Read Online Rock Stars Do It Dirty by Jasinda Wilder - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Jasinda Wilder
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sure where to start.”
“Just start with the truth.” She flagged the waiter and held up her wine glass.
Ian sipped from his own wine and then set it aside. “You aren’t happy. With me, I mean.”
Jamie pinched the bridge of her nose. “No, it’s not that. Not really. It’s…complicated.”
“Un-complicate it.”
“God. That’s a lot easier to say than to do. As cliché as this is, and as much as I hate how it’s going to sound…it’s not you, it’s me.”
“That’s fucking bollocks, Jamie.”
“I know, I know. But it’s true .” The server arrived to pour Jamie another measure of cabernet, and she sipped it greedily. “There’s just—”
“Someone else?”
“Yes. No. Sort of. There isn’t anyone else in the sense you’re thinking. I haven’t been seeing anyone else. I promise. But my heart is…I just can’t—” Jamie cut herself off with a huff. “Shit. I’m making a mess of this.”
“Sorry, darling, but you kind of are making a bit of a muddle of it. Just spit it out. You’re in love with someone else. I get it.”
“It’s not that simple, though. It’s just one of those things that won’t go away, you know? No matter how hard I try, I just can’t seem to let go.”
Ian scratched his jaw and then fiddled with the cloth napkin on the table. “I do remember that conversation we had. In my hotel room in Buttfuck, Michigan. You said some rot about forbidden love. You said you were over him.”
“It wasn’t rot, Ian.”
“It’s just a word, Jamie. I know it wasn’t. I just meant I remember you mentioning this other guy. And you’re still not over him enough to be happy with me.”
“It’s not like I don’t want to be over him, Ian. I do. I really, really do want to be over him. But I just…can’t seem to do it.”
“And I can’t do this with you if you’re not.” Ian tossed back the rest of his wine and watched Jamie’s reaction.
She only nodded. “I know. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry to have wasted so much of your time.” She stood up, leaving her half-full wine glass, and turned to walk away.
“Jamie, wait. You didn’t waste—shit.” He cut himself off when he realized Jamie wasn’t listening.
She was already out the door and into the flurries of hard, stinging snow. She wasn’t crying. Not again. Her eyes were stinging from the wind, was all. There was no reason to be upset. She knew it was coming. She would have done it herself soon. She wasn’t being fair to Ian, or to herself.
It still didn’t explain why the hole in her heart ached so badly.
* * *
Chase flopped over onto his back, and Tess let out a long, contented sigh.
“Chase, baby. I don’t know how you do that to me every time,” Tess said.
Forcing a smile onto his face, Chase turned over and kissed her. “I’m just that good,” he said.
Tess pinched his thigh. “And you’re just that arrogant.”
“It’s not arrogance, it’s confidence.”
“Same thing, babe.” Tess scooted out of bed and gathered her clothes, tossed them in her suitcase, then dug out a clean pair of panties and a bra. Her uniform was already pressed and hanging on the rack near the hotel door.
Chase watched her diminutive form as she moved around the room, gathering the rest of her things and packing them away, then hopped in the shower. He was every bit as attracted to her as the day he’d met her three months ago, but his ability to pretend she satisfied him was waning. He hated the pretense. Hated feeling like shit when he had to paste on a smile and act exhausted after a vigorous session in bed with her, when the truth was he was always holding back and was usually just getting started when she was finished, left partially sated and entirely frustrated.
He had an inkling she knew, but he hadn’t had the courage to broach the subject. She had a flight to Boston in a few hours, so he doubted the discussion would happen right then. He had a gig himself in a
“Just start with the truth.” She flagged the waiter and held up her wine glass.
Ian sipped from his own wine and then set it aside. “You aren’t happy. With me, I mean.”
Jamie pinched the bridge of her nose. “No, it’s not that. Not really. It’s…complicated.”
“Un-complicate it.”
“God. That’s a lot easier to say than to do. As cliché as this is, and as much as I hate how it’s going to sound…it’s not you, it’s me.”
“That’s fucking bollocks, Jamie.”
“I know, I know. But it’s true .” The server arrived to pour Jamie another measure of cabernet, and she sipped it greedily. “There’s just—”
“Someone else?”
“Yes. No. Sort of. There isn’t anyone else in the sense you’re thinking. I haven’t been seeing anyone else. I promise. But my heart is…I just can’t—” Jamie cut herself off with a huff. “Shit. I’m making a mess of this.”
“Sorry, darling, but you kind of are making a bit of a muddle of it. Just spit it out. You’re in love with someone else. I get it.”
“It’s not that simple, though. It’s just one of those things that won’t go away, you know? No matter how hard I try, I just can’t seem to let go.”
Ian scratched his jaw and then fiddled with the cloth napkin on the table. “I do remember that conversation we had. In my hotel room in Buttfuck, Michigan. You said some rot about forbidden love. You said you were over him.”
“It wasn’t rot, Ian.”
“It’s just a word, Jamie. I know it wasn’t. I just meant I remember you mentioning this other guy. And you’re still not over him enough to be happy with me.”
“It’s not like I don’t want to be over him, Ian. I do. I really, really do want to be over him. But I just…can’t seem to do it.”
“And I can’t do this with you if you’re not.” Ian tossed back the rest of his wine and watched Jamie’s reaction.
She only nodded. “I know. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry to have wasted so much of your time.” She stood up, leaving her half-full wine glass, and turned to walk away.
“Jamie, wait. You didn’t waste—shit.” He cut himself off when he realized Jamie wasn’t listening.
She was already out the door and into the flurries of hard, stinging snow. She wasn’t crying. Not again. Her eyes were stinging from the wind, was all. There was no reason to be upset. She knew it was coming. She would have done it herself soon. She wasn’t being fair to Ian, or to herself.
It still didn’t explain why the hole in her heart ached so badly.
* * *
Chase flopped over onto his back, and Tess let out a long, contented sigh.
“Chase, baby. I don’t know how you do that to me every time,” Tess said.
Forcing a smile onto his face, Chase turned over and kissed her. “I’m just that good,” he said.
Tess pinched his thigh. “And you’re just that arrogant.”
“It’s not arrogance, it’s confidence.”
“Same thing, babe.” Tess scooted out of bed and gathered her clothes, tossed them in her suitcase, then dug out a clean pair of panties and a bra. Her uniform was already pressed and hanging on the rack near the hotel door.
Chase watched her diminutive form as she moved around the room, gathering the rest of her things and packing them away, then hopped in the shower. He was every bit as attracted to her as the day he’d met her three months ago, but his ability to pretend she satisfied him was waning. He hated the pretense. Hated feeling like shit when he had to paste on a smile and act exhausted after a vigorous session in bed with her, when the truth was he was always holding back and was usually just getting started when she was finished, left partially sated and entirely frustrated.
He had an inkling she knew, but he hadn’t had the courage to broach the subject. She had a flight to Boston in a few hours, so he doubted the discussion would happen right then. He had a gig himself in a
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