Read Online Real Vampires Know Hips Happen by Gerry Bartlett - Free Book Online

relatives.”
    “Lucky?” Jerry collapsed on the sofa. “I don’t like it, Da. All these coincidences. This woman arrives and right away I’m stabbed with some potion that takes my mind with it. And by Mara! An old and trusted friend.” Jerry narrowed his gaze on me. “Are you in league with this O’Connor who’ll be arriving shortly?”
    “I’ve never met him.” I threw up my hands. “This woman ?” I felt wounded but wouldn’t let him see my pain. “Damn it, Jerry, I came here to straighten things out between us. So that we could try again. Make a fresh start.”
    “What went wrong between us? Why do we need a fresh start after all these years?” Jerry stood, facing me. “I obviously left you in that place where we lived together and came home alone. What set me off, Gloriana? Was I with another woman? Or were you with another man?”
    I gnawed my lower lip. Angus stared at me too. I figured I might as well get this over with. “You were faithful to me Jerry. Always.” I tried and failed at a smile. “But I, I wasn’t so good at the relationship. I had an affair. It was a terrible mistake. But I found out there was a reason I have these urges that, that make me stray.”
    “Urges.” The look of distaste on Angus’s face made me want to run right out of the castle. “No wonder you left her, Son. Good riddance, I say. Campbells have pride. There’s no reason I can think of to justify taking back a woman who has been unfaithful.”
    “Just listen to me.” I could see that both men were ready to toss me out of the castle on my well-cushioned fanny. “I don’t think I could help myself. I just discovered that I used to be a Siren, Angus. Before Jerry found me in London.” I blurted it out and got the incredulous looks I’d expected.
    “A Siren? Are ye daft?” Angus stomped his foot. “What nonsense. Don’t believe her, Jeremiah. They aren’t of this world and certainly not the likes of this piece of work standinghere before us.” He grabbed Jerry’s arm and jerked him well away from me.
    “Stop, Da. Let her speak. A Siren? And how is that possible?” Jerry stumbled to the sofa, his face pale.
    I’d never seen him weak before and it broke my heart. What had my mother’s potion done to him? What was it still doing to him? I started to move closer but the look on his father’s face stopped me cold. Angus had murder in his eyes, his fangs were down, and I knew how he felt. Oh, boy, did I know. If I had my so-called mother here now, I’d tear open her throat and watch her bleed out, enjoy her painful death. I stepped back, giving Jerry his space. Angus still watched me, obviously ready to jump me if I so much as touched his son.
    “Okay, here’s the truth.”
    “Truth. I should hope so.” At least Angus’s fangs had disappeared and he sat in his recliner.
    “It seems that before I met you, the Storm God, who is in charge of Sirens, was unhappy with me. He tossed me out of his, um, harem and punished me by making me human.” Angus made a noise of disbelief but Jerry leaned forward, listening.
    “Go on. Are you saying you were human when I met you?” He rubbed his forehead. Headache again. I twisted my hands together to keep from reaching for him.
    “Yes! Achelous figured I’d die a natural death on my own. When you saw me onstage and fell in…in love with me, you had no idea what I’d been and I didn’t remember my past. Achy wiped away my memories and planted false ones.” I realized how ridiculous this story sounded but rushed on. “Anyway, being made vampire gave me back my immortality. Which Achelous didn’t know about until recently.” I wiped my damp palms on my skirt. It was another short one. Yes, Jerry had noticed. I eased a little closer.
    “That doesn’t explain why you never married me, Gloriana. If you say you love me, why wouldn’t you?” He glared at me and I was pretty sure not all of the pain in those darkeyes was from his aching head. “And why did