Leavenworth. She had it still, not with her now, but back at the fort. She’d never thrown it away, not even when she had married Kenneth. She’d never been able to bring herself to do that.
She sighed. That had been a long time ago. Too many years had passed for her to know the Cheyenne warrior anymore. Neeheeowee had changed. She had changed. It was likely he was married and would not be able to explain Julia to his wife. Perhaps that was why he had not come to her rescue. Or perhaps, after all these years, he no longer honored the special relationship they had once shared.
Julia shut her eyes, unwilling to admit to the hurt that the thought caused. And suddenly she remembered, other things: The possibility of love all those years ago, her fear of it, her withdrawal from it.
She had been too prejudiced to see what-was there. Besides, she had been so certain that she could create that same kind of love with Kenneth.
Julia sighed. What good did it do her to think of these things now? The past made little difference anymore. She grimaced. Could it be that Neeheeowee might bear her a grudge? He had, after all, given her the feather, he had as much as told her she was special to him…and she had…run away from it.
Was he now giving her back her due? She shut her eyes, frowning. What else could she expect from him?
“Tsehetoo’otse!”
A small, Indian girl suddenly appeared out of nowhere, jostling Julia. And Julia, losing her balance, fell forward, onto her knees.
“Nestsehetoo’otse!”
“Tatsehetoo’otse!”
Another child, then another and another ran on past Julia. Not one of them offered her assistance, not one even bothered to look at her, one kicking out at her, giggling, and Julia, looking up, felt hard-pressed at this moment to champion the Indians—any of them—including Neeheeowee.
What was she to do about her enslavement?
She couldn’t run. She’d become forever lost. She wished now that she had paid closer attention when, seven years ago, the three young warriors had tried to teach both Kristina and her how to track and find their way on the prairie.
She looked up, wondering, if only for a moment, if perhaps it would have been better if she, too, had been killed along with that ill-fated company of soldiers. Again, she tried to make sense of it.
Why did the Indians let her live? What purpose did her life now serve? Wouldn’t it have been better if they had just…
Enough! She swore at herself, her thoughts.
She was alive…alive, which meant she had a chance, if only she could run away. If only…
She bowed her head. What opportunity did she have? When not fetching water, she was constantly chained to the noose. And no one seemed to spare her a single thought, not even her male captor.
Julia raised her head, looking up toward the heavens, through the tops of the cottonwoods. She breathed in deeply. What was she to do?
Unbidden, an image of Neeheeowee came again to mind. Should she throw herself on his mercy? Should she beg him to set her free?
Never!
She remembered him, his backside today, his irritating, graceful gait as he had walked away from her—only minutes ago. Suddenly her situation seemed too much to bear, and Julia, unable to understand the why of it, any of it, silently denounced everything involved with it: her parents, her husband, white man and Indian alike.
She came slowly to her feet there on the path, and balancing the water bags on her hips, she continued her hike toward the stream, resigning herself to the fact that she no longer commanded her own life. And it was no small revelation that convinced Julia she could champion no one any longer—white or red. Betrayed by both cultures, her disenchantment toward life in general grew, spreading malaise within her as though she were on fire, encompassing all within its path: the good along with the bad. She closed her eyes, knowing that she could no longer consider herself a part of either world anymore, especially a
She sighed. That had been a long time ago. Too many years had passed for her to know the Cheyenne warrior anymore. Neeheeowee had changed. She had changed. It was likely he was married and would not be able to explain Julia to his wife. Perhaps that was why he had not come to her rescue. Or perhaps, after all these years, he no longer honored the special relationship they had once shared.
Julia shut her eyes, unwilling to admit to the hurt that the thought caused. And suddenly she remembered, other things: The possibility of love all those years ago, her fear of it, her withdrawal from it.
She had been too prejudiced to see what-was there. Besides, she had been so certain that she could create that same kind of love with Kenneth.
Julia sighed. What good did it do her to think of these things now? The past made little difference anymore. She grimaced. Could it be that Neeheeowee might bear her a grudge? He had, after all, given her the feather, he had as much as told her she was special to him…and she had…run away from it.
Was he now giving her back her due? She shut her eyes, frowning. What else could she expect from him?
“Tsehetoo’otse!”
A small, Indian girl suddenly appeared out of nowhere, jostling Julia. And Julia, losing her balance, fell forward, onto her knees.
“Nestsehetoo’otse!”
“Tatsehetoo’otse!”
Another child, then another and another ran on past Julia. Not one of them offered her assistance, not one even bothered to look at her, one kicking out at her, giggling, and Julia, looking up, felt hard-pressed at this moment to champion the Indians—any of them—including Neeheeowee.
What was she to do about her enslavement?
She couldn’t run. She’d become forever lost. She wished now that she had paid closer attention when, seven years ago, the three young warriors had tried to teach both Kristina and her how to track and find their way on the prairie.
She looked up, wondering, if only for a moment, if perhaps it would have been better if she, too, had been killed along with that ill-fated company of soldiers. Again, she tried to make sense of it.
Why did the Indians let her live? What purpose did her life now serve? Wouldn’t it have been better if they had just…
Enough! She swore at herself, her thoughts.
She was alive…alive, which meant she had a chance, if only she could run away. If only…
She bowed her head. What opportunity did she have? When not fetching water, she was constantly chained to the noose. And no one seemed to spare her a single thought, not even her male captor.
Julia raised her head, looking up toward the heavens, through the tops of the cottonwoods. She breathed in deeply. What was she to do?
Unbidden, an image of Neeheeowee came again to mind. Should she throw herself on his mercy? Should she beg him to set her free?
Never!
She remembered him, his backside today, his irritating, graceful gait as he had walked away from her—only minutes ago. Suddenly her situation seemed too much to bear, and Julia, unable to understand the why of it, any of it, silently denounced everything involved with it: her parents, her husband, white man and Indian alike.
She came slowly to her feet there on the path, and balancing the water bags on her hips, she continued her hike toward the stream, resigning herself to the fact that she no longer commanded her own life. And it was no small revelation that convinced Julia she could champion no one any longer—white or red. Betrayed by both cultures, her disenchantment toward life in general grew, spreading malaise within her as though she were on fire, encompassing all within its path: the good along with the bad. She closed her eyes, knowing that she could no longer consider herself a part of either world anymore, especially a
Similar Books
