only reason you look like someone stole your motorcycle?”
I throw her a warning look, which she heeds, turning to stare out the window.
I put on some music and drive to the diner to grab some food.
It doesn’t taste as good as I know Bailey’s would.
SEVEN
Bailey
I FEEL like my life is a series of awkward events,” Tia says as she blows on her coffee the next morning.
“What happened now?” I ask, running my fingers through my hair, trying to tame it a little. It was the next afternoon, and we’d both just gotten home from work. Our kids were doing their homework in Cara’s room together.
“Dentist guy asked me out on a date,” she grumbles.
I gasp. “You said no, right?”
Tia worked as a dental assistant, so going out with essentially her boss would be a pretty stupid fucking idea.
“Of course I said no,” she says, waving her hand in the air. “So we just had sex on the patient chair instead.”
My jaw drops open. Did she just say. . . ? “Tia, what the hell were you thinking? So now you have to face him? It’s going to be awkward as hell.”
“It won’t be that awkward for me,” she says, sipping her coffee casually. “I’d be more embarrassed if I were him, and had a penis that small.”
I cover my face with my hands. “You didn’t tell him that, did you? Because if you did, you’re probably currently unemployed.”
“No, of course I didn’t. I’m not that mean. I was all . . . ‘Oooh your cock makes my mouth water’ and afterward, I even pretended to be sore.”
Oh my god.
I blink slowly a few times, processing this extreme amount of too much information. “How are we friends?”
Tia laughs, her blue eyes sparkling with humor. “Because of the no-judgment clause in our friendship agreement.”
My lips twitch at that. “You aren’t going to sleep with him again are you? It’s the worst idea you’ve had, and you’ve had many. You’re not supposed to shit where you eat.”
She wrinkles her nose. “Is that a real saying?”
“Yes.”
She sighs, putting down her mug. “I told you, he has the tiniest penis, so no, I won’t be going there again. It looked small in his pants, but I thought that maybe he was a grower, not a shower, you know? But he’s neither.”
I want to laugh at the look on her face. She looks so sad about the whole thing. “It happens. Maybe he’s a really nice guy. Or maybe he’s good with his hands and mouth. You can’t be penis racist. Penis discrimination! It’s a thing.”
She rolls her eyes. “Everyone has things they aren’t willing to compromise on. For some it might be height, or money, or whatever; for me it is penis size. Don’t judge me, Bailey, just accept me as I am. And for the record, he isn’t talented with his hands or mouth either. I usually find men are either good at fucking or with their hands or mouth—either or. But this guy wasn’t good at anything. Such a shame.”
I try to contain my laughter but fail this time. “You’re fucking hilarious. I don’t have a deal-breaker thing, I don’t think.”
“Yes, you do,” she replies drolly. “It’s height. You never go near short guys. That’s your thing.”
“Well, aside from that, I’m not shallow!” I reply a little defensively. Yeah, I wasn’t feeling the short-guy thing. I was about five feet seven inches and I wanted a guy who was at least six foot.
Adam is about six three, my mind reminds me.
Yeah, true. But he’s also an egotistical asshole.
“I bet Adam has a huge cock. Doesn’t he? You can tell me. I won’t announce it on social media like I did with the dentist,” she says, wiggling her eyebrows.
Did I mention his name out loud? I don’t think I did. It must be a coincidence she said his name as I thought it. Only then do I realize what Tia just said.
I gasp. “You didn’t!
She shrugs.
Christ, this woman!
“Does he? Spill!” she almost yells.
I puff out a breath, an image of Adam’s cock filling my mind.
Long,
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