Wiseacres and Drunkards in Attendance, as they were always quite Keen to prove a Pig a Fraud . My
Master knew them well, and had in hand a series of Rebuffs, which generally Shamed them into silence, but here we were first confronted by a lovely young Woman, who simply asked, How I had
felt on being Taken from the usual course of a pig’s Life, and obliged to Work for a Living. We had a stock answer, which was R-E-L-I-E-V-E-D, and that I speedily assembled.
‘Relieved in what way?’ persisted our Querent . And it was then, much to Mr Bisset’s lasting amazement, that I took the occasion to Spell out an answer of my own: N-O-T T-O
B-E E-A-T-E-N. Everyone was Delighted with this reply, at which both Mr Bisset and I took a Bow, but I noticed as he did so that he cast his Eye on me, and hurled at me a Look—though whether
of Wonder, or Disapproval, I could not tell. We then carried on with the remainder of our Act, in which I told the Time, guessed people’s names and Ages , and played a game of Cards,
and each new performance drew fresh Applause and shouts. We had, it was apparent, quite won Over the Crowd at Astley ’ s , and could have hoped for no better result than the
general Adulation of that body—for whatever the proprietor’s or the Public’s views upon Pigs , there was no arguing with Success.
The next Morning, we were visited by a Newspaper man, who wished to work up a Piece on us for the Freeman ’ s Journal , said to be the leading paper of the City . He was a
jolly fellow, Mr Robinson by name, and not only interviewed Mr Bisset, but insisted on seeing me, and putting to me a variety of questions. From this latter interview, he learnt that I was from
Salford, that I had previously appeared in Liverpool , that I was two Years, one Month and eleven Days of Age , and that I found the accommodations at the Inn most satisfactory. All
this was indeed written up in the next Issue, which Sam obtained and brought to me for my Perusal; while, of course, I had always taken some pride in my Handbills, it was a new and very grand
feeling to see myself named in a Newspaper . In the meantime, Mr Bisset was making his social calls, and receiving numerous demands for Private performances, every one of which he politely Declined . For indeed, as he said to Sam later, were he to Answer every one of these Calls , the wind would be quite taken out of the Sails of the public Shows , for it was only
because our performances were Scarce that they were Valuable . It was not until quite late in the day that he and I found ourselves Unattended , and then he cast me a Look that I shall
never Forget.
‘Now listen here, Toby,’ he declared. ‘I don’t know how you’ve done it, or who’s put you up to this foolishness—though I have a fair guess!—but
I’ll not have you Upstaging me, not ever again! Man over Pig , that’s how it has always Been , and how it must Be. A little learning is a dangerous thing, it’s
said, but Understand me now: any more Learning of that sort will be a far greater Danger to you, so long as you’re in my Keeping. Have a mind! I can always take you to Market , and trade you for another Pig who’ll learn just as Well . There’s money to be had, so long as an Educated Pig minds his Lessons , and his Schoolmaster —that’s what people want to see—but no one will put down a Farthing to behold a Pig as its own master! Now you will Mind your Letters , and take
your Cue from me, or I shall do away with you, quick as Thought —do you hear? You may make your way through the World however you like, but were it not for Me, you’d have
no Admirers on this side of a Butcher’s window! And as for that worthless, impudent Boy , it’s he who put you up to this, I’ll wager my faith! The ingrate! I’ll
not have him about, I tell you! There’s room for only one Master in this room, and I’ll tan his Hide who hinders me!’
This Discourse, which was delivered in an undertone of Rage
Master knew them well, and had in hand a series of Rebuffs, which generally Shamed them into silence, but here we were first confronted by a lovely young Woman, who simply asked, How I had
felt on being Taken from the usual course of a pig’s Life, and obliged to Work for a Living. We had a stock answer, which was R-E-L-I-E-V-E-D, and that I speedily assembled.
‘Relieved in what way?’ persisted our Querent . And it was then, much to Mr Bisset’s lasting amazement, that I took the occasion to Spell out an answer of my own: N-O-T T-O
B-E E-A-T-E-N. Everyone was Delighted with this reply, at which both Mr Bisset and I took a Bow, but I noticed as he did so that he cast his Eye on me, and hurled at me a Look—though whether
of Wonder, or Disapproval, I could not tell. We then carried on with the remainder of our Act, in which I told the Time, guessed people’s names and Ages , and played a game of Cards,
and each new performance drew fresh Applause and shouts. We had, it was apparent, quite won Over the Crowd at Astley ’ s , and could have hoped for no better result than the
general Adulation of that body—for whatever the proprietor’s or the Public’s views upon Pigs , there was no arguing with Success.
The next Morning, we were visited by a Newspaper man, who wished to work up a Piece on us for the Freeman ’ s Journal , said to be the leading paper of the City . He was a
jolly fellow, Mr Robinson by name, and not only interviewed Mr Bisset, but insisted on seeing me, and putting to me a variety of questions. From this latter interview, he learnt that I was from
Salford, that I had previously appeared in Liverpool , that I was two Years, one Month and eleven Days of Age , and that I found the accommodations at the Inn most satisfactory. All
this was indeed written up in the next Issue, which Sam obtained and brought to me for my Perusal; while, of course, I had always taken some pride in my Handbills, it was a new and very grand
feeling to see myself named in a Newspaper . In the meantime, Mr Bisset was making his social calls, and receiving numerous demands for Private performances, every one of which he politely Declined . For indeed, as he said to Sam later, were he to Answer every one of these Calls , the wind would be quite taken out of the Sails of the public Shows , for it was only
because our performances were Scarce that they were Valuable . It was not until quite late in the day that he and I found ourselves Unattended , and then he cast me a Look that I shall
never Forget.
‘Now listen here, Toby,’ he declared. ‘I don’t know how you’ve done it, or who’s put you up to this foolishness—though I have a fair guess!—but
I’ll not have you Upstaging me, not ever again! Man over Pig , that’s how it has always Been , and how it must Be. A little learning is a dangerous thing, it’s
said, but Understand me now: any more Learning of that sort will be a far greater Danger to you, so long as you’re in my Keeping. Have a mind! I can always take you to Market , and trade you for another Pig who’ll learn just as Well . There’s money to be had, so long as an Educated Pig minds his Lessons , and his Schoolmaster —that’s what people want to see—but no one will put down a Farthing to behold a Pig as its own master! Now you will Mind your Letters , and take
your Cue from me, or I shall do away with you, quick as Thought —do you hear? You may make your way through the World however you like, but were it not for Me, you’d have
no Admirers on this side of a Butcher’s window! And as for that worthless, impudent Boy , it’s he who put you up to this, I’ll wager my faith! The ingrate! I’ll
not have him about, I tell you! There’s room for only one Master in this room, and I’ll tan his Hide who hinders me!’
This Discourse, which was delivered in an undertone of Rage
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