Protocol 1337

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Authors: D. Henbane
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the button labeled Director Reese and wait for him to answer. I tell him to meet me at the CCC, and I would tell him everything. I grab my USB drive and jog down the hall to the elevator.
    Inside the CCC, I start playing some solitaire while I wait for Reese. I didn’t even get a chance to finish my game before Reese walks in. “I called a friend about the Homestake operation and got some information about what we are dealing with. More importantly, about who was in charge.” Reese says.
    “Well sir, Rednek cracked the cypher, and I read over his notes. Someone at HDI stole an item of high scientific value. The item was retrieved from inside a cave in South America. Homestake purchased it for a lot of money; this all went down a few weeks ago. The exact nature of the item is hard to pinpoint. I'm not a microbiologist so I didn’t understand all the technical terms. What I can say for sure is the item has been placed under the care of Dr. Richard Cox, a microbiologist at Homestake.” I explain.
    “This is all a little too convenient for me to be comfortable with it. Well, agent Haus, it seems I need to make some phone calls and confirm a few things. Good work son, how about taking the rest of the night off?” Reese stands up and scratch’s the back of his head before entering the elevator.
     
    Reese seems pretty uneasy by all of this, and I take that as a not good sign. Since I have been granted leave, I think I will take advantage of that. I head back to my room and make myself comfortable. I turn on the TV to catch up with the news and open my fridge to see whats inside. “Sweet mother of god!” I exclaim. The whole fridge is filled with all my favorite foods, endless cans of energy drinks, sausages, assorted fruits and vegetables. Every square inch of the thing was filled with something. So I grab some breaded mushrooms, cheese in a can, some celery sticks, summer sausage, and ranch dressing. Now that's what I call a meal right there. It's about as good for me as drinking bacon grease, but I already died once, what's one more time?
    I decided to stop watching the news after a few minutes. Too depressing, and besides, it doesn’t apply to me anymore. I don’t really care if there is a war going on. I’m deep underground in a bunker. I don’t pay taxes, and to the best of my knowledge, I don’t have to follow any laws. How can you arrest someone who doesn’t exist and is technically dead? After I got done eating, I was starting to nod off watching cartoons. Once my head hit the pillow, it was lights out. How could a bed like this even exist? It feels to me like it cost a million bucks and who am I to argue?
    I wake up the next day at the crack of noon and slide into my shower. I loaded up my favorite playlist, and I gotta give it to the designer, the idea to network every electrical outlet in the place was a sheer stroke of genius. Mounting speakers into every ceiling ensures I never miss a beat of a song or movie. That reminds me, I need to ask Reese to have a touch screen installed for me to use while I am on the throne.
    I get dressed then head to the CCC to actually do some work, if you call it that. I see Rednek and Reese staring at something on the monitor. When I make my way to my station, I see a set of battle fatigues with my name embroidered on the pocket.”Glad you could finally show up, Haus. You might want to get used to the idea of sticking to a rigid schedule.” Reese says.
    “What is this all about Reese?” I ask.
    “Well agent you are being given another mission. You are going to Homestake, you are now a member of the US Army. Congratulations. Get your uniform on, and Rednek here is going to cut your hair.” Reese chuckles. Rednek waves a pair of hair buzzers and flashes what few teeth he has left in a big smile.
    “Here's your identification and appropriate documentation. You have been inserted directly into operations. To make it easy for you to acclimate, your new name and title are

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