Read Online RUSH (Montgomery Men Book 1) by C.A. Harms - Free Book Online Page B

the floor because I was just too lazy to toss them in the hamper. I never even thought of doing things like this because Jase made the rules of our lives very clear. Which was why now, I was the complete opposite. I left my clothes on the floor just because I could. I left my dirty coffee cup in the sink and empty wrappers on the counter because it made me feel as if I was finally in control. I left the bed unmade for days, which always brought the biggest smile to my face. I didn’t care if it made me a slob. This was my way of rebelling.
    And when I took my shoes off after coming home from work, I left them in the center of the floor without a second thought.
    I still hadn’t found the perfect painting or the right color of bedding, but that was mostly because I could barely afford my lifestyle now. Those things would come in time though. Now I was just happy with my freedom.
    I didn’t miss the money or the fancy things because they were his, not mine, and he made sure to point that out every chance he got. He often told me I would be nothing without him.
    And these were the biggest reasons I couldn’t give in to the temptation of exploring the attraction between me and Ashton I couldn’t risk repeating my past. And I had to keep myself free from any attachment. Because when you grow close to someone, the fears and secrets you hide find a way a resurfacing. I couldn’t allow anyone to know who I was, or where I came from.
    I had to keep Kinsley hidden forever.
    I should get a cat. I laughed at the random thought. I had no idea where that came from. I guess I was just lonely. I would have loved to pick up the phone and call my dad. Jase had always kept me from doing that. Just another way he controlled me.
    I missed my father. I often found myself remembering what our life together was like during those years before we fell into the hands of Bruce and Jase Hellman. We didn’t have much and my father’s health kept us indoors most of the time because couldn’t move much beyond the couch or his bed. But we were happy then. In those days, we would just talk for hours. At times we would get into debates about politics or something random on the news. My father and I were both hardheaded about our views of how the world should be. We’d get so lost in our conversations that we hardly noticed how much time had passed before we realized it was the middle of the night.
    It was still hard for me to believe that he was gone. And it was hard to fathom that I had no idea where my father was buried, or if he was even buried instead of being cremated. I just wanted to imagine him sitting on the couch beside me, laughing at how deeply I had gotten into learning about the recent presidential candidates. It was easier not to face the fact that I’d never see him again.
    Maybe this was wrong on my part, but it helped me survive, and somehow I knew my father would be okay with my choice for now if it helped me.
    I had to keep my head above water, and if I started mourning my father I knew I’d be lost. And then I would be weak.
    I couldn’t give Jase that. I would continue to fight against weakness because I refused to fall.

ASHTON
    IT WAS SATURDAY EVENING, AND I was yet again thrown into the party scene.
    Normally an outing such as my current one wouldn’t bother me. It was for a good cause. Raising money for those less fortunate than myself had always been a must for me. But tonight, my mind was still completely wrapped up in some damn stubborn-ass brunette.
    The waiting was fucking killing me.
    I knew I would soon have to come up with a way to find myself coincidently in the same place at the same time as the beautiful Kiera. But I still hadn’t come up with a plan.
    “Why on earth are you hiding all the way over here in a dark corner?” My hand froze in midair with my tumbler of scotch pressed gently against my lips when Sloane, my ex, approached.
    I’d seen her when I arrived over an hour ago, yet I chose to ignore her.