cameras! Or maybe Brandon knew how to turn them off?
Would the security guard be able to hear if she called for help? She could run, but then Brandon would know she was on to him and he’d chase her. I’m so stupid! How could I let myself fall into this situation?
He was getting closer. Way too close! He was only feet behind her, and now she knew he was here for her. Okay, then. Okay…
She tried to steady her breathing as she inconspicuously reached a hand into her purse, withdrew the kitchen knife she’d stashed there, then hid it in front of her body, its razor edge ready to strike. When she
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