Read Online Randoms by David Liss - Free Book Online

“It’s your decision. What do you really want?”
    We sat in two armchairs across from each other. She leaned forward and took my hand.
    â€œI don’t want to leave you alone,” I told her, “but I do want to go.”
    â€œBecause going off into space seems like a fun adventure or because you want to accomplish whatever tasks they give you and take all our problems away? Do you want to go for yourself, or to search for a cure for me?”
    â€œBoth,” I told her, which was the truth.
    She let go of my hand and leaned back. “I don’t want to spend a year alone,” she said. “You’re all I have, Zeke, and I’mscared. I don’t want to watch my days and weeks and months vanish forever. But I also know that’s selfish, which is why I decided to let you do this.”
    I was relieved, and also a little hurt. Maybe I wanted it to be a harder decision for her. “Are you sure you can get by without me?”
    â€œNo, I’m not sure, but this is the most amazing experience you could possibly have, and I would be a monster if I took that away from you. It’s also your duty to your country and to your planet—though I can’t believe I just said that out loud. I won’t be a selfish mother who holds on to her child despite the consequences to the world. The whole world, Zeke, is depending on you to do this, even if they don’t know it, and I can’t stand in your way.”
    I nodded.
    â€œAnd there’s another reason,” she said. She wiped at her eyes with the tips of her fingers. “What’s coming for me is going to be bad. We both know it, but what keeps me awake at night is not how bad it will be for me, but what it will be like for you. You’re too young to have to deal with taking care of me, how I’m going to become.” She paused to take a breath. “Maybe what you do on this space station will help me, and maybe it won’t, but I can’t ask you to watch me fall apart knowing you could have helped, could have at least tried to do something, but I wouldn’t let you. If I do that, you will come to hate me, and that seems worse than anything.”
    I was feeling like I was on the verge of tears now. I knew she wouldn’t mind if I cried, but I was a big-boy space adventurer now, and crying seemed like a step backward.
    â€œWhat are you going to tell people?”
    â€œThey’ll invent a cover story about boarding school, so you don’t need to worry about that,” she said, seeming to take comfort in the discussion of organizational details. “Do you want to see what I packed? There might still be time if I forgot anything important.”
    â€œI wish you hadn’t had to go in my room,” I said as I walked over to the duffel bag. “It’s kind of a mess.”
    â€œNo kidding.”
    I looked through the stuff quickly, and by all appearances my mother had done a fine job. She had sent me off with mostly jeans and short-sleeved shirts, but also a few long-sleeved shirts, a sweater, and my favorite Justice League T-shirt. She hadn’t packed my ultracool Tenth Doctor coat but she had thrown in my ultracool Firefly coat and matching Firefly suspenders. She’d also put one of my Martian Manhunter action figures in there. She knew I would want it. It was like taking my father’s memory to the stars with me.
    â€œThere’s one more thing,” she said, and then pressed a little cardboard box into my hand. Inside was a silver locket on a chain. I had never been much for jewelry, even less so for ladies’ jewelry, but I decided if I waited patiently, I’d get an explanation.
    â€œNo, you don’t have to put it on.” She laughed and shook her head. “I never thought I’d have to give this to you.”
    â€œWhat is it?” I asked. “I’ve never seen you wear it—I don’t think.”
    â€œNo,” she