them. It was the first time I thought I had a chance of having a real family.”
I buried my face back in his chest and allowed a few tears to fall. Here he was asking me what made me happy, and I was telling him about how naive I was to think my bouts of happiness didn’t have expiration dates.
“What happened?” He rested his chin on top of my head and pulled me in even closer, probably sensing that, like everything else in my life, this story didn’t have a happily ever after.
I pulled the hood up on the sweatshirt and rubbed the side of it on my wet face. Holden took my hand in his and placed it on his chest, then gently used his finger to wipe away my tears. “I notice you use objects to comfort yourself. Will you let me do that for you, please?”
The sincerity in his eyes weakened my reluctance and gave me a moment to dream about what that would feel like. Letting someone else take care of me, watch out for me—protect me. It was all so new. I was used to taking care of myself.
Maybe still somewhat guarded, I nodded slowly. “I never realized I did that. I guess it was safer than depending on someone else.”
I closed my eyes, enjoying his calming fingers as they caressed my skin, then I sighed as I continued my story. “Jonathan had a heart attack and died. Hilary was never the same. She started ignoring me, and the next thing I knew, I was back in the group home. What they failed to realize was I needed to grieve, too. I lost more than Jonathan, I lost my dream.” I began to choke up but tried to hide it by bringing up a harsh reality. “That’s when I realized love isn’t always a good thing. As much as it could bring life, it could also destroy. I saw it firsthand with Hilary.” As soon as those words were out of my mouth, I realized what I’d said. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told that story after what you shared about your dad.”
Crap, I was sticking my foot in my mouth left and right tonight. No wonder why I never opened my fucking mouth about my feelings.
He gave a slightly sad smile. “We’re not so different after all. Both of us have felt the loss of a parent figure and were unable to comfort the one left behind.” Embracing me tighter, he added, “Life changes so quickly, and people think kids bounce back easily. We both know we needed time to say good-bye, find our new way in life. Maybe this is something we can work on together.”
He scooted up to give my legs room to encircle him. It seemed like he was trying to get us as close as possible. “If my dad was here, he’d say that he wouldn’t change the fact that he had the chance to love my mom before she passed.” His knuckles left tingles on my hypersensitive skin as they trailed down the side of my face, moving my hair out of the way. “My dad’s a romantic at heart. I guess that’s where I take after him.”
Although the temperature had dropped outside, my body was starting to heat up due to the flood of emotions washing over me.
“Love isn’t something to regret, Jules. Anything in life can destroy you, but I’d rather be so deeply affected by someone that I’m willing to fight against all odds for her than never experience it.”
Oh. Wow.
His words were so true, but they touched me in a way I never thought possible. My breathing slowed down as my heart rate increased. Holden could be that person for me after all. Maybe he’d break my heart, destroy me, but would it all be worth it?
I felt my decision in my actions as I pulled myself up on his lap, wrapped my arms around him, and attacked his lips with my own. Without hesitation, his fingers threaded through my hair as we passionately devoured each other’s open mouths. I was on fire and wanted to get rid of the barrier of clothes between us. Pulling away for just a second, I ripped the hoodie and my t-shirt off, grinding myself against him. The weather was no longer a factor. All I needed was Holden to keep me
I buried my face back in his chest and allowed a few tears to fall. Here he was asking me what made me happy, and I was telling him about how naive I was to think my bouts of happiness didn’t have expiration dates.
“What happened?” He rested his chin on top of my head and pulled me in even closer, probably sensing that, like everything else in my life, this story didn’t have a happily ever after.
I pulled the hood up on the sweatshirt and rubbed the side of it on my wet face. Holden took my hand in his and placed it on his chest, then gently used his finger to wipe away my tears. “I notice you use objects to comfort yourself. Will you let me do that for you, please?”
The sincerity in his eyes weakened my reluctance and gave me a moment to dream about what that would feel like. Letting someone else take care of me, watch out for me—protect me. It was all so new. I was used to taking care of myself.
Maybe still somewhat guarded, I nodded slowly. “I never realized I did that. I guess it was safer than depending on someone else.”
I closed my eyes, enjoying his calming fingers as they caressed my skin, then I sighed as I continued my story. “Jonathan had a heart attack and died. Hilary was never the same. She started ignoring me, and the next thing I knew, I was back in the group home. What they failed to realize was I needed to grieve, too. I lost more than Jonathan, I lost my dream.” I began to choke up but tried to hide it by bringing up a harsh reality. “That’s when I realized love isn’t always a good thing. As much as it could bring life, it could also destroy. I saw it firsthand with Hilary.” As soon as those words were out of my mouth, I realized what I’d said. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told that story after what you shared about your dad.”
Crap, I was sticking my foot in my mouth left and right tonight. No wonder why I never opened my fucking mouth about my feelings.
He gave a slightly sad smile. “We’re not so different after all. Both of us have felt the loss of a parent figure and were unable to comfort the one left behind.” Embracing me tighter, he added, “Life changes so quickly, and people think kids bounce back easily. We both know we needed time to say good-bye, find our new way in life. Maybe this is something we can work on together.”
He scooted up to give my legs room to encircle him. It seemed like he was trying to get us as close as possible. “If my dad was here, he’d say that he wouldn’t change the fact that he had the chance to love my mom before she passed.” His knuckles left tingles on my hypersensitive skin as they trailed down the side of my face, moving my hair out of the way. “My dad’s a romantic at heart. I guess that’s where I take after him.”
Although the temperature had dropped outside, my body was starting to heat up due to the flood of emotions washing over me.
“Love isn’t something to regret, Jules. Anything in life can destroy you, but I’d rather be so deeply affected by someone that I’m willing to fight against all odds for her than never experience it.”
Oh. Wow.
His words were so true, but they touched me in a way I never thought possible. My breathing slowed down as my heart rate increased. Holden could be that person for me after all. Maybe he’d break my heart, destroy me, but would it all be worth it?
I felt my decision in my actions as I pulled myself up on his lap, wrapped my arms around him, and attacked his lips with my own. Without hesitation, his fingers threaded through my hair as we passionately devoured each other’s open mouths. I was on fire and wanted to get rid of the barrier of clothes between us. Pulling away for just a second, I ripped the hoodie and my t-shirt off, grinding myself against him. The weather was no longer a factor. All I needed was Holden to keep me
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