the problem we’re trying
to cover up is still there. Meanwhile, we’ve buried ourselves deeper in the hole. That’s not how a queen treats herself. Sure,
she’ll go on a shopping spree now and then if she can afford it. But she gets her money straight first, because she knows
there’s a lot more at stake than grabbing the latest “It” bag off the shelf. Financial security frees you up to take better
care of mind, body, and soul.
Of course, it’s different if you’ve got children and you’re struggling to put food on the table and a roof over their heads.
It doesn’t get more real than that. My heart goes out to families that are facing financial hardship, especially in this recession.
But even when you think you have nothing, if you educate yourself, you will learn that there are small things you can do to
stretch a dollar and set aside a little money to save. You don’t have to be a slave to credit card companies and those crazy
interest rates. There’sno need to take out a mortgage you can’t afford and end up in the streets because your home went into
foreclosure. Ladies, you’ve got to own your crown outright—don’t pay for it through some extortionate layaway plan!
When I was growing up, my mother drummed into me the importance of financial independence. She didn’t want to see me end up
stuck in a bad relationship and dependent on some man for my survival. We knew too many women in our community who were trapped.
They got married and had babies, and when their man started cheating, drinking, or being abusive, they didn’t know where to
turn or where to even start. They had to find a job with no experience and no two nickels to rub together. There’s nothing
wrong with being a homemaker, if the marriage stays strong and your husband is able to be a good provider. But that’s just
not the way I was raised.
The Best Things in Life…
Both of my parents always worked. My father was a cop, and my mom had a job as a secretary even when my brother and I were
babies. Thursday must have been payday for my dad, because I remember we always got dressed up and went to a nice Chinese
restaurantfor dinner, and sometimes caught a movie afterward. But Mom and Dad invented all these other ways to have fun that
didn’t cost a thing. Sometimes we’d drive to a nice neighborhood to look at the houses and enjoy the peace and quiet. Or my
mother would pack up a picnic and we’d drive to some nearby park, set up the blankets and a tent, and pretend we were out
on some adventure in the wilderness. Or we’d fry some chicken, make up some potato salad and Kool-Aid, and drive to the Jersey
shore for the day. Or my dad would take my brother and me fishing or camping in the woods. It was all free, and these things
gave me some of my happiest childhood memories.
When my parents separated and Dad moved out, my mother could no longer afford to live in the garden apartment in Hillside
we were renting, so we moved to the projects. Mom was too proud and independent to ask her family back home in Maryland for
support, so she made sacrifices. But she had a plan. She went back to college to get a teaching degree. In between classes,
she worked three jobs. She was a waitress and a maid at the Holiday Inn. She worked as a janitor, and she put in hours on
the loading dock of the local post office, lifting boxes until she injured her back. She earned enough money to send us to
Catholic school, feed and clothe us. A year later, sheeven saved enough to put toward a down payment on a small house on
Littleton Avenue, far away from the projects.
That whole time, we felt rich because our lives were full and interesting. Mom researched all the fun, educational stuff we
could do for free or for just a few dollars. She took us to museums. She found us piano lessons at a community center for
$3.00. She exposed us to other cultures and ideas. She even decorated our tiny apartment
Roberta Gellis
Georges Simenon
Jack Sheffield
Martin Millar
Thomas Pynchon
Marie Ferrarella
Cindi Myers
Michelle Huneven
Melanie Vance
Cara Adams