Nosferatu. 'You are not getting that information out of me.'
Grandmere stubbed out her cigarette in this ashtray Sebastiano had provided, and went, 'Very well. I take it, then, that the gentleman in question does not return your ardour.'
There was no point in lying to her. Not now. Not with my nostrils.
My shoulders sagged. 'No. He likes this other girl. This really smart girl who knows how to clone fruit flies.'
Grandmere snorted. 'A useful talent. Well, never mind that now. I don't suppose, Amelia, that you are acquainted with the expression “dirty dishwater is better than none”?'
I guess she must have been" able to tell from my perplexed expression that this was one I hadn't heard before, since she went on, 'Do not throw away this Kenny until you have managed to secure someone better.'
I stared at her, horrified. Really, my grandmother has said - and done - some pretty cold things in her time, but this one took the biscuit.
'Secure someone better?' I couldn't believe she actually meant what I thought she meant. 'You mean I shouldn't break up with Kenny until I've got someone else?'
Grandmere lit another cigarette. 'But of course.'
'But, Grandmere.' I swear to God, sometimes I can't figure out if she's human or some kind of alien life force sent down from another planet to spy on us. 'You can't do that. You can't just string a guy along like that, knowing that you don't feel the same way about him that he feels about you.'
Grandmere exhaled a long plume of blue smoke. 'Why not?'
'Because it's completely unethical!' I shook my head. 'No. I'm breaking up with Kenny. Right away. Tonight, as a matter of fact.'
Grandmere stroked Rommel under the chin. He looked more miserable than ever, as if instead of stroking him she was peeling the skin away from his body. He really is the most heinous excuse for a dog I have ever seen.
'That,' Grandmere said, 'is your prerogative, of course. But allow me to point out to you that if you break off your relationship with this young man, your Biology grade will suffer.'
I was shocked. But mostly because this was something I
had already thought of myself. I was amazed Grandmere and I had actually shared something.
Which was really the only reason I shouted, 'Grandmere!'
'Well,' Grandmere said, flicking ash from her cigarette into the nearby crystal ashtray. 'Isn't it true? You are only making what,
a C, in this class? And that is only because that young man allows you to copy his answers to the homework.'
'Grandmere!' I yelled again. Because, of course, she's right.
She looked at the ceiling. 'Let me see,' she said. 'With your D in Algebra, if you get anything less than a C in Biology your grade point average will take quite a little dip this semester.'
'Grandmere.' I couldn't believe this. She was right. She was so right. But still. 'I am not going to postpone breaking up with Kenny until after the Final. That would be just plain wrong.'
'Suit yourself,' Grandmere said with a sigh. 'But it will certainly be awkward having to sit beside him for the next -how long is
it until the end of the semester? - oh, yes, two weeks. Especially considering the fact that after you break things off with him,
he probably won't even speak to you any more.'
God, so true. And not something I hadn't thought of myself. If Kenny got mad enough over me breaking up with him not to want to speak to me any more, sixth period was going to be plenty unpleasant.
And what about this dance?' Grandmere rattled the ice in her Sidecar. 'This Christmas dance?'
'It's not a Christmas dance,' I said. 'It's a non-denominational—'
Grandmere waved a hand. The spiky charm bracelet she was wearing tinkled.
'Whatever,' she said. 'If you stop seeing this young man, who will you go to the dance with?'
'I won't go with anybody,' I said firmly, even though, of course, my heart was breaking at the thought. 'I'll just stay home.'
'While everyone else has a good time? Really, Amelia, you aren't being at
Grandmere stubbed out her cigarette in this ashtray Sebastiano had provided, and went, 'Very well. I take it, then, that the gentleman in question does not return your ardour.'
There was no point in lying to her. Not now. Not with my nostrils.
My shoulders sagged. 'No. He likes this other girl. This really smart girl who knows how to clone fruit flies.'
Grandmere snorted. 'A useful talent. Well, never mind that now. I don't suppose, Amelia, that you are acquainted with the expression “dirty dishwater is better than none”?'
I guess she must have been" able to tell from my perplexed expression that this was one I hadn't heard before, since she went on, 'Do not throw away this Kenny until you have managed to secure someone better.'
I stared at her, horrified. Really, my grandmother has said - and done - some pretty cold things in her time, but this one took the biscuit.
'Secure someone better?' I couldn't believe she actually meant what I thought she meant. 'You mean I shouldn't break up with Kenny until I've got someone else?'
Grandmere lit another cigarette. 'But of course.'
'But, Grandmere.' I swear to God, sometimes I can't figure out if she's human or some kind of alien life force sent down from another planet to spy on us. 'You can't do that. You can't just string a guy along like that, knowing that you don't feel the same way about him that he feels about you.'
Grandmere exhaled a long plume of blue smoke. 'Why not?'
'Because it's completely unethical!' I shook my head. 'No. I'm breaking up with Kenny. Right away. Tonight, as a matter of fact.'
Grandmere stroked Rommel under the chin. He looked more miserable than ever, as if instead of stroking him she was peeling the skin away from his body. He really is the most heinous excuse for a dog I have ever seen.
'That,' Grandmere said, 'is your prerogative, of course. But allow me to point out to you that if you break off your relationship with this young man, your Biology grade will suffer.'
I was shocked. But mostly because this was something I
had already thought of myself. I was amazed Grandmere and I had actually shared something.
Which was really the only reason I shouted, 'Grandmere!'
'Well,' Grandmere said, flicking ash from her cigarette into the nearby crystal ashtray. 'Isn't it true? You are only making what,
a C, in this class? And that is only because that young man allows you to copy his answers to the homework.'
'Grandmere!' I yelled again. Because, of course, she's right.
She looked at the ceiling. 'Let me see,' she said. 'With your D in Algebra, if you get anything less than a C in Biology your grade point average will take quite a little dip this semester.'
'Grandmere.' I couldn't believe this. She was right. She was so right. But still. 'I am not going to postpone breaking up with Kenny until after the Final. That would be just plain wrong.'
'Suit yourself,' Grandmere said with a sigh. 'But it will certainly be awkward having to sit beside him for the next -how long is
it until the end of the semester? - oh, yes, two weeks. Especially considering the fact that after you break things off with him,
he probably won't even speak to you any more.'
God, so true. And not something I hadn't thought of myself. If Kenny got mad enough over me breaking up with him not to want to speak to me any more, sixth period was going to be plenty unpleasant.
And what about this dance?' Grandmere rattled the ice in her Sidecar. 'This Christmas dance?'
'It's not a Christmas dance,' I said. 'It's a non-denominational—'
Grandmere waved a hand. The spiky charm bracelet she was wearing tinkled.
'Whatever,' she said. 'If you stop seeing this young man, who will you go to the dance with?'
'I won't go with anybody,' I said firmly, even though, of course, my heart was breaking at the thought. 'I'll just stay home.'
'While everyone else has a good time? Really, Amelia, you aren't being at
Similar Books
