window of our rental car the rest of the weekend as we drove. We buy cowboy hats, Koosh balls . . . if it’s weird and they sell it, we’re buying. What’s funny is when you go to return the car to the rental agency and you just leave all of that stuff in there. One time I would love to see the reaction of the guy who has to clean our car out. I wonder what they do with Elvis paintings and piles of McDonald’s bags.
Get On the Bus
Big Show
I was so sick of all the problems associated with traveling that I went out and got a tour bus. You see, Big Show now rides around in a million-and-a-half-dollar tour bus with a driver. But the young Big Show, that was a different story. The young Big Show one time had a Tuesday-night TV taping in Rome, Georgia, but I had an 11:20 P.M. flight out of the Atlanta airport that I wanted to make. Now, Rome, Georgia, is about an hour and twenty minutes away from Atlanta on a normal drive, and we had to go through Atlanta to the other side to make the airport. But like I said, I really wanted to make my flight. “Mean” Gene Okerlund lived in Tampa as well and was also on my flight, so he wanted to catch a ride with me to the airport. I said, “Sure, Gene, no problem.” But then we wrapped up from TV a little late, and Gene didn’t think we’d be able to make it to the airport on time.
Now, back then, we used to rent Cadillac DeVilles, and those Cadillac DeVilles, their speedometers shut down at 112 mph. So I set the cruise control at 110 mph and headed to the airport. We go through Atlanta, stop at the Omni hotel in downtown Atlanta so Gene could grab his suit bag from the concierge. The bellman handed it to Gene as he jumped out, then he hopped back in the car and we hauled ass through Atlanta and got to the airport with enough time to drop off our rental car at the Avis return. We made it from Rome, Georgia, to the Atlanta airport in fifty-eight minutes with a stop in Atlanta to pick up the suit.
“Mean” Gene never said a word the entire trip. We go through check-in, get on the plane, and we’re sitting next to each other when “Mean” Gene orders two drinks back to back. He slammed them both and looked as white as a sheet. He looked right at me and said, “Well, if I ever need to get somewhere in a hurry, I know who to call.”
I never even thought anything about it. I was just trying to make our flight. But I guess I completely terrified “Mean” Gene Okerlund and took a few years off of his life with that one car ride.
These days, though, like I said, different story. I ride in Toby Keith’s “American Soldier” bus, and I have a driver to take me wherever I need to go. The bus has a big king-size bed in the back, fifty-inch plasmas, Michelob Ultra Light on tap, Bud Light on tap, full bar . . . I don’t even drink that much, but every now and then, it’s great to have a cold beer. I’ve got wireless Internet, DIRECTV, and I even have an Xbox 360 hooked up so I can play all of my first-person shooters, like Rainbow Six: Vegas, Call of Duty , and Wolfenstein.
I like it because I never have to look for hotel rooms. I always have a locker room to get dressed in, I always have my own shower, and since I have all of my clothes in the back, if I need a suit or something special to wear, I have it with me accessible at all times. About the only bag I bring with me to the airport is the one holding my computer and my wallet. That’s about it. So these days, in the States, traveling works out really well thanks to the bus.
Driving up and down the road two hundred and fifty to three hundred miles every night, I did it for twelve years and it’s just too much for me. So the past couple of years I’ve been on my bus and it works out so much better. I’m done with hotels. I’m done checking into hotels at three in the morning. You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve checked into a hotel, they see how big I am, but then they give me a room with two double beds.
Get On the Bus
Big Show
I was so sick of all the problems associated with traveling that I went out and got a tour bus. You see, Big Show now rides around in a million-and-a-half-dollar tour bus with a driver. But the young Big Show, that was a different story. The young Big Show one time had a Tuesday-night TV taping in Rome, Georgia, but I had an 11:20 P.M. flight out of the Atlanta airport that I wanted to make. Now, Rome, Georgia, is about an hour and twenty minutes away from Atlanta on a normal drive, and we had to go through Atlanta to the other side to make the airport. But like I said, I really wanted to make my flight. “Mean” Gene Okerlund lived in Tampa as well and was also on my flight, so he wanted to catch a ride with me to the airport. I said, “Sure, Gene, no problem.” But then we wrapped up from TV a little late, and Gene didn’t think we’d be able to make it to the airport on time.
Now, back then, we used to rent Cadillac DeVilles, and those Cadillac DeVilles, their speedometers shut down at 112 mph. So I set the cruise control at 110 mph and headed to the airport. We go through Atlanta, stop at the Omni hotel in downtown Atlanta so Gene could grab his suit bag from the concierge. The bellman handed it to Gene as he jumped out, then he hopped back in the car and we hauled ass through Atlanta and got to the airport with enough time to drop off our rental car at the Avis return. We made it from Rome, Georgia, to the Atlanta airport in fifty-eight minutes with a stop in Atlanta to pick up the suit.
“Mean” Gene never said a word the entire trip. We go through check-in, get on the plane, and we’re sitting next to each other when “Mean” Gene orders two drinks back to back. He slammed them both and looked as white as a sheet. He looked right at me and said, “Well, if I ever need to get somewhere in a hurry, I know who to call.”
I never even thought anything about it. I was just trying to make our flight. But I guess I completely terrified “Mean” Gene Okerlund and took a few years off of his life with that one car ride.
These days, though, like I said, different story. I ride in Toby Keith’s “American Soldier” bus, and I have a driver to take me wherever I need to go. The bus has a big king-size bed in the back, fifty-inch plasmas, Michelob Ultra Light on tap, Bud Light on tap, full bar . . . I don’t even drink that much, but every now and then, it’s great to have a cold beer. I’ve got wireless Internet, DIRECTV, and I even have an Xbox 360 hooked up so I can play all of my first-person shooters, like Rainbow Six: Vegas, Call of Duty , and Wolfenstein.
I like it because I never have to look for hotel rooms. I always have a locker room to get dressed in, I always have my own shower, and since I have all of my clothes in the back, if I need a suit or something special to wear, I have it with me accessible at all times. About the only bag I bring with me to the airport is the one holding my computer and my wallet. That’s about it. So these days, in the States, traveling works out really well thanks to the bus.
Driving up and down the road two hundred and fifty to three hundred miles every night, I did it for twelve years and it’s just too much for me. So the past couple of years I’ve been on my bus and it works out so much better. I’m done with hotels. I’m done checking into hotels at three in the morning. You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve checked into a hotel, they see how big I am, but then they give me a room with two double beds.
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