Read Online Rory's Proposal by Lynda Renham - Free Book Online

flip it up and then smoke some dope but I somehow think my interpretation is right.
    ‘You okay? Sandy said you’re all assed out.’
    I’m assed out alright. The colonic clean out diet has nearly finished off my poor arse. If it wasn’t for the Windeze I’d be totally assed out for sure. But somehow I don’t think Jethro is talking about my gas problem, or the state of my arse.
    ‘I’m sure it will all be okay,’ I say, thinking of my wind problem and how I can’t stay on Windeze forever.
    ‘You want me to get someone to give these Rory cats a chin check?’ He says, pulling out a chair. Oh no, please step away from the chair. I really could not stand more than five minutes of Jethro tonight.
    ‘A chin check,’ I repeat.
    It sounds harmless enough when you say it but I’m sure it isn’t. I sigh with relief as Sandy comes into the salon with her coat on.
    ‘Hey Jeth, I’m ready.’
    ‘I was just sayin’ to Flo, she should give those Rory cats a chin check. Or I could get someone to come round with a banger.’
    I’m so hoping he means a firework.
    ‘No it’s fine Jeth. But I’m sure Flora is grateful.’
    ‘Oh yes, dead grateful thank you. But I don’t think it has reached the banger stage yet.’
    What am I saying? It sounds like I’m considering it.
    ‘You wanna come with us to Marty’s, flip it up a bit?’ he asks.
    ‘Oh no, I’m really not in the mood for flipping it,’ I say.
    ‘You sure, it’s going to be dope.’
    I shake my head.
    ‘You getting afro products?’ he asks.
    ‘Yes, I have a feeling I may well be,’ I say. Well, let’s face it if I end up with a salon in the East End of London I most certainly will be. I’ve got to make a living after all and the thought of working for someone else now sends me into despair. I see them out and decide now is as good as time as any to phone Luke. I dial his direct line and he picks up immediately.
    ‘Hello, Luke Wright’s phone.’
    ‘Hello gorgeous, how’s that little cold cock of yours after its Biofreezing? I was thinking we could warm it up later. I could lather it in a nice hot bath and then give you the best shag of your life.’
    There is an intake of breath. Maybe Devon is right and this is the right tactic.
    ‘Well, that sounds great. And do you have a message for Luke? He’s in a meeting at the moment, shall I get him to call you.’
    Buggery fuck.
    ‘Sorry wrong number,’ I mumble before slamming the phone down. Shit, shit, and I mentioned the Biofreeze. I didn’t mention Luke’s name though did I? So hopefully they’ll think it was an obscene caller. I suppose I was in a way. With a red face I blow out the candle under Sandy’s oil burner and go to lock up when I see the basin is overflowing.
    ‘Oh bugger,’ I curse. Not again. This basin is always getting blocked. I quickly turn the water off at the stopcock and search for the mop and wrench. I struggle for five minutes trying to unblock the pipe and finally phone Tim the plumber, and get his voicemail. I go back and try again without success. I phone Tim a second time and leave a message before returning to the wrench and struggling with the pipe.
    ‘Piss it, stupid wrench.’
    I kick the wrench angrily. The knees of my leggings are completely soaked. My phone rings and I dive across the room, slipping on the wet as I do so and almost landing on my bottom.
    ‘Christ,’ I moan clicking on the phone. ‘Hello, is that the plumber?’
    ‘Miss Robson?’
    ‘Yes,’ I say breathlessly.
    ‘It’s Tim, the plumber. You left a message.’
    I’ve left hundreds of messages over the past six months. This basin leaks on a fortnightly basis.
    ‘Can you come?’ I ask desperation in my voice.
    ‘I’ve got no one available at this moment in time but I should have in about an hour or so,’ he says. ‘Is it the leaky basin again?’
    ‘An hour or so, I’d have drowned by then,’ I say dramatically. ‘Don’t you have anyone at all?’
    ‘Not at this moment in