wrong for you to be here at all. I really think you ought to go.â
I tried to ask another question, but she shut her door in my face, and did not respond to my subsequent knocks. I was shocked by her abruptness; she did not even kiss me good-bye.
Â
Chapter 11
The dew of the morning
Sunk chill on my browâ
It felt like the warning
Of what I feel now.
Thy vows are all broken,
And light is thy fame:
I hear thy name spoken,
And share in its shame.
â Lord Byron, âWhen We Two Partedâ
When a man finds himself in low spirits and at the mercy of his enemies, it is natural that he will seek the most readily available source of comfort. So, stung by my failure to learn anything of use at the murder scene, or in my subsequent interrogation of Olivia Wright, I called upon Mrs. Jerome Tower.
Violet was a matronly twenty-eight years of age, but she was slight in the places a woman ought to be slight and ample in all the places a woman ought to be ample. Her husband was a Fellow at Trinity, and an instructor in literature. Heâd given me poor marks in a class my first year, complaining that my writing was self-centered and lacking in worldly knowledge. I took his criticism to heart; seeking to expand my experience and better myself, I obtained knowledge of the gentlemanâs wife by the end of that week. It was indeed a rewarding pursuit, and I enjoyed it thoroughly. I subsequently continued to follow Professor Towerâs advice and advanced my education at every opportunity.
Seducing maidens is a fraught and challenging enterprise; theyâre overly concerned with their marriage prospects. I was largely able to avoid becoming a target of anyoneâs matrimonial designs, due to rumors about my financial circumstances and my well-earned reputation for promiscuity, but my endeavors were substantially harmed by the belief among girls that involvement with me diminished their chance to ensnare other desirable men. I had, thusly, begun to direct my seductive efforts toward married women; they had already realized whatever value their virtue might have had, and were free to engage in philandering, a favorite sport of Englandâs idle classes, second only to foxhunting.
I found Violet in her home, with only her children, which she locked in a back room upon my arrival. We stripped and fell into her bed, saving the conversation until our lust was spent.
âYou taste strange,â she said, panting, as we lay tangled in the sheets.
âPerhaps itâs because I had food this afternoon. But I expect I taste mostly of wine and whisky; on miserable days like this, I must rely upon the nourishing and medicinal qualities of those edifying tonics.â
âIâm glad youâre eating again,â she said. âI was growing concerned for your health.â
Iâd recently completed a three-week weight-loss regimen during which I had engaged in regular, violent exercise and subsisted on bread alone, with nothing to drink but brine and strong spirits. This diet caused frequent vomiting, but liberal allowances of laudanum dulled the pain and buoyed my mood. Iâd come through it with a fashionable paleness of skin and I cut a rather svelte silhouette.
âIâm down to twelve stone, a loss of twenty-seven pounds in the last few months,â I said.
âYour bouts of asceticism seem to conflict with your hedonistic tendencies.â
âIf the hedonist fails to care for his body, it will serve him but poorly in his future hedonistic endeavors.â
âWell, given your tendencies toward self-annihilation, I am pleased to hear that youâre considering the future at all. Youâve certainly been neglecting your studies. My husband said all the Fellows at the College have been gossiping about your meeting today with the senior faculty. Were you expelled?â
âWould I be here with you now if I had been?â I asked.
âI really donât
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