Running Wild

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Authors: Kristen Middleton
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o’clock in the afternoon, according to my cell phone. My stomach was growling, my mouth so dry I would have pulled over to drink from a pond if I’d found one. But there was nothing, just trees, farmland, and an endless road.
    I took out my cell phone and scrolled down the call list to get a phone number for my mom. Now, I know that driving and texting is a dangerous combination and I don’t usually do things that reckless, but my head was still pretty fuzzy. As I tried to steer the truck and text the phone number, the one my mom had called from, to my dad, I slammed into the back of an old Cadillac that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.
    “Shit!” I shrieked, watching as the car began to fishtail back and forth.
    The driver, a very elderly man wearing a cowboy hat, gained control of it. Then he laid on the horn, stuck his hand out the window, and flipped me off.
    I was both embarrassed and relieved to have found another living person on the road. I followed behind him at a safe distance for another mile and then he motioned for me to pull over to the side of the road. As I pulled up behind him, he got out of his car and shuffled towards me, cussing the entire way. He was tall, very thin, and dressed sort of like the “Marlboro Man”.
    Great, I thought, another cowboy .
    His fists were clenched and the look on his face was anything but friendly. When he stopped outside my driver’s window, he snorted and shook his head.
    “Well, now this makes sense,” he barked. “Teenaged girls shouldn’t be allowed on the road. None of them can drive worth squat.”
    My jaw dropped. “That’s not fair. Look, I’m sorry for hitting you, it was an accident. But you don’t have to get all huffy about it.”
    The cranky old man raised his hand, making a yapping motion with his fingers. “Are you still talking? Listen, that’s the problem with young people these days. I’ll bet you were even on your phone when you hit me. Come on, tell me I’m wrong?”
    I wasn’t about to admit he was right, so I just stared at him defiantly.
    His eyes narrowed as he pulled out a small container of chewing tobacco from his pocket. “You know, you could have killed me and my girlfriend. You’re just lucky she’s such a heavy sleeper. She’d have kicked your butt from here to Hong Kong.”
    Just then, a woman got out of his car and walked over. The look on her face was both troubled and apologetic. She stared at the old man’s face and sighed. “Henry, you’re not giving this young girl a hard time, are you?”
    Henry’s entire demeanor changed. He went from a total crab ass to “Pepe Le Pew”.
    “Hey there, beautiful,” he said tenderly. “Go back to the car and rest. I can handle this.”
    “Hi, I’m Mary,” she said, holding her hand out to me. She looked a couple decades younger than Henry and reminded me of the southern lady with the cooking show, Paula Deen. “I’m sorry for any trouble this old fart has caused you. I know he can be a little…ornery.”
    “Actually, it’s my fault. I rear-ended you,” I admitted, although grateful for Mary’s kindness.
    He spit out a brown wad of chewing tobacco and scowled. “You’re darn tootin’ it was your fault. You and your parents are going to pay for these damages, too. Get them on the horn and tell them I prefer cash.”
    “Henry,” sighed Mary. “This isn’t even your car.” She looked at me again. “We took it from the parking lot of the retirement home I worked for. Henry, here, was one of the tenants.”
    I bit back a smile. “Oh, he said you were his girlfriend.”
    Mary threw her head back and roared with laughter. “Oh, lord! He tells everyone that. I tell you what, this old man’s so frisky; he makes Hugh Hefner seem under-sexed.”
    Henry tilted his cowboy hat and grinned adoringly at Mary. “I’m eighty-nine with the libido of a twenty-five year old. Come on Mary… live on the edge for once.”
    She let out a ragged sigh and shook her head.

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