baby? Panic billowed into my limbs, bringing adrenaline with it. Roaring, I plowed my fist into the wall, realizing too late I’d hurt the shifter as well as myself. It groaned and whined.
“Lila, stop!” Liam threw his arms around me from behind, confining but not hurting. A flash of fear lit me up from inside.
Shit . I’d scared Garret.
Arms folded across my middle, I wrestled out of Liam’s grasp. Pressing my forearms against the wall, I rested my forehead against them while I blinked back tears. “There are too many people I care about now. And having this baby in me has done something crazy to my head. All I want to do is tuck him away somewhere so he’ll be safe, but I can’t, because then everyone else will suffer. The Magi aren’t going to stop until I’ve either done what they want or they’re shut down.” I sniffled and willed myself back into some semblance of composure. “I don’t know how to do this without losing my mind and everyone I love. Leading a nation and caring about shit sucks.”
Liam gave a half-hearted chuckle, pulled me into his arms and led me inside. As he laid me on the bed and crawled in beside me, all humor faded from him. Determined eyes stared back at me. He played fingers along my bare arm. “Listen to me, now—”
“Don’t say it, Liam, I mean it.” I poked a finger into his chest.
“These dryads are going to do whatever they can to get to you. They’ve made that pretty obvious. If they take me—”
“No.”
“You cut and run—”
“Stop it!” I thrust my palm against his chest, forcing a grunt from his lips.
“You will not come after me, do you hear me? You keep our son safe. And if the rest of us are taken, too, you hide him away.”
Tears dripped off my cheek as I lay there facing him, dying inside. “You know I can’t do that. No matter how much my instincts are screaming at me to do it. It’s like there’s this angry beast in my body ready to tear off limbs if someone gets too near him. Fighting that protectiveness is harder than fighting my darkness was last year. But I have to stay, and so does he.”
“Your instincts are that way for a reason. Listen to them.”
“I will not abandon my people, no matter the cost to me, and you can’t either. I haven’t come this far to walk away now because I’m scared or because of my maternal instincts. If we fall, then all of us fall. What would be the point of running when Garret wouldn’t have a world to grow up in?”
Breath shuddering, Liam grabbed my face and pressed his forehead to mine. “I hate this,” he whispered against my lips before crushing his down on mine. Deep and desperate, his mouth explored my lips, my face, and grazed my throat. An explosion of tingles consumed me from everywhere he touched. Fingers kneading my arm, he rolled me closer, making little needful sounds low in his throat.
When he started tugging at my clothes, I shoved him back.
“Not that again,” he said, “I need you. I need to touch you, be touched. I need to love you.”
I shrugged. “Sorry. It just feels weird now that he’s becoming more aware. And besides, we have stuff to do.”
Liam’s breath came out in a huff. “There are still a few hours before we have to go to Windsor, and you’re wound up tighter than a hyper kid’s crank toy. I’ve been wanting to try something, anyway, and it’ll give us both what we need right now. Do you trust me?”
“Always.” It came out so fast, and without even a shred of hesitation, I shocked myself. Judging by Liam’s grin, I’d surprised him, too. Since we’d had so much distrust between us in the past, that admission was proof we’d come a long way in our relationship.
Giving in to my desire to be close to him for a few minutes, I relaxed. “What are you going to try?” It wasn’t like we didn’t explore the full spectrum of activities in the bedroom—very colorful, energetic, blush-inducing activities. I couldn’t imagine there being
“Lila, stop!” Liam threw his arms around me from behind, confining but not hurting. A flash of fear lit me up from inside.
Shit . I’d scared Garret.
Arms folded across my middle, I wrestled out of Liam’s grasp. Pressing my forearms against the wall, I rested my forehead against them while I blinked back tears. “There are too many people I care about now. And having this baby in me has done something crazy to my head. All I want to do is tuck him away somewhere so he’ll be safe, but I can’t, because then everyone else will suffer. The Magi aren’t going to stop until I’ve either done what they want or they’re shut down.” I sniffled and willed myself back into some semblance of composure. “I don’t know how to do this without losing my mind and everyone I love. Leading a nation and caring about shit sucks.”
Liam gave a half-hearted chuckle, pulled me into his arms and led me inside. As he laid me on the bed and crawled in beside me, all humor faded from him. Determined eyes stared back at me. He played fingers along my bare arm. “Listen to me, now—”
“Don’t say it, Liam, I mean it.” I poked a finger into his chest.
“These dryads are going to do whatever they can to get to you. They’ve made that pretty obvious. If they take me—”
“No.”
“You cut and run—”
“Stop it!” I thrust my palm against his chest, forcing a grunt from his lips.
“You will not come after me, do you hear me? You keep our son safe. And if the rest of us are taken, too, you hide him away.”
Tears dripped off my cheek as I lay there facing him, dying inside. “You know I can’t do that. No matter how much my instincts are screaming at me to do it. It’s like there’s this angry beast in my body ready to tear off limbs if someone gets too near him. Fighting that protectiveness is harder than fighting my darkness was last year. But I have to stay, and so does he.”
“Your instincts are that way for a reason. Listen to them.”
“I will not abandon my people, no matter the cost to me, and you can’t either. I haven’t come this far to walk away now because I’m scared or because of my maternal instincts. If we fall, then all of us fall. What would be the point of running when Garret wouldn’t have a world to grow up in?”
Breath shuddering, Liam grabbed my face and pressed his forehead to mine. “I hate this,” he whispered against my lips before crushing his down on mine. Deep and desperate, his mouth explored my lips, my face, and grazed my throat. An explosion of tingles consumed me from everywhere he touched. Fingers kneading my arm, he rolled me closer, making little needful sounds low in his throat.
When he started tugging at my clothes, I shoved him back.
“Not that again,” he said, “I need you. I need to touch you, be touched. I need to love you.”
I shrugged. “Sorry. It just feels weird now that he’s becoming more aware. And besides, we have stuff to do.”
Liam’s breath came out in a huff. “There are still a few hours before we have to go to Windsor, and you’re wound up tighter than a hyper kid’s crank toy. I’ve been wanting to try something, anyway, and it’ll give us both what we need right now. Do you trust me?”
“Always.” It came out so fast, and without even a shred of hesitation, I shocked myself. Judging by Liam’s grin, I’d surprised him, too. Since we’d had so much distrust between us in the past, that admission was proof we’d come a long way in our relationship.
Giving in to my desire to be close to him for a few minutes, I relaxed. “What are you going to try?” It wasn’t like we didn’t explore the full spectrum of activities in the bedroom—very colorful, energetic, blush-inducing activities. I couldn’t imagine there being
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