him understand. “I need hours. I need days. I need to be with you. Feel close to you. I need the kind of time we don’t seem to have.”
He drew her gently to him, her head pressing against his chest.
“Remember how we used to sit and talk?” she asked sadly. “Just … endlessly? Just say whatever popped into our minds? My God, we used to sit up all night drinking wine … and when morning came we’d pull down the shades … and before we knew it, it was night again.”
He nodded.
“Why don’t we do that any more?” she asked plaintively.
“We’re two busy people, Maggie.”
“One of us is lonely.”
Rob slowly shook his head. It was an expression of helplessness.
“I don’t know what to do, Maggie …”
“I know how you feel about your work, and I admire that …”
“It’s more than my work …”
53
“Exactly. It’s as though you had a mistress. At least if it were a mistress, I could compete.”
“I don’t have a mistress,” Rob said softly.
“Of course you don’t, but …”
“Do you?”
The words had come out before he could stop them.
“Do I what?”
“Have a lover?”
She was taken aback. “Of course not.”
He studied her expression carefully. “You sure?”
“Well, if I’m not sure, he couldn’t be much of a lover, could he?”
“I’m serious.”
She couldn’t help laughing, but she stopped when she saw how pained he was.
“I’ve only loved one man in my life,” she said quietly. “Isn’t that a silly thing at the age of thirty? If I admitted that to any one of the girls in the orchestra, they’d laugh me off the stage. Do you know, there’s a girl there who-” She stopped herself, suddenly bursting into laughter.
Her abrupt shift of mood was so inappropriate that Rob was disoriented by it. But he couldn’t help laughing with her.
“There’s a girl there who … what?” he asked.
“For starters, she plays the clarinet. If you get the symbolism.”
“Yes.”
“Well, she doesn’t like pills or diaphragms. The pills make her sick and the diaphragms aren’t a hundred percent effective. I mean, people do get pregnant even when they use diaphragms.”
“Not usually.”
“But it does happen, am I right?”
“In theory.”
Rob maintained a smile, but there was something wrong with the conversation. Maggie was babbling.
“Well, anyway, she thinks you can get pregnant with a diaphragm, and so she buys these … you
54
know … what do you call them? For a man? Condoms?”
“Um-hm.”
“She goes to the university dispensary and gets them by the dozens. I saw them. She keeps them in her purse. They come all connected together in plastic, like machine-gun bullets or something, in a long chain, and she orders a hundred of them at once, and she just opens her beach bag and they feed them in over the counter.”
She stopped and suddenly laughed again, slapping her hand to her mouth. “Can you imagine?”
“Nope.”
“You know how many men she’s slept with? Between five hundred and a thousand. That’s what she told me. Can you imagine? That she’s not sure about a mere five hundred?”
It was so bizarre that Rob began to laugh again.
“Who is she?”
“I’m not going to tell.”
Their laughter faded and they sat gazing at each other, the classical music still playing softly in the background. Their eyes held, the mood softening to the moment when one of them had to speak. But neither wanted to.
“Do you know what just happened, Rob?” Maggie whispered.
“What?”
“You and I laughed with each other. How long has it been since we did that?”
Rob nodded in saddened agreement. “Long time.”
“That’s what I need, Rob. To feel easy with you. And free. And relaxed. If I could just have some time for that, then I could say everything that’s on my mind.”
“What is on your mind, Maggie?”
She stiffened, feeling her toes curling in her shoes. “Ymi’re leaving in three hours. I need more
He drew her gently to him, her head pressing against his chest.
“Remember how we used to sit and talk?” she asked sadly. “Just … endlessly? Just say whatever popped into our minds? My God, we used to sit up all night drinking wine … and when morning came we’d pull down the shades … and before we knew it, it was night again.”
He nodded.
“Why don’t we do that any more?” she asked plaintively.
“We’re two busy people, Maggie.”
“One of us is lonely.”
Rob slowly shook his head. It was an expression of helplessness.
“I don’t know what to do, Maggie …”
“I know how you feel about your work, and I admire that …”
“It’s more than my work …”
53
“Exactly. It’s as though you had a mistress. At least if it were a mistress, I could compete.”
“I don’t have a mistress,” Rob said softly.
“Of course you don’t, but …”
“Do you?”
The words had come out before he could stop them.
“Do I what?”
“Have a lover?”
She was taken aback. “Of course not.”
He studied her expression carefully. “You sure?”
“Well, if I’m not sure, he couldn’t be much of a lover, could he?”
“I’m serious.”
She couldn’t help laughing, but she stopped when she saw how pained he was.
“I’ve only loved one man in my life,” she said quietly. “Isn’t that a silly thing at the age of thirty? If I admitted that to any one of the girls in the orchestra, they’d laugh me off the stage. Do you know, there’s a girl there who-” She stopped herself, suddenly bursting into laughter.
Her abrupt shift of mood was so inappropriate that Rob was disoriented by it. But he couldn’t help laughing with her.
“There’s a girl there who … what?” he asked.
“For starters, she plays the clarinet. If you get the symbolism.”
“Yes.”
“Well, she doesn’t like pills or diaphragms. The pills make her sick and the diaphragms aren’t a hundred percent effective. I mean, people do get pregnant even when they use diaphragms.”
“Not usually.”
“But it does happen, am I right?”
“In theory.”
Rob maintained a smile, but there was something wrong with the conversation. Maggie was babbling.
“Well, anyway, she thinks you can get pregnant with a diaphragm, and so she buys these … you
54
know … what do you call them? For a man? Condoms?”
“Um-hm.”
“She goes to the university dispensary and gets them by the dozens. I saw them. She keeps them in her purse. They come all connected together in plastic, like machine-gun bullets or something, in a long chain, and she orders a hundred of them at once, and she just opens her beach bag and they feed them in over the counter.”
She stopped and suddenly laughed again, slapping her hand to her mouth. “Can you imagine?”
“Nope.”
“You know how many men she’s slept with? Between five hundred and a thousand. That’s what she told me. Can you imagine? That she’s not sure about a mere five hundred?”
It was so bizarre that Rob began to laugh again.
“Who is she?”
“I’m not going to tell.”
Their laughter faded and they sat gazing at each other, the classical music still playing softly in the background. Their eyes held, the mood softening to the moment when one of them had to speak. But neither wanted to.
“Do you know what just happened, Rob?” Maggie whispered.
“What?”
“You and I laughed with each other. How long has it been since we did that?”
Rob nodded in saddened agreement. “Long time.”
“That’s what I need, Rob. To feel easy with you. And free. And relaxed. If I could just have some time for that, then I could say everything that’s on my mind.”
“What is on your mind, Maggie?”
She stiffened, feeling her toes curling in her shoes. “Ymi’re leaving in three hours. I need more
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