Read Online Sam Cruz's Infallible Guide to Getting Girls by Tellulah Darling - Free Book Online Page B

dress.”
    “I always did like a glimpse of a well-turned ankle,” Vic offers.
    “You also liked it when women couldn’t vote. ‘Come hither?’ Sam?” Rosie prompts. She glances at him with fond amusement. “Don’t leave us hanging,” she says. “This is fascinating.”
    Sam looks like he’s about to give her the finger but instead mimes tossing his hair. He shoots a sly sideways glance at me.
    Okay, that’s kinda hot.
    Matt comes out with our fries in time to catch it. “Do that again, baby,” he says. “I get all shivery.”
    “First time it’s free,” Sam replies. “Second time you gotta pay and you can’t afford me.”
    Matt looks mock insulted.
    “‘Flirtation,’” Sam continues. “Now you may speak. But only about superficial and preferably sexually innuendoed topics. Nothing you’re actually interested in.”
    “So don’t be me,” I mutter, dousing my fries in ketchup.
    “Crazy, right?” Sam steals the ketchup away. “So, really, why would you want to do this? You have a great personality and you should let it shine. Dazzle them with all those fun animal facts at your fingertips.”
    Enough is enough.
    “Sam,” I say sternly.
    “Don’t be you,” he agrees, sounding resigned. “This isn’t a meaningful connection of the minds, if you get what I mean.”
    “A child would get what you mean. ‘Invitation?’”
    “Get up and leave, but throw a look over your shoulder,” Matt offers.
    Sam nods. “That works. Anything that gets you out of there. And remember, you can always leave alone. There’s no shame in a nice quiet evening.”
    “You got written copies?” asks Vic. “I could use it for Bingo night.”
    “Unless it comes with a map and detailed technical instructions, it wouldn’t help you, you old coot,” Rosie tells him.
    Vic scowls and turns away.
    “That sounds like fun, Ally,” Rosie tells me.
    I nod, enthusiastic.
    Sam is tight-lipped. Seems the veritable master is having issues with his creation.
    Too. Freaking. Bad.
    Abra Renfrew is in the house.

Chapter thirteen
     
    Ally looks off-the-charts hot and it’s killing me. Death by blue balls.
    I’d gotten cocky about my mental well-being where she was concerned after that initial makeover shock. At paragliding she was hidden under a helmet and layers of warm fleece. Afterward, I had my hookups with Alicia and Nikki to distract me. And Ally’s “show me what you got” disaster set her back several stages in the hot race.
    But today? In that top?
    I can’t get home to take a cold shower fast enough.
    I race down the hallway and collide with some woman coming out of our bathroom. Wearing the same top as Ally. And while she stretches it out a hell of a lot more, she doesn’t look half as good in it.
    “You must totally be Greg’s son,” she beams at me. “I’m Alexa.”
    “Hey. I’m Sam.”
    Not bad, Dad. Obviously she’s my dad’s latest “girlfriend.” Since they only tend to last a couple dates, the quotes are a must.
    Alexa has blond hair, blue eyes, big tits. My dad’s standard. And if she’s like the rest, she’s probably in her late twenties, which is pretty good for my forty-five-year-old dad.
    “Sam.” My dad comes out of his bedroom, shrugging into his jacket. He’s got dark hair and blue eyes and is always laughing. Ladies love him.
    Dad slings an arm around me. “Alexa, you met my boy?”
    “He’s like a mini you.”
    Now all I can picture is Mini Me from Austin Powers . Not a great look.
    “The kid is a rock star with the girls.”
    I step away from my dad. This is just awkward. For him mostly. “Okay, Pops. Run along.”
    Dad grins at me. He knows what I’m thinking. Then he points at me. “Really proud of this guy.”
    “You should be.” Alexa takes Dad’s arm, “accidentally” managing to press her chest against him. “He’s a cute one.”
    “Well. Homework to do. Nice meeting you,” I tell Alexa.
    With a jaunty salute my way, Dad and Blondie leave.
    Got to hand