dammit.”
When I look up, the grief and pain combination covering Granddad’s face is just another dagger to my already wounded heart.
“Then be man enough to give her a chance.” Granddad slowly takes a seat on a bale of hay across from me. “Have you ever flat out asked her why she left?”
“I’m not dumb. She left for the city.”
“There’s your problem, boy, you’re assuming you know all the answers.”
“She basically told me that when I ran into her for a few brief minutes at the rodeo with Challis and Merek.” I do my best to slide up onto the hay bale and sit down, but I don’t miss the shooting pains going off in my head. “She could do nothing but brag about the city life and told me she needed help dodging a date.”
“Dammit, Maverik, you’re not listening to me. You’re assuming everything when it comes to Ella. Now I don’t know why she left, but I do know she loved you just as much as you loved her, and it’s worth finding out.”
I bury my face in the palms of my hands and grunt. I can’t handle any more of Ella and the fucking emotions simmering within me. I want nothing more than to chalk it all up to a pot of bad decisions and move the hell on.
“Can you live the rest of your life without her, Maverik? Will you be okay knowing you let her walk right out of your life this time?”
“No, it killed me the first damn time.” Overwhelming emotions attack my core.
“Then go get her, find out answers, and make a decision from there instead of living in your own personal hell.”
“She left for the city life. I wasn’t enough.”
“Dammit, boy, it’s your choice.”
I watch as he takes his time to stand and hear several of his bones creak and crack as he moves about. I let his message replay over and over in my head as I process the words. When I look back up, Granddad is nearing his front porch and Marvel is by my side in the stable.
“I need help today.”
“I’m here.”
“We need to move some cattle around and help Merek and Challis work the colts. We need to be on them double time from here on out.”
“Okay.” I kick a cloud of dust up in the air, sliding my boot back and forth.
“Saint’s going to be done screwing with us.”
“Saint will never be gone until the day he dies, and then more than likely he’ll leave behind a mini-him. Fuckers like Saint will always be around fucking with the good people.”
“Go change and be ready in twenty minutes. I’ll get your horse ready.”
Marvel storms out the open doors into the sunlight and it’s in this moment I see the Marvel I used to know disappear in front of me. He’s hardened with hatred and stressed beyond belief. Life’s been a bitch to all of us, but I guess the difference between Marvel and myself is that I have the choice to try to fix this shit with Ella, or at least get some unanswered questions resolved.
My tiny bunkhouse is quiet and lonely with lingering memories of sweet Ella gracing it. Just the short time she was here made everything change. I want her here. I want her forever. My heart just has to figure out a way back to her.
I grab my phone and dial the local motel’s number and cringe when I realize I have the number memorized from several nights of inappropriate behavior with strange women. A vicious cycle I used to drown out memories and numb my pain that Ella left me in.
“Wagon Wheel front desk.”
“Um, yeah.” I pause, not really knowing what I want to ask or say.
“Hello? What can I help you with?”
“Ella James’ room please.”
“One moment.”
The phone begins ringing, and I cringe with each ring, still not knowing what I’ll say to her. Ring after ring goes by until it’s cut off.
“Fuck.” I throw down my cell phone, start my coffee pot, and head for the shower.
The cold water stuns every single one of my senses as well as brings my sore muscles to life. Cuts and bruises begin to sting the longer I stand under the spray of water. My hand stops
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