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as you may hate him, for whatever reason you may have. That road will only lead to you hanging from a gibbet or renouncing your title and running for the rest of your days.”
“I understand.” What he said was true. I was known here. If I killed Shane, even in a duel, I would be forced to run. But perhaps it would be worth it. Then at least I would be running from something more tangible, in a fashion, than my own shame. I did not share that thought with him, though, and we discussed pleasanter things until we were weary.
In the morning we went hunting game birds, and had an unremarkable and peaceful time. I knew he had sent word to my family that I was in England, but we did not speak of it. I spent close to a week with him before riding on to find Rucker, whose residence lay in the opposite direction from my father’s lands. Thus I would pass by my uncle’s house on my return, and learn who wished to see me and where.
The sun shone, yet it was cold as I rode east. It matched my mood well. Since the discussion with my uncle, I felt that light had been shed on a great many things. Yet I found myself as numb and frozen as I had felt leaving Florence. I did not know what to think or feel.
Therefore it was easier to do neither; and I had done everything I could to avoid straying into the aegis of either of those twin pillars of human consciousness.
Unfortunately, once on the road, I had little to do but ride and think.
I carefully kept myself on the task of composing my thoughts on my travels into essays of a sort, much as I would do if writing them down, so that when I told Rucker of them, he would not find me completely empty of all the knowledge he had attempted to impart to me.
Ira Rucker had been my tutor from the time I was six until the age of fourteen, when my father dismissed him. I had been his sole pupil –
until Shane came to live with us after his parents died, when I was eight and he was nine.
Even though Shane had been added to our lives, when it came to matters of books and learning, Rucker and I were in a world of our own.
Rucker had given Shane lessons and taught him everything a young gentleman needs to know, but he had paid little attention to Shane beyond that. He had doted on me because I possessed an inquisitive and flexible mind. If anyone else had ignored Shane when we were young, I would have been very vexed. Rucker ignoring Shane was acceptable to me, because I truly did not want to share him, even with Shane.
I had no proof, but I believed Shane was responsible for Rucker’s leaving. Matters were never clearly stated, but someone had intimated that perhaps my relationship with my tutor was a little too much in keeping with that of a teacher and student from the days of ancient Greece. This was complete and utter hog-wallow. My relationship with Rucker had been in all ways chaste, and I had in truth never harbored any thought of that nature concerning the man.
I did recall once discussing the subject of men loving men, in relation to some writings, and learning that Rucker did not favor men in the least. However, he was fond of the idea of men living together away from the distractions of women and children, that they could engage in pure discourse for the sake of intellectual development. To Rucker, sex was an unfortunate byproduct of our basic animal nature, and the need for it was something to be overcome if one wished to engage in the pursuit of knowledge. When this talk occurred, I had been in the bud of my adolescence and had just discovered the interesting things my member could do when aroused. Thus I had thought he was full of manure. My cock has always held a great deal of fascination for me, such that I could never be compelled to ignore it.
Rucker now lived with his sister and brother-in-law, in a modest house in a pleasant little shire. The brother-in-law was a pewtersmith and well respected in the village. They had five children. When last we spoke in person, Rucker had
“I understand.” What he said was true. I was known here. If I killed Shane, even in a duel, I would be forced to run. But perhaps it would be worth it. Then at least I would be running from something more tangible, in a fashion, than my own shame. I did not share that thought with him, though, and we discussed pleasanter things until we were weary.
In the morning we went hunting game birds, and had an unremarkable and peaceful time. I knew he had sent word to my family that I was in England, but we did not speak of it. I spent close to a week with him before riding on to find Rucker, whose residence lay in the opposite direction from my father’s lands. Thus I would pass by my uncle’s house on my return, and learn who wished to see me and where.
The sun shone, yet it was cold as I rode east. It matched my mood well. Since the discussion with my uncle, I felt that light had been shed on a great many things. Yet I found myself as numb and frozen as I had felt leaving Florence. I did not know what to think or feel.
Therefore it was easier to do neither; and I had done everything I could to avoid straying into the aegis of either of those twin pillars of human consciousness.
Unfortunately, once on the road, I had little to do but ride and think.
I carefully kept myself on the task of composing my thoughts on my travels into essays of a sort, much as I would do if writing them down, so that when I told Rucker of them, he would not find me completely empty of all the knowledge he had attempted to impart to me.
Ira Rucker had been my tutor from the time I was six until the age of fourteen, when my father dismissed him. I had been his sole pupil –
until Shane came to live with us after his parents died, when I was eight and he was nine.
Even though Shane had been added to our lives, when it came to matters of books and learning, Rucker and I were in a world of our own.
Rucker had given Shane lessons and taught him everything a young gentleman needs to know, but he had paid little attention to Shane beyond that. He had doted on me because I possessed an inquisitive and flexible mind. If anyone else had ignored Shane when we were young, I would have been very vexed. Rucker ignoring Shane was acceptable to me, because I truly did not want to share him, even with Shane.
I had no proof, but I believed Shane was responsible for Rucker’s leaving. Matters were never clearly stated, but someone had intimated that perhaps my relationship with my tutor was a little too much in keeping with that of a teacher and student from the days of ancient Greece. This was complete and utter hog-wallow. My relationship with Rucker had been in all ways chaste, and I had in truth never harbored any thought of that nature concerning the man.
I did recall once discussing the subject of men loving men, in relation to some writings, and learning that Rucker did not favor men in the least. However, he was fond of the idea of men living together away from the distractions of women and children, that they could engage in pure discourse for the sake of intellectual development. To Rucker, sex was an unfortunate byproduct of our basic animal nature, and the need for it was something to be overcome if one wished to engage in the pursuit of knowledge. When this talk occurred, I had been in the bud of my adolescence and had just discovered the interesting things my member could do when aroused. Thus I had thought he was full of manure. My cock has always held a great deal of fascination for me, such that I could never be compelled to ignore it.
Rucker now lived with his sister and brother-in-law, in a modest house in a pleasant little shire. The brother-in-law was a pewtersmith and well respected in the village. They had five children. When last we spoke in person, Rucker had
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