Read Online Retribution by Ann Herendeen - Free Book Online

appearance, although she still clutched the
ragged doll that Lady Ladakh had given her. Except that her face
was so distinctive, I would hardly have recognized her for my
daughter.
    I held out my hand. “Come and give your
mother a kiss. Just one little kiss from such a beautiful girl will
be very restorative.”
    Jana watched me through narrowed eyes that
seemed to be constantly in motion, judging distances—between her
and my bed, from where she stood to the door. She looked around at
Isobel, then back to me, and shook her head. “No, Mama.”
    I thought I was going to be sick. My own
daughter was afraid of me. I sensed it now, the paralyzing fear
that permeated the household, that had everyone tiptoeing through
corridors and up and down stairs, not speaking, worried that the
slightest whisper could bring the attention of the mistress, the
terrifying ‘Gravina who had raged and fought against her own
husband, her rescuer. What might she do to a mere servant who
disturbed her sleep? Even the children needed protecting, according
to Isobel’s nervous thoughts.
    “Please, darling,” I said. “Come here.” My
voice, in my own fear, took on a peremptory, commanding tone.
    Jana’s hands squeezed tight around her doll.
She backed away until she bumped into the doorframe. Her inner
eyelids lowered involuntarily, turning slowly, as Dominic’s would,
from milky white, to silver, to the clear glass that provided both
protection and maximum light absorption. “Are you angry with me,
Mama?” she asked in formal speech. Translated literally, she had
asked whether she had grossly offended her lady mother. Her fear
made her turn to the ceremonial language like an incantation or a
ritual, just as Naomi and the guards had made the sign against evil
to shield themselves from Dominic’s power.
    If it gave Jana confidence, I would answer
her in the same language. “No, worthy daughter,” I said, “thou hast
not offended me. Wherefore should I be displeased with thee?”
    “My lady mother, I know not,” she said,
frowning at the effort required to conduct a conversation in this
complex language. She took a deep breath and broke into ordinary
speech. “You’re angry at Papa. You fought him. With crypta .”
Her reasoning was clear. She had seen what I had done to Dominic.
If I could attack him, what guarantee did she have of her own
safety?
    “I was sick when I fought Papa,” I said,
addressing my words to Jana, but speaking loud enough for Isobel to
hear also. The sooner I made a favorable impression on someone as
to the return of my mental stability, the sooner word might get out
to the rest of the household. “When a person’s as sick as I was, it
disrupts the mind as well as the body. I would never attack Papa on
purpose. It’s just that I didn’t know what I was doing.”
    Jana thought my words over in her sensible
way. “Are you sick now?” She was ready to run, her feet bracing in
the jumping-off position to leap through the doorway.
    “No, darling,” I said. “Only a little tired.”
I tried to smile. “Much too weak to use crypta at all.
You’ll have to tell me everything you’re thinking, I won’t be able
to hazard a guess.” The attempt at mild humor was a dud. “Please,
darling. Please don’t be afraid of me. You can’t really believe I
would hurt you.”
    The sadness in my voice made Jana pause in
her retreat but didn’t fully convince her. With her old familiar
scowl of jealous contempt she studied the tableau on the bed as Val
whined and fussed for my milk. Worried by the passive, feminine
child Jana had become, I was oddly grateful to see my daughter’s
fierce look.
    Val laughed at Jana’s hesitation. He was the
only person in the whole house, it seemed, whose feelings for me
hadn’t changed after last night’s display. My rage meant little to
him when directed solely at others. Light dawned in his mind as he
grasped a fantastic truth. “You’re scared,” he said, his voice
filled