on the bed between them. Brandon stared it for several moments before his hand slid across the bed and carefully settled on top of Jude’s. It took several more moments before Jude could hear anything over the pounding of his heart.
“He’s as much yours as he is mine. I don’t know what we would have done without you. I don’t know what I’d do if you left,” Brandon whispered shakily. Jude turned his hand over so that his palm was pressing against Brandon’s.
“You’ll never have to worry about that,” he promised. Brandon nodded and twined their fingers together.
Heat burst within Jude’s chest and his eyes started to sting as joy swelled within him. He never imagined that they would be alone like this and touching so intimately. They remained silent for several minutes before Brandon scooted closer, making the space between them smaller until their chests nearly touched. Jude held very still as he fought the urge to pull Brandon’s body against his. He could feel the heat from Brandon’s body seeping through his robe and he was afraid the erection he’d managed to hide successfully would make its presence known. Brandon took a steadying breath and Jude felt the exhale against his lips. He stifled a groan as heat flooded his groin. Brandon cleared his throat and his eyes connected with Jude’s.
“I’m nervous about the sex. I barely thought about sex with women, I never considered being with a man. Obviously, I enjoyed what happened last night but what if I don’t like the rest of it? What if I can’t give you what you want? I’ve thought about it a lot lately but I’m afraid I won’t be comfortable with all of it,” Brandon said. He looked almost panicked and Jude took a moment to find the right words, he needed to make Brandon understand.
“I would be happy if this was all you wanted. Being this close to you and feeling your hand in mine is more than I ever imagined. It doesn’t have to be about sex, with us. I can get that somewhere else.” Jude saw the muscle in Brandon’s jaw twitch and his nostrils flared. “You don’t want me to have sex with anyone else.” Jude’s eyes narrowed as he watched him. Brandon shook his head.
“But I know that’s not fair. I won’t ask that of you if we aren’t…” He let out a ragged breath and Jude waited. “If I can’t be with you like that or I don’t want to, I won’t ask you to give that up.” Brandon looked genuinely conflicted and Jude liked the idea that Brandon was jealous and didn’t want to share him.
“I won’t have sex with anyone else,” Jude said softly. Brandon’s lips pulled tight and he shook his head.
“That isn’t fair,” he whispered. Jude shrugged and squeezed Brandon’s hand.
“Life is rarely fair. If it was, I wouldn’t have had to hide that I was gay until I went to college,” he offered. Brandon’s brows pulled together.
“Do you think I am too?” His eyes were large as they poured into Jude’s. He laughed softly as he pulled Brandon’s hand to his lips.
“It would be much easier if you were,” Jude said gently as he kissed the back of Brandon’s hand. He let his lips brush against the coarse hair as he watched Brandon. “Do you like that?” He didn’t have to wait very long. Brandon nodded slowly and Jude smiled against his hand. “Have you ever looked at a naked man and felt aroused or that you wanted to be closer to him, to touch him?” Jude asked gently. Brandon bit his lip and looked thoughtful.
“I’ve never really seen a naked man, in person,” Brandon admitted. Jude’s chest became tight and a nervous flutter filled his stomach. Jude could tell by the set of Brandon’s jaw that he’d made a decision and steeled himself. Somehow he knew what Brandon would ask before he opened his mouth. “Will you let me see your body. And maybe touch you?” He’d spoken the words through clenched teeth and Jude forced himself to stay very still. Jude was ready to tear his robe from
“He’s as much yours as he is mine. I don’t know what we would have done without you. I don’t know what I’d do if you left,” Brandon whispered shakily. Jude turned his hand over so that his palm was pressing against Brandon’s.
“You’ll never have to worry about that,” he promised. Brandon nodded and twined their fingers together.
Heat burst within Jude’s chest and his eyes started to sting as joy swelled within him. He never imagined that they would be alone like this and touching so intimately. They remained silent for several minutes before Brandon scooted closer, making the space between them smaller until their chests nearly touched. Jude held very still as he fought the urge to pull Brandon’s body against his. He could feel the heat from Brandon’s body seeping through his robe and he was afraid the erection he’d managed to hide successfully would make its presence known. Brandon took a steadying breath and Jude felt the exhale against his lips. He stifled a groan as heat flooded his groin. Brandon cleared his throat and his eyes connected with Jude’s.
“I’m nervous about the sex. I barely thought about sex with women, I never considered being with a man. Obviously, I enjoyed what happened last night but what if I don’t like the rest of it? What if I can’t give you what you want? I’ve thought about it a lot lately but I’m afraid I won’t be comfortable with all of it,” Brandon said. He looked almost panicked and Jude took a moment to find the right words, he needed to make Brandon understand.
“I would be happy if this was all you wanted. Being this close to you and feeling your hand in mine is more than I ever imagined. It doesn’t have to be about sex, with us. I can get that somewhere else.” Jude saw the muscle in Brandon’s jaw twitch and his nostrils flared. “You don’t want me to have sex with anyone else.” Jude’s eyes narrowed as he watched him. Brandon shook his head.
“But I know that’s not fair. I won’t ask that of you if we aren’t…” He let out a ragged breath and Jude waited. “If I can’t be with you like that or I don’t want to, I won’t ask you to give that up.” Brandon looked genuinely conflicted and Jude liked the idea that Brandon was jealous and didn’t want to share him.
“I won’t have sex with anyone else,” Jude said softly. Brandon’s lips pulled tight and he shook his head.
“That isn’t fair,” he whispered. Jude shrugged and squeezed Brandon’s hand.
“Life is rarely fair. If it was, I wouldn’t have had to hide that I was gay until I went to college,” he offered. Brandon’s brows pulled together.
“Do you think I am too?” His eyes were large as they poured into Jude’s. He laughed softly as he pulled Brandon’s hand to his lips.
“It would be much easier if you were,” Jude said gently as he kissed the back of Brandon’s hand. He let his lips brush against the coarse hair as he watched Brandon. “Do you like that?” He didn’t have to wait very long. Brandon nodded slowly and Jude smiled against his hand. “Have you ever looked at a naked man and felt aroused or that you wanted to be closer to him, to touch him?” Jude asked gently. Brandon bit his lip and looked thoughtful.
“I’ve never really seen a naked man, in person,” Brandon admitted. Jude’s chest became tight and a nervous flutter filled his stomach. Jude could tell by the set of Brandon’s jaw that he’d made a decision and steeled himself. Somehow he knew what Brandon would ask before he opened his mouth. “Will you let me see your body. And maybe touch you?” He’d spoken the words through clenched teeth and Jude forced himself to stay very still. Jude was ready to tear his robe from
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