shouts, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me for effect.
If there was anything I ever coveted of Natalie’s, it was her job. She gets to spend every summer chatting with people from school while making great money. She gets the lowdown on breakups, makeups, and cheaters before almost everyone else because of what she sees and overhears while serving hot, delicious slices of cheesy goodness. Natalie has been begging them for years to let me come work for them but I know her mom never wanted me there for whatever reason. I want to be happy about it, but it just reminds me how people are going to start treating me differently because Mom died.
“Wow,” I finally force out, knowing that Natalie is waiting for my response. “That would be awesome, but I’m just not sure I can handle dealing with all the pity looks.”
“It will be good for you. I promise.” She leans back against my pillows and I know that she is already daydreaming about us perfectly spinning pizza crusts into the air and living happily ever after. I hate that I’m going to have to crush her like this.
“Natalie, I just can’t.”
“What the hell, Rip? We’ve wanted this forever. It’s our last summer together. Once August comes, we’ll only see each other on the holidays,” she reminds me. I don’t bother telling her that I’ll probably be looking into community college now because I know she won’t understand and I don’t have the energy for another battle.
“We’ll still be together all the time.” The words sound weak, even to me.
“I feel like I’m losing you, too,” Natalie says, breaking my heart.
“You’ll never lose me,” I promise, clasping her hands.
“I know you’re going through all this stuff and I know I don’t even begin to understand but I feel like there is something else going on with us. Did I do something? Because if I did, I want to fix it. Just tell me what I did,” she pleads.
I’ve done things I felt bad about before. Like being too lazy to take my shopping cart back to the corral then peeling away when I see a strong wind drive it straight into the side of a brand new car, or not braking every time a stupid squirrel runs out in front of me, but watching Natalie plead with me when I know the weirdness she is sensing is my guilt over sleeping with her brother is the worst. I thought I could just bury the night I had with Knox deep in my mind but it keeps popping up and forcing me to relive it every time I close my eyes. Worse than that, I almost crave him. Even if us being together wouldn’t kill my best friend, Knox changes women like he changes his socks. I guarantee he hasn’t given me one thought since that night.
“You haven’t done anything, Natalie. I’m just really mixed up about stuff. You’ve been so amazing and I hope you know how much I love you.”
“I know you think that my parents are just offering you this job out of guilt but they’ve been talking about hiring you for several months. I just didn’t want to get your hopes up before I knew it was a sure thing.”
A soft knock on the door interrupts us and Dad peeks his head in.
“Sorry to bother you girls but I was just wondering if these go together?” he asks, holding out a navy blue button-down shirt and a plum colored tie.
“Only if you want people to think you’re color blind,” Nat jokes. “Do you have any red ties?”
“I think I do. Thanks, Natalie.” He backs out of the room and closes the door.
“He’s really doing it.” I say, shocked. “He’s really going back to work.”
“He has to, Rip. He’s got a mortgage and a car payment and all that other responsible shit that adults have to worry about. It doesn’t mean he loves her any less if he goes on living his life. Just like it wouldn’t mean that you loved her any less if you started living yours.”
I know she’s right. Ten days ago, I would have been jumping up and down at the prospect of working every night with Natalie at a fun
If there was anything I ever coveted of Natalie’s, it was her job. She gets to spend every summer chatting with people from school while making great money. She gets the lowdown on breakups, makeups, and cheaters before almost everyone else because of what she sees and overhears while serving hot, delicious slices of cheesy goodness. Natalie has been begging them for years to let me come work for them but I know her mom never wanted me there for whatever reason. I want to be happy about it, but it just reminds me how people are going to start treating me differently because Mom died.
“Wow,” I finally force out, knowing that Natalie is waiting for my response. “That would be awesome, but I’m just not sure I can handle dealing with all the pity looks.”
“It will be good for you. I promise.” She leans back against my pillows and I know that she is already daydreaming about us perfectly spinning pizza crusts into the air and living happily ever after. I hate that I’m going to have to crush her like this.
“Natalie, I just can’t.”
“What the hell, Rip? We’ve wanted this forever. It’s our last summer together. Once August comes, we’ll only see each other on the holidays,” she reminds me. I don’t bother telling her that I’ll probably be looking into community college now because I know she won’t understand and I don’t have the energy for another battle.
“We’ll still be together all the time.” The words sound weak, even to me.
“I feel like I’m losing you, too,” Natalie says, breaking my heart.
“You’ll never lose me,” I promise, clasping her hands.
“I know you’re going through all this stuff and I know I don’t even begin to understand but I feel like there is something else going on with us. Did I do something? Because if I did, I want to fix it. Just tell me what I did,” she pleads.
I’ve done things I felt bad about before. Like being too lazy to take my shopping cart back to the corral then peeling away when I see a strong wind drive it straight into the side of a brand new car, or not braking every time a stupid squirrel runs out in front of me, but watching Natalie plead with me when I know the weirdness she is sensing is my guilt over sleeping with her brother is the worst. I thought I could just bury the night I had with Knox deep in my mind but it keeps popping up and forcing me to relive it every time I close my eyes. Worse than that, I almost crave him. Even if us being together wouldn’t kill my best friend, Knox changes women like he changes his socks. I guarantee he hasn’t given me one thought since that night.
“You haven’t done anything, Natalie. I’m just really mixed up about stuff. You’ve been so amazing and I hope you know how much I love you.”
“I know you think that my parents are just offering you this job out of guilt but they’ve been talking about hiring you for several months. I just didn’t want to get your hopes up before I knew it was a sure thing.”
A soft knock on the door interrupts us and Dad peeks his head in.
“Sorry to bother you girls but I was just wondering if these go together?” he asks, holding out a navy blue button-down shirt and a plum colored tie.
“Only if you want people to think you’re color blind,” Nat jokes. “Do you have any red ties?”
“I think I do. Thanks, Natalie.” He backs out of the room and closes the door.
“He’s really doing it.” I say, shocked. “He’s really going back to work.”
“He has to, Rip. He’s got a mortgage and a car payment and all that other responsible shit that adults have to worry about. It doesn’t mean he loves her any less if he goes on living his life. Just like it wouldn’t mean that you loved her any less if you started living yours.”
I know she’s right. Ten days ago, I would have been jumping up and down at the prospect of working every night with Natalie at a fun
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