pretty sure it was my fault. Maybe I overreacted a little. Or a lot. I just don’t understand why he’s always worrying about where Jade’s at and what she’s doing. I wonder if he spends half as much time thinking about our relationship or lack thereof.
Does he have feelings for Jade beyond friendship? I’ve never gotten a straight answer on whether or not they’ve ever actually dated. I wonder if they’ve ever hooked up? Could that be what this is about? It’s a disturbing thought. The very idea of it makes my head hurt. It makes some other things hurt too, but I refuse to acknowledge the painful ache in my chest. Whatever. It doesn’t matter. No strings, no heartache. And definitely no jealousy.
Chapter Nine
“Alright, dish,” Shaye says, grabbing my shoulder bag from my hands and holding it just out of reach. “You’ve been slamming around this place for weeks. What’s going on with you?”
“Nothing.” I hold out my hand expectantly. I haven’t told her about the fight with Nik. I’m a little ashamed. Plus, it’s just downright embarrassing. “Can I have my bag back please?”
“Not until you tell me what’s eating you,” she says firmly. “It’s Nikolai, isn’t it? What happened?”
Nik and I haven’t spoken since Halloween. I can’t seem to choke out an apology any more than I can stop thinking about him with Jade. The thought of them together is nauseating. I can’t stand the idea of him kissing her the way he kisses me. It’s affecting my school work and evidently it’s also getting between me and Shaye. I really don’t feel like talking about it, but maybe it will help.
“What gave it away?” I ask, resigned to indulging Shaye’s curiosity.
“Are you serious?” she asks, snickering. “Let’s see. What gave it away? Was it Nikolai’s total lack of presence at dinner? Or maybe the fact that you’ve been skipping your training sessions with him? Or maybe it was your grumpy, man-hating attitude lately? Yeah, I think that was it,” she says, feigning a thoughtful look as she taps her finger on her chin.
“I guess I did kind of lose it during Infidelity last night,” I concede. “But that’s what you get for making me watch that garbage with you.”
“What was the fight about?” Shaye asks, looking sympathetic. Maybe she’s been through this before?
“I don’t know,” I lie. Shaye gives me the evil eye. “Okay. Yes, we had a fight. Yes, it was entirely my fault. I totally freaked out on him and I said some really nasty things. I was just so tired of him worrying about Jade all of the time!” I finish, cringing at the defensiveness of my own words.
“Because?” she prompts.
“Because what?” I ask, playing dumb. I’m pretty sure I know what she’s getting at and I’m not going there.
“Because you’re jealous?”
“No!” I snap without thinking. “I am not jealous. I have no reason to be. We aren’t together.”
“That’s the problem,” she tells me, shaking her head knowingly. Shaye Walker, relationship therapist. “Babe, you need to DTR.”
“I’m sure this won’t come as any great shock, but I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I tell her. “English, please?”
“Define. The. Relationship.” She enunciates each word carefully so that even a remedial dater like me can understand. “You and Nikolai have this open, undefined thing going on. That’s great for a while, but it can never last.”
“Why not?” I ask. “Seems to be working okay so far.”
“If it’s working so well,” she asks, checking her watch pointedly, “what are you doing sitting here with me when you should be training with Nikolai?”
It’s kind of hard to argue with her logic. Shaye’s great company, but I sort of miss training.
“I’m telling you it won’t work because one of you will always end up wanting more. I’m just surprised it’s you,” she says, knitting her brows together thoughtfully. “Who’d have
Does he have feelings for Jade beyond friendship? I’ve never gotten a straight answer on whether or not they’ve ever actually dated. I wonder if they’ve ever hooked up? Could that be what this is about? It’s a disturbing thought. The very idea of it makes my head hurt. It makes some other things hurt too, but I refuse to acknowledge the painful ache in my chest. Whatever. It doesn’t matter. No strings, no heartache. And definitely no jealousy.
Chapter Nine
“Alright, dish,” Shaye says, grabbing my shoulder bag from my hands and holding it just out of reach. “You’ve been slamming around this place for weeks. What’s going on with you?”
“Nothing.” I hold out my hand expectantly. I haven’t told her about the fight with Nik. I’m a little ashamed. Plus, it’s just downright embarrassing. “Can I have my bag back please?”
“Not until you tell me what’s eating you,” she says firmly. “It’s Nikolai, isn’t it? What happened?”
Nik and I haven’t spoken since Halloween. I can’t seem to choke out an apology any more than I can stop thinking about him with Jade. The thought of them together is nauseating. I can’t stand the idea of him kissing her the way he kisses me. It’s affecting my school work and evidently it’s also getting between me and Shaye. I really don’t feel like talking about it, but maybe it will help.
“What gave it away?” I ask, resigned to indulging Shaye’s curiosity.
“Are you serious?” she asks, snickering. “Let’s see. What gave it away? Was it Nikolai’s total lack of presence at dinner? Or maybe the fact that you’ve been skipping your training sessions with him? Or maybe it was your grumpy, man-hating attitude lately? Yeah, I think that was it,” she says, feigning a thoughtful look as she taps her finger on her chin.
“I guess I did kind of lose it during Infidelity last night,” I concede. “But that’s what you get for making me watch that garbage with you.”
“What was the fight about?” Shaye asks, looking sympathetic. Maybe she’s been through this before?
“I don’t know,” I lie. Shaye gives me the evil eye. “Okay. Yes, we had a fight. Yes, it was entirely my fault. I totally freaked out on him and I said some really nasty things. I was just so tired of him worrying about Jade all of the time!” I finish, cringing at the defensiveness of my own words.
“Because?” she prompts.
“Because what?” I ask, playing dumb. I’m pretty sure I know what she’s getting at and I’m not going there.
“Because you’re jealous?”
“No!” I snap without thinking. “I am not jealous. I have no reason to be. We aren’t together.”
“That’s the problem,” she tells me, shaking her head knowingly. Shaye Walker, relationship therapist. “Babe, you need to DTR.”
“I’m sure this won’t come as any great shock, but I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I tell her. “English, please?”
“Define. The. Relationship.” She enunciates each word carefully so that even a remedial dater like me can understand. “You and Nikolai have this open, undefined thing going on. That’s great for a while, but it can never last.”
“Why not?” I ask. “Seems to be working okay so far.”
“If it’s working so well,” she asks, checking her watch pointedly, “what are you doing sitting here with me when you should be training with Nikolai?”
It’s kind of hard to argue with her logic. Shaye’s great company, but I sort of miss training.
“I’m telling you it won’t work because one of you will always end up wanting more. I’m just surprised it’s you,” she says, knitting her brows together thoughtfully. “Who’d have
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