Read Online Requiem for a Dream by Hubert Selby Jr. - Free Book Online

exactly how many were left . . . and what
they were. Four. Three dark chocolate, one milk chocolate. The milk
chocolate was a chocolate covered cherry with the cherry juice
filling. The other three was one caramel, one brazil nut, and one
nougat. The cherry was last. That was already pushed to the side of
the box so she wouldnt pick it up by mistake while watching
television. The others were first. Maybe she wouldnt even look what
one she was taking. But the schedule was made. Just like always. The
nougat, the brazil nut, then the caramel. Then wait as long as
possible before eating the chocolate covered cherry with the cherry
juice filling. She always played a game. For how many years the same
game? ten? Maybe more. Since her husband died. One night she let it
sit in the box alone ... all alone for the whole night. Even the
million dollar movie and the late show. She went to bed and it was
still there alone in the box with the empty brown papers that all the
other chocolates had been so sweetly nestled in. She had looked
defiantly at the candy before going to bed. She snapped her head at
the box and felt so ipsy pipsy as she undressed and nestled between
the sheets and fell almost instantly asleep. Her sleep was restful,
as far as she remembered, void of dreams of troubles, then she
suddenly bolted up in the middle of the night, her forehead pitted
with cold sweat, and for endless seconds she sat there staring into
the darkness, listening, wondering why she was awake and what had
awakened her and wondering if someone had broken into her apartment
and was about to hit her and she strained her ears but heard nothing
and sat perfectly still, barely breathing, for many seconds, then
jerked the covers off and rushed to the living room, going unerringly
through the dark to the table with the piece of chocolate and scooped
it up as if her hand had been divinely directed and almost fainting
as the first rush of flavor assailed her brain and she folded in her
viewing chair and listened to herself chomp the milk chocolate
covered cherry with the cherry juice filling, then staggered back to
her bed. The next morning she awoke early and sat in the soft
filtered light, trying to remember something, but not knowing what.
She vaguely sensed that something had happened and assumed it had
been a dream, but as hard as she tried she could not remember the
dream. She rubbed the soles of her feet and then her temples but
still she could not remember the dream. She hit her head for many
seconds with her knuckles trying to stimulate her memory, but
still... nothing. She got up and wandered, unthinkingly, into the
living room instead of the bathroom, turned on the television, and
suddenly became aware of herself as she was standing over her viewing
chair looking at the empty chocolate box. She stared for many long
moments, then she remembered her dream and almost collapsed in her
chair and shook slightly as she fully realized that she had eaten the
chocolate covered cherry with the cherry juice filling the night
before and couldnt really remember eating it. She tried remembering
biting into it and feeling the cherry juice oozing onto her tongue,
but her mind and mouth were empty. She almost cried as she remembered
how she had fought so hard to make the box of chocolates last two
days, something that had never happened before, twice as long as ever
before, and she was going to save the last for morning so she could
say it was three days and now it was gone and she didnt even remember
eating it. That was a bleak day in the life of Sara Goldfarb. She
never let that happen again. Never again was she so foolish as to try
and make it last or save it for later or the next day. Tomorrow would
take care of itself. God gives us one day at a time, so one day at a
time shes eating her chocolates and knowing she ate them. She smiled
at the handsome announcer and reached over and gently picked up her
final chocolate, the milk chocolate covered cherry with the