Read Online Reckless Heart by Madeline Baker - Free Book Online

meeting her eyes.
    Still holding my hand, Mother sat quietly for a moment, studying my face. Then, in her dear sweet voice, she said, “Hannah, you know how fond I am of Shadow. I couldn’t love him more if he were my own flesh and blood, but Hannah dear, he is an Indian. And even though he speaks English almost as well as you do, and even though he seems just like one of the family when he’s here, he isn’t one of us and never will be.”
    I couldn’t believe my ears. She sounded just like Pa! I felt as if I had been betrayed. I had been so certain she would be happy for me—happy for Shadow—because we were in love. In the back of my mind, I had been counting on her support, counting on her to make Pa see things my way. And now this.
    Impatiently, I said, “Oh, Mother, you don’t understand. I…”
    “But I do understand, child. That’s just the trouble. You and Shadow haven’t done anything we need to worry about, have you?”
    I felt my cheeks flame as I realized what she was implying, and said, rather indignantly, “Mother, really!”
    “Don’t look so shocked, Hannah. I know what goes on between a boy and a girl.”
    “We haven’t done anything wrong,” I said sullenly. “Honest.”
    “I believe you, dear,” Mother said, squeezing my hand. “And I think it would be best for all concerned if you end it now, before it goes too far.”
    “I can’t. I love him more than anything in the world.”
    “I know, child,” Mother said sympathetically. “I can see it in your eyes. But it will never work.”
    “We’ll make it work!” I cried passionately. “I love him with all my heart, and he loves me.”
    “Sometimes love isn’t enough, Hannah,” Mother remarked quietly. “Where will you live? Here, in the valley? I don’t think so. Our neighbors would never accept him.”
    “Then we’ll live with the Cheyenne.”
    “Do you think you would be happy there, living with strangers—knowing you would never belong?”
    “I don’t know.”
    “Perhaps you should think about it carefully before you rush into something you may regret. I doubt if Shadow’s people would accept you any more readily than folks here would cotton to Shadow. And in the meantime, it will only get worse. You heard what Shadow said to your father. If war comes, it won’t be safe for Shadow to show his face anywhere near the trading post. And it won’t be safe for you to leave the protection of these walls, either.”
    Tears of despair and frustration welled in my eyes. Jerking my hand from Mother’s, I walked over to the window and stood staring out into the darkness. Out there, somewhere beyond the trees and across the river, was the man I loved. What difference did it make that he was an Indian? If I didn’t care about the color of his skin, why should anyone else? No one would care if he were Dutch or French.
    “Hannah, perhaps if you gave Joshua another chance…?”
    “Joshua!” I exclaimed. “You must be kidding.”
    “He loves you. He would make you a fine husband.”
    “Never! If I can’t marry Shadow, I won’t marry at all!”
    “Has he asked you?”
    “No,” I admitted miserably. Mother had touched a sore spot that time. I had been waiting—hoping Shadow would propose, but he never did. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he didn’t love me as much as I loved him. Maybe he didn’t love me at all. He had never said so.
    Resolutely, I put such thoughts from my mind. He did love me. I knew he did. His eyes and his kisses could not lie.
    “I doubt if he will,” Mother said gently. “Shadow is a realist even if you are not. He knows it would never work.”
    “It would work, if everybody would just leave us alone.”
    “Hannah, marriage is hard enough when two people share the same background and the same beliefs. Without a common heritage, it’s almost sure to fail.”
    “Oh, leave me alone!” I cried petulantly, and ran from the room, blinded by my tears. Why couldn’t she understand how I felt?