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tell us,” I said.
    â€œA left-handed paper cup.” He flashed me his sheepdog grin.
    The poor guy really thought he had a great idea. Sad.
    â€œSit down,” I said. “Rest your brain.”
    I turned to my friend Nosebleed. He had a tissue pressed to his nose. “Nosebleed, what’s up?”
    â€œI was thinking too hard,” he said. “It gave me a nosebleed.” He shook his head. “That always happens.”

    Beast let out a roaring burp that made the lights flicker. “Yo! I just invented the BURP!” he yelled. “Hee-hee-hee-hee! Don’t anyone steal it. It’s MINE!”
    â€œWe’re not getting anywhere,” I said, sighing. “Come on, dudes. We’ve got to win this thing. Think. Think !”
    Feenman raised a hand. “I’ve got an awesome invention, Bernie. You won’t believe it.”
    â€œI’ll believe it, dude,” I said. “Tell us!”
    â€œIt’s a machine that turns you invisible.”
    â€œWhoa!” I cried. “Yes! Excellent, Feenman. We’ll definitely win with that. Tell us how it works.”
    Feenman shrugged. “Beats me. I just think it’s a cool idea.”
    â€œMaybe you could do it with mirrors,” Crench said.
    â€œKeep thinking,” I told them.
    Billy the Brain jumped up. “This time I’ve got it, Bernie. Think about this—a reusable toothbrush! Get it? A toothbrush you can use again and again!”
    I squinted at him. “Billy, are you from Mars? They’re already reusable.”
    His mouth dropped open. “They ARE?”
    I looked around the room. “Anybody got an idea? Come on—anybody?”
    Beast had a strange grin on his face. His jaw was moving up and down. He started to pant like a dog.
    â€œBeast, you’ve got an idea?” I asked.
    He nodded. “Everyone will love it,” he said. “It’s so tasty!” His grin grew wider. “It’s called Hamster on a Stick!”

    Guys were gagging and holding their stomachs.
    Beast pulled some tiny bones from his mouth. “Hey—try one. The fur gets stuck in your teeth. But it tastes GREAT!”

Chapter 5
SLAP, SLAP
    I left Rotten House and took myself for a walk across campus. Maybe the sun was shining, maybe not. Maybe it was a warm day, maybe cold.
    I couldn’t care less.
    I was thinking hard. And when Bernie B.’s brain starts chugging, I can’t see or hear anything but my brilliant thoughts.
    Once again I had to do all the work. My guys were clueless. I had to dream up something awesome to win the contest.
    How about shoes you can also wear as gloves?
    A light-up comb so you can see your hair in the dark? Brilliant—but not brilliant enough.
    I had my head down as I walked. I was thinking so hard, I could feel my brain turning somersaults in my skull.
    â€œWhoa—” I bumped right into the Peevish twins. Flora and Fauna Peevish are totally identical. They are both short and thin with brown eyes and mousy brown hair.
    â€œHi, Bernie,” Flora said.
    How did I know she was Flora? She was the one standing next to Fauna.
    â€œWhy don’t you watch where you’re going?” Fauna asked.
    I snapped my fingers. “Awesome!” I said. “That might be an awesome invention. A machine that watches where you’re going for you!”
    Fauna rolled her eyes. “You’re entering the Make-a-Great Invention Contest? You’ve already lost. We’re gonna win.”
    â€œAre you kidding?” I replied. “I have my suitcase packed. And I’m learning the Preppy Prep Prep school song.”
    I started to sing the first chorus….
    â€œ Where does everyone keep in step, step, step?
    At Preppy Prep Prep … Preppy Prep Prep …
    We’ve got the P-E-P, and P-E-P spells pep!
    No one is shleppy.
    We’re all just preppy….”
    Flora had her hands clamped over her ears. Fauna was