to myself almost aloud: âIâm Jack Pansay on leave at Simla â at Simla! Everyday, ordinary Simla. I mustnât forget that âI mustnât forget that.â Then I would try to recollect some of the gossip I had heard at the Club; the prices of So-and-Soâs horses â anything, in fact, that related to the work-a-day Anglo-Indian world I knew so well. I even repeated the multiplication-table rapidly to myself, to make quite sure that I was not taking leave of my senses. It gave me much comfort; and must have prevented my hearing Mrs Wessington for a time.
Once more I wearily climbed the Convent slope and entered the level road. Here Kitty and the man started off at a canter,and I was left alone with Mrs Wessington. âAgnes,â said I, âwill you put back your hood and tell me what it all means?â The hood dropped noiselessly and I was face to face with my dead and buried mistress. She was wearing the dress in which I had last seen her alive: carried the same tiny handkerchief in her right hand; and the same card-case in her left. (A woman eight months dead with a card-case!) I had to pin myself down to the multiplication-table, and to set both hands on the stone parapet of the road to assure myself that that at least was real.
âAgnes,â I repeated, âfor pityâs sake tell me what it all means.â Mrs Wessington leant forward, with that odd, quick turn of the head I used to know so well, and spoke.
If my story had not already so madly overleaped the bounds of all human belief I should apologise to you now. As I know that no one â no, not even Kitty, for whom it is written as some sort of justification of my conduct â will believe me, I will go on. Mrs Wessington spoke and I walked with her from the Sanjowlie road to the turning below the Commander-in-Chiefs house as I might walk by the side of any living womanâs rickshaw, deep in conversation. The second and most tormenting of my moods of sickness had suddenly laid hold upon me, and like the prince in Tennysonâs poem, âI seemed to move amid a world of ghostsâ. There had been a garden-party at the Commander-in-Chiefâs, and we two joined the crowd of homeward-bound folk. As I saw them then it seemed that they were the shadows â impalpable fantastic shadows â that divided for Mrs Wessingtonâs rickshaw to pass through. What we said during the course of that weird interview I cannot â indeed, I dare not â tell. Heatherleghâs comment would have been a short laugh and a remark that I had been âmashing a brain-eye-and-stomach chimeraâ. It was a ghastly and yet in some indefinable way a marvellously dear experience. Could it be possible, I wondered, that I was in this life to woo a second time the woman I had killed by my own neglect and cruelty?
I met Kitty on the homeward road â a shadow among shadows.
If I were to describe all the incidents of the next fortnight intheir order, my story would never come to an end; and your patience would be exhausted. Morning after morning and evening after evening the ghostly rickshaw and I used to wander through Simla together. Wherever I went, there the four black and white liveries followed me and bore me company to and from my hotel. At the theatre I found them amid the crowd of yelling jhampanies; outside the club verandah, after a long evening of whist; at the birthday ball, waiting patiently for my reappearance; and in broad daylight when I went calling. Save that it cast no shadow, the rickshaw was in every respect as real to look upon as one of wood and iron. More than once, indeed, I have had to check myself from warning some hard-riding friend against cantering over it. More than once I have walked down the Mall deep in conversation with Mrs Wessington to the unspeakable amazement of the passers-by.
Before I had been out and about a week I learnt that the âfitâ theory had been
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