âItâs your decision. What do you really want?â
We sat in two armchairs across from each other. She leaned forward and took my hand.
âI donât want to leave you alone,â I told her, âbut I do want to go.â
âBecause going off into space seems like a fun adventure or because you want to accomplish whatever tasks they give you and take all our problems away? Do you want to go for yourself, or to search for a cure for me?â
âBoth,â I told her, which was the truth.
She let go of my hand and leaned back. âI donât want to spend a year alone,â she said. âYouâre all I have, Zeke, and Iâmscared. I donât want to watch my days and weeks and months vanish forever. But I also know thatâs selfish, which is why I decided to let you do this.â
I was relieved, and also a little hurt. Maybe I wanted it to be a harder decision for her. âAre you sure you can get by without me?â
âNo, Iâm not sure, but this is the most amazing experience you could possibly have, and I would be a monster if I took that away from you. Itâs also your duty to your country and to your planetâthough I canât believe I just said that out loud. I wonât be a selfish mother who holds on to her child despite the consequences to the world. The whole world, Zeke, is depending on you to do this, even if they donât know it, and I canât stand in your way.â
I nodded.
âAnd thereâs another reason,â she said. She wiped at her eyes with the tips of her fingers. âWhatâs coming for me is going to be bad. We both know it, but what keeps me awake at night is not how bad it will be for me, but what it will be like for you. Youâre too young to have to deal with taking care of me, how Iâm going to become.â She paused to take a breath. âMaybe what you do on this space station will help me, and maybe it wonât, but I canât ask you to watch me fall apart knowing you could have helped, could have at least tried to do something, but I wouldnât let you. If I do that, you will come to hate me, and that seems worse than anything.â
I was feeling like I was on the verge of tears now. I knew she wouldnât mind if I cried, but I was a big-boy space adventurer now, and crying seemed like a step backward.
âWhat are you going to tell people?â
âTheyâll invent a cover story about boarding school, so you donât need to worry about that,â she said, seeming to take comfort in the discussion of organizational details. âDo you want to see what I packed? There might still be time if I forgot anything important.â
âI wish you hadnât had to go in my room,â I said as I walked over to the duffel bag. âItâs kind of a mess.â
âNo kidding.â
I looked through the stuff quickly, and by all appearances my mother had done a fine job. She had sent me off with mostly jeans and short-sleeved shirts, but also a few long-sleeved shirts, a sweater, and my favorite Justice League T-shirt. She hadnât packed my ultracool Tenth Doctor coat but she had thrown in my ultracool Firefly coat and matching Firefly suspenders. Sheâd also put one of my Martian Manhunter action figures in there. She knew I would want it. It was like taking my fatherâs memory to the stars with me.
âThereâs one more thing,â she said, and then pressed a little cardboard box into my hand. Inside was a silver locket on a chain. I had never been much for jewelry, even less so for ladiesâ jewelry, but I decided if I waited patiently, Iâd get an explanation.
âNo, you donât have to put it on.â She laughed and shook her head. âI never thought Iâd have to give this to you.â
âWhat is it?â I asked. âIâve never seen you wear itâI donât think.â
âNo,â she
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